Trip Down Memory Lane | Resignation

In December of 2015, I made up my mind to finally quit my job in an Australian BPO company. No one in my family knew, but I told my friends in the office and my immediate supervisor whom I have grown close with.

Looking back, I knew I almost had the perfect job. It had a great basic pay. Their policies aren’t as strict as those of the bigger companies in the same industry. We were catering to Aussies so with the little time difference between AU and RP, our schedule was also very favorable. Office location was along ADB avenue, so the commute was very easy for me, not to mention that we were very near 3 of the major malls in the metro. People were nice and accommodating. Our supervisors were all very helpful. We had the perks of a typical BPO workplace. What more could I have asked for, right?

Then again, I grew tired of a lot of things. There was a major factor which I can only keep to myself. Then there were reasons that in a sense helped me think things through and then eventually helped me reach a final decision.

First, there were the changes that the management have  constantly implemented. They are a very young company and I get that they have to build new strategies every now and then, but those changes drastically increased over time and affected not only their employees, but a lot of their clients as well. We saw how their company’s own clients took advantage of one another to avoid the burden of the said changes. Plus, they also made changes internally including some employee benefits that were one of the major reasons why I took the job in the first place.

Changes were also made with our schedules so my little group in the office was broken apart, at least in terms of having lunch together and all. Not to sound such a baby, but I admit I was a little clingy and I loved talking to and bonding over food with them. Made the already stressful work easier. Although that didn’t last long as I unexpectedly found new people to have lunch with, including my supervisor who has become a friend too.

Second, I knew that when I took that job, it was only going to be temporary. I had a plan to save up for a camera and workshops so I could go on in becoming the next America’s Top Photographer. Charrr! Seriously though, that was the plan all along, ever since I quit my job in the hospital. Unfortunately, I didn’t save enough as I splurged on my film photography hobby and on food. Yes, FOOD! I still couldn’t figure out why, but I didn’t have any savings at all.

Third, I was getting tired of talking to irate customers, which grew in number along with the changes that the company implemented. There even came a time that we honestly didn’t want to take the calls anymore because the customers were getting so impatient and rude that it became traumatic for me (callcenter virgin). And to think that Aussies are the most polite customers.

Lastly, one of my office friends offered me a home-based job and even though it wasn’t a sure thing, I took the risk, thinking that it was a sign for me to finally quit my job. So I quit when I got back from the holidays last year.

I finally told my parents a few days before my last day at work. My mother was surprised, but I knew I had to make that decision on my own. I knew I couldn’t tell them without a back up plan, so I told them I wanted to work full-time from home.

I applied for the home-based job, waited for 3 months for the whole application process to finish only to be turned down in the end. To be honest, I was led on to believe that I will get the job. My friend’s friend who referred me had to tell me that I had been an unfortunate victim of their manager’s power trip to console me, but I had to pick myself up as well and went back job hunting. To no avail, I failed to find a job, because I was either extremely picky or unqualified.

That, along with my grandmother’s death and break up with the ex, all happening simultaneously were 3 of the most devastating things that happened to me last year. Those almost pushed me over the edge and I didn’t know where else to go. My office friends were half-kidding that I take my job back, but thanks to them and their insane updates on even bigger changes in the company, I knew I wasn’t going back.

So there I was, devastated, heartbroken and broke. I didn’t know where else to go but to Him.

Then soon, I realized, working in the said company wasn’t all bad. I had really amazing supervisors and trainers that were not only very patient and helpful but kind people as well. I also got to work with colleagues that were very welcoming, extremely funny and equally helpful. Lastly, I met friends I never even thought I’d be friends with. They made me laugh, they chatted with me during and outside work, they taught me so much about life and they bonded with me over FOOD! (Have I not emphasized that enough? LOL). They all made my experience in a BPO company worthwhile and they helped me adjust easier with all their horror stories from their previous BPO companies and tips in providing great customer service.

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photos grabbed from Xuxa’s IG account!

Also, everyone was telling me I was very lucky to have worked for that company as it wasn’t the typical contact center with the strict KPIs, and all that shizzz I’m glad I never experienced.

Looking back, I didn’t think I’d reach such a low point in my life. I didn’t know I could go that low. I’m pretty sure it was my worst year, but like I said, it definitely was my best as well. It was a real roller coaster ride for me with all the ups and downs, but I’m glad that not once did I feel disregarded by God. I’m just glad that He was there with me all along. He made sure that it wasn’t going to be all bad for me so I’m even more sure now that He will hold my hand through the good and the bad times, in all the days ahead.

 

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TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE: I’m traveling back in time to write about those 2016 moments that I haven’t had time to in the past year. This is mainly for my own benefit as this blog has been my personal diary for the past 5 years. If you happen to have a chance to share in the joy or to empathize with me, I will be more than grateful as life is better lived when shared. Have a great 2017! Cheers!

One step at a time

So first things, first! I would like to give myself a pat on the back for……………ten-nen-ten-nen……………..RESIGNING! WOOOT! WOOOT! Obviously, I still haven’t allowed myself to let that piece of milestone in my life sink in yet! Seriously! 8 days after I passed the big letter (without any hesitations and with a BIG, CHUNKY SMILE ON MY FACE!), I still cannot believe that I did it! If you ask me, am I really happy with my decision?

It took me one long year and a great deal of courage and long, sleepless nights with accompanied crying fits at times to make this decision. So YES, if you’re asking me if I thought of this well enough. I apparently and wholeheartedly did think thoroughly of this well enough!

Looking back, I never thought I haven’t written anything in ages, to think that I went through a LOT all throughout those 7 months I was in hiding (criminal lang ang peg?). It could really take so much of  your time, LIFE, right? In all my years of blog-hopping, I’ve had some fair share of disappointments after learning that a certain blogger I persistently follow suddenly deactivates his/her account or fails to update regularly due to lack of time. It would take them months before I could get another update from them that I would just be digesting for a couple of minutes. Then I’d have to wait patiently and agonizingly for another one. Pathetic, isn’t it? But now that my work has become my life for the past year, I realized that it really does eat so much of your time!!! I am not a celebrity but it kind of works the same way. You keep a blog, you rant for a couple of weeks or months, then you get so busy, you suddenly don’t give a crap out of writing for the next several months, then out of the blue, you just realize, “hey, I haven’t written in a long time, maybe I need to update my followers (if i still do)”.

But, as ironic as it sounds, I think I kind of like the idea that I got too engrossed in my job. In a way, it makes me feel proud to have a life (just not the life I still want to have right now). Thus the resignation! OHHH YEAAAHHH! 🙂

I apologize if i sound a bit too much in-your-face-ish. It really just feels like I’m starting to discover who I   truly am. For a 23 year old, I know it may seem late to be called a late bloomer, but if it makes you feel complete and fulfilled then I guess there isn’t a definite age limit for this euphemism right?

I know, I know, I’ve been blabbing about how when I was in high school/college, I discovered my love for photography, digital art etc but i never had a chance to pursue this passion blah blah. You already know that (well you can refer back to my previous posts for all the emotional blah blahs I had in years if you have no idea what I am talking about here), but what i didn’t know I have is the guts to actually step up and make a decision so risky, I wouldn’t earn a certificate of employment from my current job. Yes, you read that right. I won’t dwell on it anymore because it would just disappoint me all over again.

Now, if you ask me, do I have any regrets? Of course I do! It’s not like this decision has been easy for me, especially that it has put a bit of an unbridgeable gap between my mother and I. If I put everything on a list, my regrets would have to be (listed from least to most heartbreaking):

  • I won’t get a certificate of employment – I regret not being able to prove that I worked hard for almost 1 1/2 years even though it is my right to have one.
  • I won’t be able to pierce through someone’s skin or vein anymore – yes, it’s true. The very thing I hated back when I was just starting would also be the thing that I would miss doing the most! (But i could always participate in medical missions if i want to, right?)
  • I won’t get to be with some of the best co-workers in the world – That is true again. I know there are people I won’t regret not seeing anymore and I know I never thought I’d have friends there, but it’s one of the things I thank God the most every day.
  • I won’t be called a nurse ever again – I would miss my family, friends and even boyfriend and their friends calling me and being proud of me being a nurse! This is the second on my list and definitely one of the things I think about almost everyday because being a nurse entails so much responsibilities and rewards as well.
  • It became the reason why my mother and I are not in good terms as of this moment – and it has been going on for some time now.

But I don’t want to have to dwell on those anymore. I’m pretty sure my mother would be happy for me too (like my father) sometime in the future. It’s not like she’s gonna ignore me forever right? Plus, I know that I would always be a nurse as long as I want to and I can practice venoclyzing anyone’s veins if I want to (as long as i renew my certificate and license) and I know that deep inside, the people who truly care for me would just be as happy as I am right now.

Before I end this entry, I would like to thank God for keeping me guided in all my thoughts and decisions. If it is not You who helped lead me into thinking that this is the right path for me, then I guess I’m headed for a big flop. Just go flush me down the drain now, will You? But I’m really hoping that this is what You also planned out for me. I know that in my heart, this is what I’m meant to do. And to my papa, the subject of my inspirational entries from time to time, I thank you for being the most creative and supportive father in the world. I know we’ve talked about this months ago and just recently, but you never closed any doors for me. You were always the one to tell us (my siblings and I) to always ask help from God. You were the soft-spoken parent that’s why though you have so much to say, good or bad, I took everything in without reservation. You listened that’s why you understood where I’m coming from. You gave me another chance because you’d want me to learn by myself and see the world through my own eyes and not yours. Most of all, you inspired me to be creative just like you. I may never be as good as you but you taught us well and you inspired us through your own works of art. I want to make you proud someday, you and mama! Thanks papa for all your photography lectures you handed down to me. Thanks for believing and trusting in me and thanks for this chance to help me find myself. Sabi mo nga, dugong artist ako diba? That short phrase means so much to me!

Going back to that one question above, Am i really happy with my decision? Well I think by now, you have figured it out. All I can say is that I’m not only happy that I am finally fulfilling a long time dream but also because even though I have so much at risk and regrets, but when I die and look back, I know I lived my life thinking that we all only live once! Happiness is a choice and this is what I choose to become. 🙂

YOLO! Carpe Diem!

P.S. I just read my entry last October 4, 2012 and I had the exact same entry introduction and topic! ONE YEAR AGO! Coincidence? Serendipity? Is this meant to happen? Gives me goosebumps!