One Great Takeaway from READY PLAYER ONE

Yesterday, I was feeling a little more tired than usual and was passing time in Megamall as my sister and I waited for our turn at the dentist.

As someone who has depression, I think it’s pretty normal to have days when you don’t feel like doing anything. Yesterday was one of those days when even the thought of doing something artsy didn’t excite me as much, and it bothered me.

Good thing, there was “READY PLAYER ONE“!

I’ve been wanting to see this for about a week now and I’m glad I saw it with none other than my sister coz I went home in Manila for the loooong weekend to celebrate a lot of my family’s birthdays.

So I’m right back to feeling high again. Truthfully, I don’t like this “YOYO” effect on my emotions, but I’ll make do with what I get for now, and what I got was one heck of a reality check (pun intended), thanks to RPO!

I’m assuming everyone has seen this since it’s a Steven Spielberg movie, so a little spoiler won’t hurt, but I just wanna make sure I get this one great takeaway from the movie on this blog as I would with any other thing I treasure the most and it’s the moral.

I didn’t get the exact lines (and I couldn’t find them online), but I loved the scene in James Halliday‘s room in the end, where he said that most of us choose to escape reality by resorting to virtual realities or for most of us, the online world. Because of this, we fail to make connections in real life, in the real world, which is how one should live.

I also loved the part when he said that we shouldn’t be afraid to feel disappointed or hurt, because that is part of living. We get hurt every once in a while, but that shouldn’t stop us from living life in REALITY.

So I found the quote from the book, (Thanks GOODREADS!)

“I created the OASIS because I never felt at home in the real world. I didn’t know how to connect with the people there. I was afraid, for all of my life, right up until I knew it was ending. That was when I realized, as terrifying and painful as reality can be, it’s also the only place where you can find true happiness. Because reality is real.
Ernest Cline, Ready Player One“‘

I cried a little on that part, partly coz I felt sorry for James Halliday, and hugely because I somehow felt the same way. One day, we would all be living a life in a box if we don’t start living right now.

I know this sounds easy for me to say, but in a few days when the movie’s effect on me wears off, and I’m back in reality, I would say that we escape it because of our fears. Fear of rejection, failure, disappointment, fear of losing your job, your partner, your money, that is all there is. So we stop living because all we have are our fears.

When this happens to me, I pray and I think of how great our God is and how in a blink of an eye, He can turn things around and how He is bigger than all of our fears and problems.

One day we are all going to die, but before that happens, I wanna make sure that I truly have lived. Even if the world seems so full of shit, there is still some good in it.

Life Lately / 8

Booohoo!! I didn’t get to write anything for March! I made myself a promise never to do this again because I want to be able to always look back on my life. Plus, I feel so OCOC with the archives list on the side of my blog. You see, if you scroll down, you’ll see that the months actually form a perfect wave and it looks pretty! Haha babaw!

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Anyway, I’ve been kind of dreading writing again and doing a whole bunch of other things I used to like doing and I’m not sure why. Maybe I’ve lost interest or the drive and it kills me because I seriously have been doing nothing but bumming around lately.

I feel so hopeless and it scares the heck out of me, but to be fair, my life has taken surprising, little detours these past weeks, which I’ve absolutely never expected.

For one, my grandma died on March 15 after 2 weeks of hospital stay and about 2 more weeks of being completely bed bound at home. I should write a separate entry for this. I still couldn’t believe it, but at the same time, I feel like I don’t feel anything at all. Weird.

I have also reconciled with my barkada and I’m eternally grateful to God and to them for loving me beyond I could ever have imagined. It just made me feel as if windows have been opened up for me when doors have been shut in my life.

Because of that, I have also started reconciling with some other friends I’ve lost touch with!

I’ve also started being more active on social media and this time, I don’t feel as jealous of my friends who have found success in their own individual careers, and that is definitely a good thing for me!

I’m still unemployed for about 2 months now, not to mention back to being single and my life is still nowhere near reaching any of my precious, big dreams (Do I even have those?) and I have no idea when I’ll get my life started. My life still sucks and it seems so much worse now that I don’t feel anything at all or that it seems like I don’t have any ambition anymore. It scares me.

I was reading Saab‘s little Q&A with her fans earlier and I was bothered with this very short but very scary reality check:

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Thinking about it, I’m like 2/3 of those things! Makes me wanna say “what the heck am I doing with my life?!?!?!?!” again and again!

It’s my father’s birthday today and this time next year, he’ll be retiring. My mom was doing her thing again, making discreet, little funny jokes of me retiring earlier than my father will. And even if I don’t want that to bother me and put more pressure on me, I can’t because it’s eating me alive inside!

So what exactly do I want?

I have no clue. I seriously used to have so many things in mind, I used to have so many dreams but now I have nothing. I can’t think of what I want to be in the future. I am hopeless.

I seriously need to do some soul searching this year!