30 Day Writing Challenge: DAY 18

Post 30 facts about Yourself

I’m not sure I’m ready to divulge 30 friggin’ facts about myself, but here goes nothing!

1. When I was in preschool, I remember being a bully and a brat. I remember my parents consoling a crying classmate during a small gathering at school. I’m not sure what I did to her exactly, but I know I was the reason she was crying that day!

2. I used to be so good in Math especially back in grade school and my parents know that. In high school, I may only have been an average kid, but I loved solving problems, fractions, solving for that infamous letter X!

3. I may need to confirm this with my parents, but almost 2 decades ago, when our house was just being built, I may have pushed my little brother against some hollow cement blocks sitting on top of a gravel mound. He ended up getting stitched and I think he was just 3 then! That was very traumatizing for me and I guess for him!

4. My first kiss on the lips was back in preschool and if I’m not mistaken, the boy’s name is Ryan.

5. I studied in an all girls’ Catholic school run by nuns for 11 years!

6.  My first celebrity crush was Carlo Aquino (G-mik days) and my whole extended family would tease me whenever we see him on tv.

7. I don’t eat peanut butter and I would never eat Loaf bread with Nutella, unless it’s on a donut or on crepes. I’m weird, I know!

8. My favorite fruit is mango and I would eat anything with mango: Mango Graham cake, Mango tapioca, Mango crepes, Mango tart from Iloilo, Mango ice cream (my favorite), salad with mango dressing, anything with mango except for mango juice! I know, it gets weirder!

9. No matter how tan I get, my upper body always returns to its natural color, but my lower torso doesn’t!

10. I love bookstores and craft stores and when most girls go gaga shopping for clothes, I go wild over books and art materials!

11. I haven’t read 60% of the books I have bought over the years!

12. I’m such a visual person. I judge books by their covers, I am very critical of people’s clothes and the way they carry themselves, my closet is full of colorful stuff (even my bags and shoes), I love artsy places, coffee shops and restaurants.

13. Growing up, my favorite color was BLUE. That was until grade school. Since college, I’ve become so into YELLOW and that’s where the obsession fascination for this color started!

14. There was a time when we didn’t have a house help and that’s when I started to learn how to cook by myself. I was in grade school, I think.

15. I can say that the scariest, saddest, happiest, most degrading but rewarding moments of my life were when I used to work in the hospital. That’s cheesy!

16. I felt loved more by my college classmates than any of the high school classmates I had, ever did.

17. Being a nurse, I’ve done things I never thought I would ever do,ever in my life, things that most people would find scary or disgusting.

18. Inserting an IV cannula was one of the scariest things I had to learn, but when I did, I became obsessed with it! I used to look at people’s veins all the time and I think I still do!!

practice!

Here were my two senior nurses that let me practice IV insertion on them back when I was just a nurse trainee

19. My favorite shift at work used to be the Night Shift: Patients would all be asleep, and we could eat, share scary stories, chat and play, sleep or even practice IV insertion like what we did on the photo above!

20. I am an extreme procrastinator except when it comes to art projects and little DIY projects!

21. I lived with my grandmother and my uncle until I was about 1-2 years old and just like in the movies, when my parents showed up at the door one day to finally get me, I ran back into my grandma’s house which made my mama cry. They only told me about this story when I was in college.

22. I’ve been indirectly bullied in high school.

23. I have the worst trust issues in the world.

24. I have this thing for feel good movies and disaster movies!

25. I don’t have any unusual abilities like flipping eyelids inside out or having any double joints. I’m very ordinary! haha!

26. I started shooting in film with a real camera back in May 2014 and I haven’t stopped since! Check out some of the photos here! Here’s my little camera collection to date:

Work it! #marsshootsfilm #keepfilmalive #believeinfilm #filmisnotdead

A post shared by M A R S M E D I N A (@marsymallows) on

27. Some of my hobbies include calligraphy, stamp carving, art-journaling, watercolor painting, crafting and snail-mailing.

28. I follow over 2k people on Instagram and most of which are artists, crafters and photographers! 🙂

29. I started blogging back in 2002, when I was in grade 6 and I wrote about it here.

30. I’m extremely afraid of ghosts, of heights and falling and a whole bunch of other little things!

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30 Day Writing Challenge: DAY 11

Something you always think “What if…” about

I have 2 things in mind particularly for this topic and it may seem like there’s this huge regret as I ask myself these questions, but honestly, there isn’t, not even a tiny speck of it, well at least just for the first question.

First, there’s this “What if I stayed working as a staff nurse and pursued this career, would I be working overseas by now like my college batch mates and former colleagues?” question that I may not think about it all the time, but it certainly crosses my mind from time to time and when it does, it makes me look back at my life, not because I regret my decision, but because there’s this possibility that my life would’ve been different. Although, whenever this thought comes up, I also think of the reasons why I had to quit and they simply justify themselves automatically. One of those reasons being, it really felt like I was meant to do something different. Though, I can say that it also felt good to have given it a try because being a nurse is an incredibly humbling and rewarding experience that I would never want to forget. 🙂 So yes, I have no regrets over this one!

Though there might be for this “What if I had taken an art course in college instead, would I have been someone I dreamt of now?” question. I would’ve been really happier studying something I feel really passionate about. This, on the other hand, I always think about, or more often than the first question, at least.

The Sunday Currently, Volume 5

tsc5

R E A D I N G
stuff on my WordPress feed like this blackhole water silde in Germany, this really simple realization about life and some on Cosmo site like this NURSE list.

W R I T I N G
lotsa stuff today like a short comment on my reblogged entry on our UP Samaskom Experience on our couple blog, Day 6 of the Writing Challenge and this!

L I S T E N I N G
to this:

listened

T H I N K I N G
About Monday, my brother coming home on Friday and whether I’ll still wait for B to wake up! LOL!

S M E L L I N G
Soap on my skin! Love the fresh and squeaky clean smell of an Ivory soap!

W I S H I N G
I could join TypeLabMNL’s 2 day lettering, calligraphy etc workshop! All of these amazing speakers I want to meet would all be there!!!

geekout

unnamed (2)

H O P I N G
to have more worry-free and happy days. I need those!

W E A R I N G
my SPREAD the LOVE shirt and comfy silk shorts to sleep 🙂

L O V I N G
Miley Cyrus and Ariana Grande’s cover of Don’t Dream It’s Over!

and yeah, this video of this little kid too, she made me smile and laugh a bit! I loved her “girl puhleaaaaase” attitude!

W A N T I N G
I want a new phone and a tablet too! *droooools*

N E E D I N G
EXERCISE and less of my sedentary lifestyle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

F E E L I N G
not so sleepy at 1:27am!!!

C L I C K I N G
on Photoscape and editing a photo for this entry 😉

One step at a time

So first things, first! I would like to give myself a pat on the back for……………ten-nen-ten-nen……………..RESIGNING! WOOOT! WOOOT! Obviously, I still haven’t allowed myself to let that piece of milestone in my life sink in yet! Seriously! 8 days after I passed the big letter (without any hesitations and with a BIG, CHUNKY SMILE ON MY FACE!), I still cannot believe that I did it! If you ask me, am I really happy with my decision?

It took me one long year and a great deal of courage and long, sleepless nights with accompanied crying fits at times to make this decision. So YES, if you’re asking me if I thought of this well enough. I apparently and wholeheartedly did think thoroughly of this well enough!

Looking back, I never thought I haven’t written anything in ages, to think that I went through a LOT all throughout those 7 months I was in hiding (criminal lang ang peg?). It could really take so much of  your time, LIFE, right? In all my years of blog-hopping, I’ve had some fair share of disappointments after learning that a certain blogger I persistently follow suddenly deactivates his/her account or fails to update regularly due to lack of time. It would take them months before I could get another update from them that I would just be digesting for a couple of minutes. Then I’d have to wait patiently and agonizingly for another one. Pathetic, isn’t it? But now that my work has become my life for the past year, I realized that it really does eat so much of your time!!! I am not a celebrity but it kind of works the same way. You keep a blog, you rant for a couple of weeks or months, then you get so busy, you suddenly don’t give a crap out of writing for the next several months, then out of the blue, you just realize, “hey, I haven’t written in a long time, maybe I need to update my followers (if i still do)”.

But, as ironic as it sounds, I think I kind of like the idea that I got too engrossed in my job. In a way, it makes me feel proud to have a life (just not the life I still want to have right now). Thus the resignation! OHHH YEAAAHHH! 🙂

I apologize if i sound a bit too much in-your-face-ish. It really just feels like I’m starting to discover who I   truly am. For a 23 year old, I know it may seem late to be called a late bloomer, but if it makes you feel complete and fulfilled then I guess there isn’t a definite age limit for this euphemism right?

I know, I know, I’ve been blabbing about how when I was in high school/college, I discovered my love for photography, digital art etc but i never had a chance to pursue this passion blah blah. You already know that (well you can refer back to my previous posts for all the emotional blah blahs I had in years if you have no idea what I am talking about here), but what i didn’t know I have is the guts to actually step up and make a decision so risky, I wouldn’t earn a certificate of employment from my current job. Yes, you read that right. I won’t dwell on it anymore because it would just disappoint me all over again.

Now, if you ask me, do I have any regrets? Of course I do! It’s not like this decision has been easy for me, especially that it has put a bit of an unbridgeable gap between my mother and I. If I put everything on a list, my regrets would have to be (listed from least to most heartbreaking):

  • I won’t get a certificate of employment – I regret not being able to prove that I worked hard for almost 1 1/2 years even though it is my right to have one.
  • I won’t be able to pierce through someone’s skin or vein anymore – yes, it’s true. The very thing I hated back when I was just starting would also be the thing that I would miss doing the most! (But i could always participate in medical missions if i want to, right?)
  • I won’t get to be with some of the best co-workers in the world – That is true again. I know there are people I won’t regret not seeing anymore and I know I never thought I’d have friends there, but it’s one of the things I thank God the most every day.
  • I won’t be called a nurse ever again – I would miss my family, friends and even boyfriend and their friends calling me and being proud of me being a nurse! This is the second on my list and definitely one of the things I think about almost everyday because being a nurse entails so much responsibilities and rewards as well.
  • It became the reason why my mother and I are not in good terms as of this moment – and it has been going on for some time now.

But I don’t want to have to dwell on those anymore. I’m pretty sure my mother would be happy for me too (like my father) sometime in the future. It’s not like she’s gonna ignore me forever right? Plus, I know that I would always be a nurse as long as I want to and I can practice venoclyzing anyone’s veins if I want to (as long as i renew my certificate and license) and I know that deep inside, the people who truly care for me would just be as happy as I am right now.

Before I end this entry, I would like to thank God for keeping me guided in all my thoughts and decisions. If it is not You who helped lead me into thinking that this is the right path for me, then I guess I’m headed for a big flop. Just go flush me down the drain now, will You? But I’m really hoping that this is what You also planned out for me. I know that in my heart, this is what I’m meant to do. And to my papa, the subject of my inspirational entries from time to time, I thank you for being the most creative and supportive father in the world. I know we’ve talked about this months ago and just recently, but you never closed any doors for me. You were always the one to tell us (my siblings and I) to always ask help from God. You were the soft-spoken parent that’s why though you have so much to say, good or bad, I took everything in without reservation. You listened that’s why you understood where I’m coming from. You gave me another chance because you’d want me to learn by myself and see the world through my own eyes and not yours. Most of all, you inspired me to be creative just like you. I may never be as good as you but you taught us well and you inspired us through your own works of art. I want to make you proud someday, you and mama! Thanks papa for all your photography lectures you handed down to me. Thanks for believing and trusting in me and thanks for this chance to help me find myself. Sabi mo nga, dugong artist ako diba? That short phrase means so much to me!

Going back to that one question above, Am i really happy with my decision? Well I think by now, you have figured it out. All I can say is that I’m not only happy that I am finally fulfilling a long time dream but also because even though I have so much at risk and regrets, but when I die and look back, I know I lived my life thinking that we all only live once! Happiness is a choice and this is what I choose to become. 🙂

YOLO! Carpe Diem!

P.S. I just read my entry last October 4, 2012 and I had the exact same entry introduction and topic! ONE YEAR AGO! Coincidence? Serendipity? Is this meant to happen? Gives me goosebumps!

photobomb!

* breakfast date with baby * uncle moe’s shawarma * date with SR, my loves * chumbos * pepper * Papa * Bro*charlie (before and after grooming* moonleaf * paycheck *NICU * Samsung Galaxy Note * SM Marikina * Sis * Bro* MEMC at night *