2016 Recap

I failed miserably to write about a lot of stuff that happened last year. For someone who’s unemployed for 11 months, I never thought so much can actually happen. My 2016 was so packed; I think it was more eventful than the last 26 years of my existence!

I may or may not be going back to work in a few days (keeping fingers crossed), so before my whole world turns around, I’ll be doing a recap of my 2016 and will be writing about those that I haven’t had a chance to write about yet over the next few days.

Pending posts: (hopefully in this order)

  1. resignation
  2. Tribute to my Grandma (part 2)
  3. a sad fling
  4. break ups
  5. depression
  6. Visita Iglesia Road trip with the clan
  7. Puerto Galera trip with my girlies
  8. Photography Workshop
  9. Mt. Manalmon (part 2)
  10. Japan trip (God knows how many parts there’d be)
  11. Mt. Pamitinan
  12. Mt. Pulag
  13. Driving School
  14. Hong Kong trip
  15. Christmas and NY with my family
  16. Celebrating Nikki’s birthday and graduation with SR
  17. Reuniting and Meeting relatives from La Union for the first time (Lolo Turing’s wake)
  18. What God has done for me and how I give back to Him! 😉
  19. People I met
  20. Things I learned
  21. Things I Look Forward To
  22. Things and People I Pray For
  23. What I’m Thankful for in 2016

Wow.

This only means that if I write one entry a day, minus all the unnecessary rants and random posts in between and while working out (weh), I’ll be over and done with in 3 weeks. Not bad. Doesn’t sound good either, but I’ll be optimistic about this! LOL! 😄

On a serious note, looking at all the things that happened this year, I couldn’t be more grateful to Him up there. Not once did I ever feel neglected and even though there were tough times on that list, the happier times really did dominate.

Now, I’m ashamed that I have been dwelling on the sad stuff when God has been pouring blessings on me all along. I seriously have got to practice counting my blessings more, especially since we welcomed a new year once again!

Last night, I was chatting with my friend, Jan and I couldn’t contain the mixed emotions I was feeling. On the way home from LU last night, it started sinking in on me that I’m about to embark on a new adventure and I can’t help but panic a little. Last thing I remember doing was planning for our trips and booking stuff, and now all that is over, I’m here, having cold feet, feeling a little scared but getting excited at the same time. But what the heck. I just came home from my lolo’s wake and I just realized (yet again) that LIFE IS FREAKING SHORT! 

Although I won’t be riding roller coasters or jumping off cliffs anymore again (at least not anytime soon), I surely am braver to do more things that I don’t normally do like striking up a conversation with an aunt I have never met before, or entertaining guests (which I suck at most of the time). I wanna do things that even I will be surprised to know I can do.

I’m not listing any resolutions this year, but I promised God and myself that I’ll be kinder. Simple as that. I’m also done with thinking that people are bad. I welcomed the new year with a cleaner heart and I want it to stay like that for the rest of the year and maybe for the rest of my life.

P.S. I don’t remember listening nor hearing this song in the past days or even the whole entire year that has passed, but I don’t know why I was singing it in my head when I woke up this morning, so I looked for it and I was playing it on repeat mode the whole time I was writing this. PHEEEWWWW!

Can I just dedicate this song to God because I never knew love like HIS before and now I’m lonely never more, since He came into my life! 🙂 That is true and I wish it is true for you as well! God’s love is the greatest and they say that you only truly have experienced God’s love when you go out into the world and get to share this love to others as well! Make others feel that God loves them! Make them feel the goodness of God’s heart! Make them feel loved always by doing what Ellen always says, being kind to one another!

Happy New Year! Happy 2017 to all of us! 🙂 CHEERS! May God bless all of us more and may we always pray for each other, not only for those we care about, but most especially for those who are feeling hopeless in life, those in difficult situations, those who don’t know God, all the souls in purgatory and those that are losing faith in Him! Good Vibes all the way! 🙂

LRM_EXPORT_20161228_202519.jpg

photo from lil bro

 

mars2

 

 

 

 

Life Lately / 5

20560003

I can’t believe 2015’s over in just a few hours. It’s been a scary, depressing but amazing year for me and I wouldn’t have been able to make it through without the people who helped me and the exciting new things I’ve got to try!

For this Life Lately entry, I’m listing down the things, experiences and people I’m really, really, really grateful for in 2015.

  • THINGS:
    • Film Cameras: This year, I’ve added a few more cameras to my collection, all of which I’ve used except for the Minolta weathermatic camera. So If I remember everything correctly, I got:
      • Yashica Electro 35G rangefinder in sexy red 🙂
      • Polaroid Land Camera 230 which is the most old school camera I’ve ever held in my hands in this lifetime
      • Olympus AM-100 Point and Shoot – didn’t think I’d enjoy using one!
      • Minolta Weathermatic underwater camera
      • Yashicaflex TLR – still trying to figure out which one it isIMG_20151204_220732
      • Olympus Pen EE-S – a half frame camera I never thought I’ll ever find IMG_20151219_152911
    • I also got myself a cheap film scanner. It’s not the best but it has been quite useful.
    • I’m also grateful to finally have started investing for my own life insurance. I would never have been confident in getting one without my former colleague’s help, Ma’am Donna and of course, my sister.
    • Adult coloring books and my own Daykeeper. Not so long ago, I saw a bunch of these adult coloring books online and I’ve been curious since it was on the bestselling list of the Book Depository, so when the fad finally arrived in the RPH, I jumped into the bandwagon, hoping to de-stress and unwind. My officemates also got me another one, coz my wrinkles might have given me away. 😛 Kidding aside, it was very thoughtful of them. I also got my own Daykeeper. Last year, I didn’t get to order in time so I made sure I ordered extra early this year!
    • IMG_20151217_182002
    • Hammock – How could I not be thankful for these cheap hammocks we got in Taytay? I could stay behind our house for hours just looking at the stars at night on these precious little hammocks. 000027
  • TRAVELS/EXPERIENCES:
    • This year, I got to travel more with my family and some friends and first time with B. To be honest, I would never have been able to do so when I was working in the hospital so I have to say, my current job really has its perks.
      • To start things off, this is not exactly far from us since we’re from Rizal, but my family visited the beautiful Pinto Art Museum in Antipolo. My father got the idea from my sister who just went there with her then boyfriend the day before. LOL. We had an amazing time. My heart exploded having seen so many lovely works of art in one place in 2 hours. I didn’t want to go home, but I’m glad it’s so near, I could go back when I want to, and also I need to make sure that my films are properly loaded! 10974402_10206310924117774_833056609924935684_o
      • We went to Pagudpud for the first time and visited a few of the landmarks in the region that we haven’t been to yet:
      • We stayed at the farthest resort in Pagudpud, Pannzian and it was magnificent. The food was great and the place is relaxing. There was no WIFI, no cell service and no TVs, so it was just us and the beach!PIC20150515220112
  • We also got to try the Sand Dune activities in Paoay for the first time! It was unforgettable! 000027
    • We also visited Cape Bojeador and got to try fresh seafood streetfood. I still cannot forget getting a piece of fresh grilled squid for P10. No wonder everyone’s stopping by the road to try them and the rest of their seafood choices. They were dirt cheap, but super fresh and yummy! I’d go back to Ilocos just to hoard these! 000011
  • In May, my sister planned another trip up north, to Bagac, Bataan. It was another first for our family and we got to stay at the beautiful Las Casas Filipinas de Acuzar. The moment we got there, I can’t express how we were so in awe of the reconstructed ancient houses in the whole resort. Even the hotel rooms looked as if they were literally transported from the past. It’s definitely one place I want to visit again, especially in Summer.11222305_10152807686751895_8834770626067608159_n
  • Also in May, my officemates and I went on a quick weekend getaway to Laiya, Batangas and I’m glad B was able to come with me. It was our first trip together and I was very happy it turned out pretty amazing. We stayed at the beautiful Blue Coral Resort000024
  • In June, B and I got to watch the UP Samaskom’s LIVE AIDS. I have to say it was one of the craziest and funniest shows I’ve seen in my life and we’re lucky because it was their 30th year and the it was directed by Tuesday Vargas herself!
  • B and I also got to visit UP’s Chocolate Kiss Cafe twice this year and these were 2 of our most memorable dates. 🙂 new000034
  • We also got to visit the beautiful Monasterio de Tarlac which is situated in one of the mountains in San Jose, Tarlac. We also squeezed in a bit of biking with our parents in the equally peaceful Tarlac Recreational Park before capping the night off at a karting place called KCT nearby. Did I also say that this was back in my birthday? image-9c0643ac995f80d759e09cd354f04222339391237d049ef3d3d49490a60776ba-V-01image-a791d6fe0d19bfff9d8524201f7f939b138041b024c7ca6e006719a86f7792a3-V-01
  • A few days after, we had a chance to visit Padre Pio’s shrine in Sto. Tomas, Batangas. The place was flocked by so many devotees and I’m glad to be part of that, being a devotee myself. new000025
  • Just a few days ago, we had the chance to visit the beautiful Laresio Resort situated in the Alligator Lake itself in Laguna. I’m really thankful it turned out well since it was a vacation that we, the kids, planned for our whole little clan. We got to try their resort attractions like their giant slides, vine swing, cliff diving and kayaking. It was also our first trip with my tito’s girlfriend whom he got back together with, years after it didn’t work out (I assume) between them when they were in college. Isn’t that crazy beautiful? image-a72c966c7092288cc66fb1ee3e20f7f3e1128dfa67cb431f583f24c41dcfa807-V-01
  • To cap things off this year, we got to drive around Clark, Pampanga and do a bit of shopping before finally ending the day back in KCT, this time with our brother. It was so nice to be back! FB_IMG_1451411875760-01
  • PEOPLE:
    • Lastly, above all of these, what I’m more grateful for are the people I’ve shared these moments with, this year. Without them, I don’t really know where I’d be now:
      • My family – They’ll always be the one I would want to come home to, travel with and spend amazing quality time with. They’re forever going to be the people I’ll love unconditionally. I’ll always be thankful for them for the strength, faith, love and profound happiness in my life right now.image-7d0f997e861b12b0d4cea667952fc51ac228c04f8eb68e4e613cf344cc2f9e72-V-01
      • Brianne – He’s beyond the best friend and partner I never imagined I could have. Apart from my family, he’s one of the reasons why I have never given up on life, no matter how ugly it has been. He’s been with me through the most trying times and through my worst days and he has seen the worst version of me. Thank you for holding on.
      • A few of my friends – I’m really grateful for those who stuck with me. I’m a mess and I’m to blame for losing the ones I’ve had, but I never thought that there’d be people who would stay despite my personal issues and I want to thank you all for that. Thank you for listening and just for making me feel that I’m not alone. I specifically want to thank 4 of them, Joey, Juci, Ina and Ma’am Donna for taking me out this year. Having spent time with you all was a breath of fresh air!
      • I’m also grateful for my officemates who have been really helpful and thoughtful and for making me laugh from time to time. Life in the office (and the constant changes in the office) wouldn’t have been bearable without them.
      • I’m also thankful for manang. She has been my dinner mate for the past year and we’ve been bonding over a lot of telenovelas, even though she’s a Kapuso and I’m a Kapamilya. 😛

This year has been really ugly, but looking at the bright side, I didn’t think it would be this beautiful still. Looking back at all of these things, it truly is a miracle that I have so many reasons to feel grateful for.

I’ve been through the worst this year and I don’t think I could ever go this low in life, but despite all these, never have I felt abandoned by God, not once. Even at the brink of giving up, I felt Him there and He always gave me a reason to hold on. So thank you Lord, for 2015. It was the most meaningful year yet and even though I’ve never been the best me this year, I hope I could make it right someday.

Here’s to another beautiful year!

P.S. I’m also thankful for:

seeing this:image-cfaed3c45744dd13dfb8b195d5a877453391d4daeea190f7139ab4255e59f08a-V-01

and this:

marsymallows_full

Challenge Yourself Endlessly

I’m no champion in challenges. That is a fact, but it’s not something I won’t be able to work hard for say maybe in the next few years! Chos! Kidding aside, this January, I’ve decided to start 2 or maybe 3 challenges max, since after all, it’s a time for new beginnings!

First on my list is one for the whole year. It is the Pinoy version of the 52 week Money Challenge! This was initially brought up/introduced by Jan last year. Unfortunately, I didn’t get a permanent job until September and by that time, it would’ve been too late to still do it.

52

This year, when I have long forgotten about it, someone brought it up again and thinking that while I’m still earning, there’s no reason why I shouldn’t give it a try this year. Plus, it’s not too late to start since we’re just on the 2nd week of January, or still on the first, maybe? Now that got me confused!  Never mind! I’m still doing it, come what may!

Now on to my next 2 challenges: Presenting, ehem ehem The 30 Day Fitness Challenges!!! Boo Hoo!! I know this might be way, way more ambitious than the first challenge, but we all got to do it, one way or another! We aren’t getting any younger and I tried on and bought a pair of bikini earlier and I need to look good in it or else, I’d look like a grade schooler with no chest and big tummy! Boy, I look so awful, I need to get Coleen Garcia‘s abs so baaaaaad!!! Yeah, it’s pretty much what I’ve been blabbering about when I got back to work after the holidays! Her abs! I know right?! Some people might not get it or get turned off by it, but dayuummm, it’s like the phase when I was obsessing over flat abs on women is totally over! Now, I’m into that semi-toned/muscular abs (but definitely not the soooooper doooooper scary and manly ones) plus toned body! I need to have them on me!!!!!!!! OA alert!

10865252_854897187896306_450386157_n

Not a big fan of her, not after the whole Bikki (or whatever fans used to call them) break up, but goodness, you cannot not be a fan of her abs! Need I say more? (I’ve said a lot already actually! :P) That’s what you can truly call a #fitspiration or #abspiration. But more than her abs, I admire her (and other celebs’ —-Solenn, Ellen) endurance and discipline.

I got myself a few more things on my list of what I’d like to achieve or invest on this year like send a child to school, get a life insurance, run every night, buy that cheap, film scanner from cd-r-king, buy a printer and scanner in 1, get new hair (maybe this week!!), buy a decent tablet and lots of other artsy stuff, so I’ve got to learn how to keep myself focused and disciplined this time!

Not sure if those are resolutions because that’d only make me hate myself more (not really good at resolutions!). Maybe I’d just think of those as just assignments that I’d have to finish by the end of the month/year. That way, it would sound more realistic and feasible. 🙂 —Hold on, ain’t that what resolutions supposed to be? FAIL!

Anyhow, this year, I’d be challenging myself endlessly. In fact, I’m challenging myself to sleep now, so I could challenge myself to wake up earlier than usual and challenge myself to start the 30 day Ab and Squat Challenges! Boy, those are a mouthful of challenges! Phew! Maybe I need to challenge myself to rise to these challenges!

disclaimer: photos link back to their owners!

New Year

Yes, this looks exactly like my new year post on my photo blog, having the same title and photos, but I wanted this to be more heartfelt than the other post already is!

I was pouring my heart out to someone earlier that it made me finally write something after a long time! I couldn’t get myself to write that year-ender entry I’ve been meaning to since November because of all the Christmas preparations and holiday celebrations.

I still haven’t organized my thoughts to do that yet so I’m postponing it for another week. Right now, I just feel like I should, in Taylor Swift’s words, “shake it off”!

Everyone gets a little hopeful every time a new year starts, including me. New Years give you hope of having a completely clean slate to start life anew; like it’s acceptable, only for that fleeting moment between 11:59-12:00 am, for anyone to just leave the bad behind and look forward to anything that can make the previous year better.

This year, tried as I might to shake off all the fears, negativity, guilt and sadness, I couldn’t! It’s been bothering me for the last few hours that I couldn’t help but vent it out to a friend. Maybe that’s why I’ve been painting in breaks between preparations yesterday, to calm the nerves!

I know I was such a terrible person last year and I couldn’t tell if I still am or not, and now I’m afraid that despite everything I’ve been through last year, I’m bound to fail again this year. I’m afraid that there wouldn’t be anything good for me anymore after all the bad things that 2014 has given me. I’m pretty sure that 2014 was one of the most challenging and heartbreaking years of my life, not to mention the lowest point in my life. Just thinking about the choices and decisions I’ve made makes me want to cringe. What’s worse is that I don’t know if I have learned anything from all my failures. It feels like I’m still the same, old me!

One thing I’ve done though before the year ended is patch things up with the people I’ve been in conflict with, all of which are friends. Though it still didn’t feel right and I guess things wouldn’t be the same as before, but I’ve already accepted that fact long before I decided to apologize to them.

So what else am I looking forward to now? What are my resolutions? What am I leaving behind?

Honestly, I’m still very much overwhelmed by fear, but it helps that I’m still alive to think that I do have a purpose that I need to fulfill. Only God knows how messed up my life really is right now, and I’m thankful that He never got tired of me, a sinner, not even once and the blessings I got this year are evidence to that.

09960005Right now, I feel completely stripped off of everything, like I’m naked, with no one else to get inspiration and strength from but from the people closest to my heart, my family, a few friends and God. So for now, all I want is to get back up and maybe, just maybe take baby steps to fix my self and my life. After all, the sun still rises and I still wake up to see it!