LIFE LATELY / I GOT INKED for Life!

I have a confession to make. I got a tattoo yesterday, July 14, 2018 in Cebu city!!!! That’s it! Thanks for reading guys! I just want to put it in writing! I am MARKED FOR LIFE! LOL!

My parents are gonna get really mad so I’ll tell them when I’m older, waaay older like when I’m in my 50’s or something. Seriously!

I knew in my heart, waaaay waay back that I want to get a tattoo. My parents would never allow for it to happen so while I’m living miles away from home, I got one!

Deep within my heart, I am an aching artist waiting to bloom fully and tattoos for me, are artistic expression of the heart, mind and soul.

How did it finally happen?

Well, my desire to get one intensified when some of the people I know started getting tattoos. There’s my grade school friend, Kara who got herself a ballerina and a serotonin chemical composition tattoo and whom I also asked to go with me when the right time comes, my friend from the hospital I worked for, Laurice who had her whole back tattooed with beautiful dandelions, my friends from the BPO company I worked for, Xuxa and Ton who each got geometric icons. Then there’s my cousin, ate Kaka, who is also staying here in Cebu, also a few miles away from home. She got tattoos all over her body now, her mom also not aware yet! LOL. My favorite tattoo on her is the mermaid on her rib, because she is a mermaid herself!

So, I’ve really been thinking for quite a while now. I decided, I would donate blood to Red Cross first before I go through with it, just in case something comes up, because as we all know, we cannot donate blood for at least a year after getting a tattoo. I wanted to make sure I get on RC’s priority list before I get marked for life!

Sadly, my hemoglobin levels are on a low (again) which rendered me unqualified for blood donation. So our plan (my colleague, Ma’am Grace and I) had to be moved until my Hgb goes back to normal.

A few days or weeks into taking iron supplements, I got to talk to my cousin, ate Kaka again and learned she got more tattoos, because it’s true what they say, particularly my ex, Bri, getting tattoos have an addicting feeling!

So she showed me a few more tattoos she got on her back, a beach wave, a dog paw, an anchor connected to a compass and a flower. So I asked her where she gets her tattoos done and recommended me, Ann Savage. She has a shop just within the city and she said they were all really friendly and accommodating!

I told my colleague that I am getting a tattoo whether I get to donate blood or not. I want to do it once and for all, for myself and she was determined to get one herself so before my beach trip with my friend Chris in August, I knew I had to get my first one!

My dream first tattoo!

I always wanted to get a Scorpio constellation tattoo as my first, but I guess, I’m just gonna have to go back for that (soon! JK!) because I got the quote on my IG account tattoed first.

The story behind the tattoo

For the longest time, Oasis’ “Stop Crying Your Heart Out” was my Instagram and Facebook and LIFE mantra, but a few months or almost a year ago, I changed it into a French statement. I wrote the statement and went to Google Translate and carefully restated each word into French.

My first French statement was “Je suis vivant et vous aussie!” I can still remember every word clearly. It translates to “I am alive and so are you!“.

Then I finally changed it into “Voir la magie de ce monde a travers mes yeux” which means, “See the magic of this world through my eyes“. As a photographer wannabe, my purpose is to inspire people to see beauty in the world, the magic that it still has through the moments and people that I capture, so I can spread inspiration and just the plain old good vibes!

I got that tattooed on my hip, which I could only show you when I’m wearing a bikini at the beach, so I had to get the tattoo fully healed before going to Iloilo this August!

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Did it hurt? How did I go through with it? What was I thinking the whole time?

Yes it hurt, but if I’m gonna rate it on the pain scale, it would be just a 5/10. My dysmenorrhea hurts waaaaaaaaaaaaaay worse than this! Some said it would feel like a cat scratch, but since I’ve never been scratched by a cat before, I would describe it as a little kid shallowly writing on your skin with a needle. There were times when it felt ticklish and there were times when it felt painful, but like I said, just a 5/10.

When we got to the shop, Ann wasn’t there. Sadly she had to go to the doctor to have her sinuses checked, and she does tattoos by appointment only and she’s fully booked til August, but I still wanted to get a tattoo so bad, I didn’t care anymore if it was a girl or a guy who was going to do it. I needed to get it done yesterday! So there I was, draped in a towel and a thin scarf in side lying position and got it over with!

I was quiet the whole time, even though we were so loud when we first stepped into the shop. I was thinking, “was my butt showing through my scarf? The disinfectant felt really cold on my skin and so was the razor! The first touch of the needle HURT!!!!” then it got tolerable, “oohh that felt nice! Now I know why they say it’s addicting! K Imma sleep now!”

Halfway through the tattooing, Ann walked in and we had a brief exchange of smiles. Didn’t get to take a photo with her, but will just probably snap one when I get my second tattoo!

So that’s it! No regrets! I loved my tattoo and so did my friend. We were marked for life and will be getting another one for sure!

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If you want to get inked and looking for a tattoo artist within the city of UBEC, you can find their complete contact information below and they have their own aftercare line in vintage art!

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mars2

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Life Lately / Thank You, More Please!

Life sucks. It does. It’s not rainbows and butterflies, nor it is bound to have a perfectly happy ending.

W-w-wait! Before you move on to the next blog on your feed, I should say that this isn’t one of those rants that have become a regular on my blog for the past months. Believe me, it’s more beautiful than any of my feel good posts in the past!

So I have been spending my 3-day vacation procrastinating on work and just going on long, fast drives, which I should say, calm me and allow me to hear my mind think. –> weird. I know. I also got movies for days like today when I just plan on staying in at my apartment. I also got to the Church just in time for the Gospel and homily, just when I thought that I was too late.

I also got presents for my mom for Mother’s day and for my sister as a late birthday present, and since I don’t know when I’m going back, I got my titas, girl cousins, my brother’s girlfriend and my dad gifts too.

At the end of the day, I am about 6k poorer (half was probably spent for meself), but I’m happier.

I also did my own cards for everyone, and not just any card, embossed cards! Who would’ve thought I’d find a store here in Cebu which would make my heart flutter in all its art-craving valves and chambers?!

I went grocery shopping coz I wanted to cook in my apartment. I have red rice, so I went out to get food that can go with it.

I bought vegetables coz I am craving for healthy food. The lola that I am, IKR? I got asparagus and thought, boy it isn’t that expensive after all. I wish I could say the same for broccoli though.

At the cashier, my debit card acted up. My total grocery cost was about 1.5k, but I only got 1.2k cash so I had to return a plastic container and a 6-L drinking water. And I went home with almost empty pockets, but I got home.

Then I cleaned out my room/apartment, and just as the day was about to end, my neighbor, who’s also a colleague gave me her 4-rack shelf that came with the room. My room is now more spacious and more organized and not to mention, more livable. I like how I can put books and display a bit of my art on top of the shelf.

Then after cleaning up, I cleaned up for Church and even if it said 7:10pm on the clock, I didn’t lose hope. How dramatic, but I am always dramatic when it comes to God. Traffic was building up, but I was only about 10metres away from the church. I almost made a run for another church, coz I couldn’t hear the priest from where I was, windows down, but I went with my instincts and went for it. I got there at 7:30pm, and like what I said, just in time for the Gospel.

You know, I’ve been meaning to write for the longest time, or to write more often, but I found my old journal and I have been writing my thoughts in private lately. They say it’s therapeutic. I think so too, but these things are good enough to share so I’m putting it all out here.

Last night, after I got some goodies delivered to my brother, I went to get a copy of Pay It Forward, coz I wanted some positivity in life right now, but I got something better, at least I think it is, for now. I got “HAPPYTHANKYOUMOREPLEASE“. It’s a Sundance winner, which I only realized now, after looking at the dvd case.

It is a special movie that is now close to my heart. It’s set in NYC, only my fave city in the world and with twenty-something characters?!? Get out! It is a movie to die for! I am exaggerating, nonetheless, you should see it! We get as much good vibes as we can from the world, while we can, right?

I could relate to all the characters as I saw myself in all of them at different points in my life. I bet you will do to. We all go through our twenties unsure, undecided, lost. Some may pass that point in a bliss, others may take quite a while before they get back on track. *coughs* It doesn’t matter. What’s important is we move on, we live life the way we want, better than yesterday, if we can. Pursue a life that will pave way for others or for the next generation if we must.

One great takeaway from the movie though is it’s title. If you’re wondering, Malin’s character, Annie got in a cab and the driver just told her out of the blue that we should be thankful, all the time and then ask for “more please?” because the world is abundant because of it. Simple right, but it struck me and makes me want to make it a life mantra that I’ll add to my wall of weird/inspo wall/art wall.

cab driver: “Bliss is your birth right. You have great potential in this lifetime. The key to your life is gratitude, but you do not give enough thanks. Say Thank you all the time, then say, More Please! With gratitude, the universe is eternally abundant!”

If that didn’t make you want to watch it, then don’t. JK! Go see it for yourself!

As I’m typing this, I just finished another film, a local movie called “Mr. and Mrs. Cruz” which I also got last night as I was looking for “Pay It Forward”; and no, it’s not a local version of the Brangelina flick.

Like the other movie, I’m glad I got it because it isn’t the typical bitter film about break ups. It’s lighter than an airy cotton candy, which makes it my now go-to break up film in the future, if I’ll be needing it. I like the characters’ chemistry, the less heart-wrenching, dramatic scenes. There are a lot of hugot lines, but what makes it different is perhaps, the characters’ optimism and the fact that they didn’t end up together, or so I think. I loved how they managed to make the script less cringe-y, though there are still some scenes that are hard to watch. This movie makes soul-searching less dramatic and more exciting. It is a better “That Thing Called Tadhana”, especially when you’re already in that acceptance stage of loss and grief. You’ll appreciate it more!

You know when it’s all been said and done, what’s left to do is to think, to ponder, to relax.

I went through all of what’s happened for the past days and even if there were moments when I just wanted to disappear or perhaps just be an angel (seriously been haggling with God to just turn me into an angel to guide people even if I’m more sinner than saint), God always puts me back into the right path.

Yesterday, I took out my book, “365 Days of Wonder” and was looking for a quote for mama, then I got something for myself.

“Sometimes, rejection in life is really redirection.”

I realized, I have been through so many rejections in life, in love, in my career (if you call it that), in everything, but I have slowly learned to trust that whatever path I’m treading, it is a path that would lead me to where I need to be. Always believed in that shit, but that shit’s all I have, but God is all I have and with God are my family, my friends and loved ones.

I woke up extra early this morning as usual, probably because of my anxiety or I’m just really old now and old people wake up at 5 on the dot. I wanted to go back to sleep but my mind is too noisy, so I prayed. I wanted to relax so I picked up my Regina Brett book, “God is Always Hiring”, which I got when I was unemployed in 2016. I read lessons 26-30. Each of these “lessons” have real stories of people that have overcome hardships at work.

The last lesson said “There’s no whining on the yacht”. Basically it just said that if you’re currently going through a lot at work and sometimes, you get a little too over dramatic and plan to quit, you have to realize that you’re one of the few lucky ones who has a job to pay for the bills, to put a roof over your head and occasionally splurge on things you love. They mentioned http://www.waterislife.com and how they created a video of children from 3rd world countries reading on complaints of people from 1st world countries. I don’t have to see the video to realize what the point is, because I believe that what these children are going through are more traumatic and gut-wrenching than any of our “gee, my charger won’t reach my bed” problems. I am from a third-world country but I should be ashamed for all the complaints I have been putting out into the world, spreading negativity into a already sad world. First world problems are not problems.

I could go on and on on how one day, I am down and depressed and on other days, I’m back looking for the good in the bad.

Life sucks. It is what it is, but we can always make it better.

I want to share good vibes whenever I can because it is what I can do now to make others feel better. I may be failing a lot lately at what I do, but like anything in this world, it is not permanent. So try to make others smile when they no longer can. Who knows what change that can do for them.

I sure didn’t find myself a copy of “Pay It Forward”, but I hope with what I am doing now, I get to pay the good vibes forward to you all!

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Life is a wonder! Go live it meaningfully!

 

Every Blessing is a Gising!

Gotchar attention, didn’t I?

I didn’t mean to write that on purpose. I am just beaming with positive energy at the moment and I couldn’t get my fingers to type the expression correctly.

I love this saying. I used to hear that from Ogie Diaz on their morning show day in and day out and it made me smile every time because it did make sense, and it still does!

Every gising is a blessing!” only means “Every waking day is a blessing!“.

There aren’t a lot of good things happening in the world today as Toni’s husband, Paul said in one of her interviews (particularly on Bianca’s PBT show), “Life has its way of putting you down“.

Yesterday, I wasn’t in a very good position as I couldn’t really get to one of my targets ever since I started working for this current company, and it’s hard especially since I’m letting myself and those around me down.

What’s tougher is that some of those I count on in times like this, whom I have also constantly supported in their lowest points couldn’t do the same for me. It hurt me a lot, although I have to understand that they too are going through a lot.

Anyway, I went home all down and mad as bad vibes were apparently unleashed all in one day and that day was yesterday.

I woke up not feeling any better. I was looking for a way to turn things around and in prayer, I have found my solace. Thank God. -> always!

I am also grateful for Bianca Gonzalez-Intal‘s “Paano Ba ‘To?!“, which is sort of a mini online show to help those in need of solicited advice. Sort of like the Joe the Mango show of our times, except that this one goes beyond love problems.

If you have seen her series of interviews with these amazing people, good on ya! If not, you HAVE to!

So I have seen most if not all of her PBT videos, but the first and the topic I could relate to the most was this:

So, how to deal with difficult or toxic people as per Piolo Pascual himself? Putting yourself in the person’s shoes, do the sandwich technique, pray for the person and forget about pride raw. How to do all those things po?

Another favorite from this series is her interview with Anthony Pangilinan:

I loved this because I love learning from counselors, career advisers, life coaches etc. They have all these techniques that are applicable to businesses and life in general.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from this 7-minute interview is “Never separate the word purpose from opportunity” which Anthony quoted from Peter Drucker, the father of management. Any opportunity that isn’t connected with your purpose is considered a DISTRACTION. Cool eh?

and I know I should also include her interview with Karen Davila but I’m way past my fresh grad years and I could relate more to the concern of Mr. Kulang sa Kumpiyansa,ย a.k.a her interview with Iza Calzado.

I like her tips which I really have figured out before, but I just don’t always do:

  1. Always bring something to the table and must keep up with the times. – contribute to the conversation
  2. Everyone makes mistakes. – this one I have not really figured out yet, but thanks to Iza for reminding us.

So that’s it! I guess you could tell by my PBT choices how old I am, with the concerns I am focusing more on. Haha!

Oh, this just in, I also love her interview with Atom Araullo, a.k.a. the eternal question: Practical Job or Dream Job?

And his advice? I know I have heard this one before, ehem ehem paging NIN!!

Have a stable job to support your passion!” and lots of other things like “finding your passion in the job that you have” –which may not be as applicable to my line of work, but what the heck, it’s still pretty true.

P.S. this just made me realize, I’m still lucky I have a day job to support my passion and for me to be able to still do what I love on the side. ๐Ÿ™‚

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xoxo,

mars2

Time for Solitude

One thing I realized as I started working away from home is that I actually liked and appreciated being A-L-O-N-E.

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You know when you watch these coming of age movies and see this independent protagonist, who btw, also happens to be an outcast loser weave his way through the cafeteria only to be judged and mocked by all these other kids who are so full of themselves, and you think, “why wasn’t I as brave as this kid when I was in elementary (or HS even)?” Some would ask, “Why am I not still brave enough now that I’m freakin’ turning 100?”. Wehhh OA!

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I wasn’t an outcast loser back when I used to wear my checkered uniform, but I also wasn’t the popular kid, and I have to say, back then, I dreaded being alone.

I couldn’t go down to our school canteen without anyone to accompany me. I feared not having anyone to talk to on the way to our school gymnasium for first Friday masses with the entire school. Heck, I even feared going to the restroom alone, but for way scarier reasons, if you know what I mean! ๐Ÿ˜›

Like most people, I grew up caring so much about what others thought about me. I guess, it’s part of growing up. You have to look good, smell nice. You have to do well in class. You have to have Jansport backpacks. CHOS! And most importantly, you can’t be seen alone, because people will feel sorry for you. WRONG!!!!

I used to hate being alone, but no so much anymore.

When I broke up with my ex, it felt weird to be shopping alone or eating alone, but it wouldn’t take long before I got used to the feeling. I started feeling comfortable doing things on my own. I carried my gigantic bags. I sit in coffee shops alone. I go to church alone (although my eyes still well up at the sight of families holding hands and kissing in church). I even go on roadtrips alone!

I started enjoying the feeling of being able to go wherever because you don’t have to consider what your companion has in mind. All decisions are up to you. It doesn’t matter if you change your mind faster than you blink your eyes, you have no one else to blame but yourself, and it’s okay!

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I like being alone on most days. In fact, I enjoy being alone. It’s a breath of fresh air. It makes you think out loud, yet it also silences the mind. You get to clear your head, talk to God, be mindful of the beautiful things that you have taken for granted.

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You also get to be grateful for the chance to have time all to yourself. It’s time that can never be lived again. It’s time that you will crave for on chaotic days. It’s your escape on negativity. It’s your time to rest and set everything aside. It’s your time to spread your wings on top of a hill while feeling the breeze through your hair without caring what other people also on the same hill think about you. ๐Ÿ˜› Life doesn’t get any better than that, so cherish every moment that you’re alone. It’s a blessing in disguise.

Time alone also made me realize all thaaaaat! O diba? May kagandahan sa pag-e-emote! ๐Ÿ˜›

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With all these goodness spilling over from having that well-needed solitude, I am slowly learning to stop caring about what other people think of me. I can never have control over that. I try to focus instead on what God thinks of me, which is waaay more important than what anyone else thinks of me.

Plus, I also got to take lots of photos in my me-time!

 

xoxo,

mars2

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LIFE LATELY: Walwal WORK DAYS and Realizations on this new Career

Happy are those who are always “kapoy” for they have jobs to sustain their “needs” and satisfy their “wants”.

A typical Wednesday in my line of work and ย within my territory is a slow day. Normally, doctors wouldn’t hold consultations in their clinics as Wednesdays seem to be their rest days, hence, we wouldn’t be as busy as we are on regular days.

I dreaded Wednesdays because I don’t like NOT doing anything on a regular working day while everyone else had “out-towns” itineraries. Thankfully, Wednesday this week was different. I had a very busy itinerary and I was determined to accomplish everything by sweat and by faith!

In the morning, I had to pick up an important document in a post grad convention in a hospital nearby. Happy I got to the hospital via a multicab! Saved me some moolah!

Didn’t get the document though, but got it yesterday, so consider that done!

Funny coz that same day was my first time to be asked by a security personnel for some “goods” a.k.a. samples. Good thing, I always bring our handy dandy, paracetamol ng bayan!

I then took a cab to my designated hospital for the day. Got there early enough to cover 4 of my doctors that I almost never met this cycle. So that’s another tick mark on my list!

My senior counterparts and I didn’t have breakfast so the three of us met up with another senior counterpart in a nearby mall. Had our favorite sisig before going on to our respective hospitals in the afternoon.

Wednesdays are also perfect for visiting the departments to cover residents as they also help in prescribing our medications. The department I was visiting for the day was transferred to their new office which was unbelievably hard to find with people having no clue at all where it really was. I almost gave up thinking that I was being punk’d by everyone including the information personnel, although I felt their sincerity to really help me out. Good thing I got there in time to cover 3 senior residents!! So that’s another task done for the day!

I would’ve covered another set of doctors in the Orthopedic Center, but it was almost 5 and I had to run to the other side of the city to pay for the service of one of my doctors, which turned out to be another challenge for me as the cab driver doesn’t know where exactly the car service office was. I had to coordinate with their point person and google maps and my driver to find where it was! And voila! I did!

Got there in time to have a quick chat with their sales personnel which happened to be quite enjoyable and paid for the service! Met another person to establish a good relationship with as we always use their services!

Before I knew it, I was commuting back to the hospital to see if there were any more doctors to visit. Good thing, the odds were definitely in my favor that day as I finally had the opportunity to see the doctor I was chasing for days! Got my document for product inclusion signed and that’s definitely another BIG TASK done on my list of things to do!

My senior counterpart also got there in time as she needed this particular doctor as well!

After all that was done, she and I went to Casino Espaรฑol to prepare stuff and our booths for the Pulmo convention for the next 2 days. We didn’t expect to be stuck in a meeting with the organizers and other reps from other Pharma companies that night, but we had free dinner, so I couldn’t complain!

The next day, I had even more things to do. Plus I got to visit my other 2 hospitals and got to cover 3 of my doctors, one of whom I got to talk to longer than usual as she was transferring to her new clinic.

I had to run back to my main hospital as they close at 7pm and wouldn’t let reps in after closing time. Took a cab and got back in time to buy me some dinner and got in by 7pm!

It was unusually dark because of the rotating electricity shortage(s) (or what not), but I had to meet 1 doctor whom I had previous commitments that I had to settle so the dark couldn’t scare me away! I was so dayummm determined!

Before I got in the hospital premises, I asked the guard about the electricity problems and it took, he was asking me for this special med that I was handling. He needed it for better performance (if you know what I mean!)

When I got in the medical arts building, the lights went on as if an angel (ehem ehem) came down from the heavens. JK!

I was really feeling lucky though, not just because the lights went back (to think that they waited an hour for it to be fixed), but also because this doctor who almost always finishes her consultations very late in the evening had only 2 more patients a few minutes before 7 that night. Plus, this other doctor whom we find hard to cover also was ready to accommodate reps that exact same time. Got to cover them both!

Just when I thought that that night was over, I went wandering into the abandoned annex building wishing that this doctor I originally needed to talk to that night was still there. True enough, she was still there! I was able to settle this little conflict we had with the commitments I had with her.

At the end of that night, I was feeling ACCOMPLISHED as I got almost everything I needed done, done!

I didn’t feel as tired as I do on normal days because I did so many things I never thought I could do alone.

4 months into this job, I never thought I would be able to do things I’m doing now.

I just realized that:

  1. In 4 months that I’ve been here in Cebu, I’ve met more people than I have in the past year.
  2. I’m slowly getting out of my shell and gradually feeling more comfortable doing it, (who would’ve thought I could do a product presentation with our bosses and all of our counterparts there not to mention about 30 residents, let alone host an equally big event with even more bigger bosses!) which brings me to…
  3. Me being comfortable in approaching people, to talk business or just to have a quick chat.
  4. I can live on taking cabs for now (and I enjoy chatting with chatty drivers when they realize I’m Tagalog), but I would really like it if my car gets here, say next week maybe? haha
  5. I’m slowly getting familiar with the streets around the city of Cebu and how to get to places I need to know for this job, which is a big help for when my car arrives.
  6. I am getting more independent by the minute. I hate owing people so much that I try as much as I can to do things on my own, even if it means spending more on my commute, walking very late at night or risking my life riding habal habals to look for computer shops.
  7. At the end of the day, after talking to so many people, I still want to be back in my shell, be alone and have that quality time with God, me-self and to do things I love doing like my ARTSY FARTSY stuff, photography and of course, writing! Yaaayyy I got to post 1 more entry into this not so personal diary of mine!

Maybe I could write more on my current life as an independent, lost girl next time!

Bye for now! Got to work a little on a rainy Saturday, but God is good for He takes care of all of us and always has good timing! He always saves me especially in times that I get in trouble and when I need Him the most! He is sooooo good, don’t you think?

Leaving you with one of my favorite Golden Hour Photos for more good vibes on a cool, rainy weekend!

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Taken in Pagudpud, Ilocos Norte! Camera: Canon FTb, Film: my favorite, YKL 100

Since I’m on a high feeling all the good vibes this freakin’ weekend, I just got off the phone with my familyyyy all the way from Manilaaaa and they are on the way to QUIAPO and BANAWE to get my car seat covers done!!!! I’m so excited!!!!!!!

Since we’re also on the topic, of good vibes, I mean, I’M FINALLY SEEING MY FAMILY AGAIN coz it’s the longggg awaited, LONG WEEKEND!!!!!! YAHOOOOO!!!!!!

CURRENTLY SINGING MY LUNGS OUT (and dancing to Toploader‘s “DANCING IN THE MOONLIGHT“) coz my roommate went home to Tacloban for the weekend! Can dance in my underwear the whole weekend! Chos!

Love lots,

mars2