Dig Deep πŸ’›πŸ’›πŸ’›

Currently listening to two well-known, Asian MUAs, Veronica Chu and Christine Cho on Instagram Live talk about Asian hate, which has mostly been a recurring topic among my friends and I on social media for the past days.

If you have been spending time with loved ones this Holy Week and chose to get off social media for a bit, you might have missed the latest occurrences that shookdtdtdt the world and the Filipino/Asian community the past days. The news is already bad as it is, but with the sudden rise in attacks on Asians today and the plague that is Coronavirus, one would think that the world might really be coming to an end. Or it’s probably just me.

Just a few days ago, a 65-year old Filipina walking to Church in NYC was brutally attacked by a man in broad daylight. The security camera footage released by the police was harrowing to watch as the man kicked the Filipina several times; and the 2 men who witnessed the assault closed the door on her.

And last week, a Pakistani Uber Eats driver was killed in a carjacking incident by 2 teenage girls. It was filmed by one of the girls and just as the NYC incident, was also very painful to see.

I talked to my Indian friend about this, who was watching the Day 2 trial of Derek Chauvin (who else thinks that he might be living up to his name?) at the time; and unlike most of us who get our news on Twitter or on online platforms, he gets his on traditional, mainstream media. He insists that he wasn’t aware of the fact that Asians are being hugely discriminated against now, more than ever. He did, however confirmed this with his friend who currently resides in NYC. Said friend did say that it has been going on for a while now, but he observed that the attacks were mostly on East Asians, whom these attackers might be blaming for the global pandemic.

I also talk to my friends about this constantly and somehow because of these discriminatory crimes lately, we can’t help but air shared sentiments of completely aborting plans to migrate to another country in the near future. This brings me back to this episode on Racism by one of my favorite podcasts, “Long Distance Radio”.

Around this time last year, they published an episode called “Racism in the Time of Coronavirus”. It was not long since the countries were put on lockdown then when they released the episode, but thinking about it now, this AAPI hate has really been going on for a while now, maybe even prior to when this virus blew up, just not as violent as it is today.

You can listen to the said episode here:

I do get that people are tired of the pandemic, the crisis, wearing of masks, the loneliness, of unemployment and the of the hunger this entails. And when we are hungry and tired, we say and do inexplainable things; but those should not justify the violence that has gone up to a point of normalcy. It has gone mainstream and people, even kids act as if these actions don’t have consequences anymore.

I am truly sorry for everyone in the world right now. We are all victims of this pandemic, but despite being in a difficult situation myself, I cannot just go around blaming random people on the street just because they’re Chinese. Otherwise, all these fight for equality are completely pointless.

I cannot wait to for all of us to be in better circumstances soon. As the Lenten Season comes to an end, I really pray that when we find ourselves brimming with negativity, with hopelessness and even hate, we dig deep within us and look for that one thing that Jesus died on the cross for us ALL! πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ˜‰πŸ’–

Bella Ciao: What I Gave Up for Lent

I don’t remember doing something meaningful for Lent last year. Heck, I don’t remember a lot of things in the past anymore 😝, but I wanna make sure I make this year’s Lenten season count.

If you check out my last blog entry, you’ll see how I have been religiously breaking bad habits and developing new ones, which I’d like to believe I’d benefit from in the long run.

Part of what I want to achieve this year is to develop a closer and deeper relationship with God. Obviously, I wouldn’t be able to do that with all the distractions around me. So, I did little reflection and came up with a plan, and that is to shun my addictions completely (well during the Lenten season, at least 😝).

Now what might you ask is that huuuuge distraction and addiction that keeps me so near yet sooo far away from God? It’s actually no secret entirely that I am guilty AF πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ™‹πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ™‹πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ™‹πŸ»β€β™€οΈaddicted…………… and forever will be to this virtual blackhole that is SOCIAL MEDIA, specifically, Instagram.

I cannot tell you how much of my daily phone fiddling comprises of purely Instagram scrolling, saving, liking and commenting. I don’t need any analytics company to tell me that the only time I spend away from my phone is when I am asleep or taking a bath, that is if I am not listening to a podcast or to my “dance in the shower playlist” – lol, I used to have one!

It’s probably safe to say that I spend merely 16 hours on my phone and maybe half of that is spent just for Instagram entirely. So, it wouldn’t take a genius to come up with a diagnosis that I am in fact, truly and beyond, heartbreakingly ADDICTED!

Now, I don’t want to use Lent only as an excuse for me to give this up. When I thought about it, I clearly would be giving up something that has become such a huge part of me, I don’t know if I can ever live without letting people know what song I’m listening to or what article struck me the most. To be fair, I also shared a lot about faith on my stories, but still, that wouldn’t be fair to Him.

Suddenly, I came to the realization that I might even be spending waaaayyy more time on this, rather than on reading the Bible or simply just talking to Him.

You see, I am not doing this merely for myself. I want to do it truly for Him. I guess it kinda defeats the purpose of Lent, if you still put yourself in the center of it all. For sure, you can do the NO-IG-FOR-40-DAYS challenge any time of the year and that is entirely up to you and should be beneficial for you. On he other hand, Lent should be a time of self reflection, prayer and sacrifice, and should benefit God.

Funny how I am just coming up with some of these realizations right now, as I type this. πŸ€” The Holy Spirit must be hovering over me at the moment. βœŒπŸ»πŸ™πŸ»

So anyway, I am almost a week into my Instagram hiatus. I bid my friends adieu a week ago πŸ˜… and deleted the app on my phone (okay, I might have just logged out of my accounts—and forgot my passwords entirely lol JK!), so I wouldn’t need to deactivate them and have people ask me all the time the reason for doing so. Apparently, people are sooooo quick to judge and think that the only time people go on a social media break is when they’re heartbroken. πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„ Geezzzz getting so tired of narrow-minded people who …okay, would probably also work on giving up ranting for Lent! It’s on my “Habit to Break” list after all! 😝

So far, I only unconsciously pressed on the Instagram icon on my phone about 3-4 times the whole week. Muscle memory, I guess; but on the past few days, I felt no urge anymore to share stuff online, which is little progress, but progress nonetheless! 😊😜

Can I get a what what???!

photo from meme generator

For now, I’ll only entertain withdrawals of writing (both long and short form, hello Twitter!), occasional bouts of 2am hopeless thoughts 😝, and of course, prayer time!

Wishing you, me and all of us well especially in these dark and hard times!

P.S. downloaded Medibang and made these marbleeeeeeeed messages for my last IG post prior to the big hiatus!