Trip Down Memory Lane | Resignation

In December of 2015, I made up my mind to finally quit my job in an Australian BPO company. No one in my family knew, but I told my friends in the office and my immediate supervisor whom I have grown close with.

Looking back, I knew I almost had the perfect job. It had a great basic pay. Their policies aren’t as strict as those of the bigger companies in the same industry. We were catering to Aussies so with the little time difference between AU and RP, our schedule was also very favorable. Office location was along ADB avenue, so the commute was very easy for me, not to mention that we were very near 3 of the major malls in the metro. People were nice and accommodating. Our supervisors were all very helpful. We had the perks of a typical BPO workplace. What more could I have asked for, right?

Then again, I grew tired of a lot of things. There was a major factor which I can only keep to myself. Then there were reasons that in a sense helped me think things through and then eventually helped me reach a final decision.

First, there were the changes that the management have  constantly implemented. They are a very young company and I get that they have to build new strategies every now and then, but those changes drastically increased over time and affected not only their employees, but a lot of their clients as well. We saw how their company’s own clients took advantage of one another to avoid the burden of the said changes. Plus, they also made changes internally including some employee benefits that were one of the major reasons why I took the job in the first place.

Changes were also made with our schedules so my little group in the office was broken apart, at least in terms of having lunch together and all. Not to sound such a baby, but I admit I was a little clingy and I loved talking to and bonding over food with them. Made the already stressful work easier. Although that didn’t last long as I unexpectedly found new people to have lunch with, including my supervisor who has become a friend too.

Second, I knew that when I took that job, it was only going to be temporary. I had a plan to save up for a camera and workshops so I could go on in becoming the next America’s Top Photographer. Charrr! Seriously though, that was the plan all along, ever since I quit my job in the hospital. Unfortunately, I didn’t save enough as I splurged on my film photography hobby and on food. Yes, FOOD! I still couldn’t figure out why, but I didn’t have any savings at all.

Third, I was getting tired of talking to irate customers, which grew in number along with the changes that the company implemented. There even came a time that we honestly didn’t want to take the calls anymore because the customers were getting so impatient and rude that it became traumatic for me (callcenter virgin). And to think that Aussies are the most polite customers.

Lastly, one of my office friends offered me a home-based job and even though it wasn’t a sure thing, I took the risk, thinking that it was a sign for me to finally quit my job. So I quit when I got back from the holidays last year.

I finally told my parents a few days before my last day at work. My mother was surprised, but I knew I had to make that decision on my own. I knew I couldn’t tell them without a back up plan, so I told them I wanted to work full-time from home.

I applied for the home-based job, waited for 3 months for the whole application process to finish only to be turned down in the end. To be honest, I was led on to believe that I will get the job. My friend’s friend who referred me had to tell me that I had been an unfortunate victim of their manager’s power trip to console me, but I had to pick myself up as well and went back job hunting. To no avail, I failed to find a job, because I was either extremely picky or unqualified.

That, along with my grandmother’s death and break up with the ex, all happening simultaneously were 3 of the most devastating things that happened to me last year. Those almost pushed me over the edge and I didn’t know where else to go. My office friends were half-kidding that I take my job back, but thanks to them and their insane updates on even bigger changes in the company, I knew I wasn’t going back.

So there I was, devastated, heartbroken and broke. I didn’t know where else to go but to Him.

Then soon, I realized, working in the said company wasn’t all bad. I had really amazing supervisors and trainers that were not only very patient and helpful but kind people as well. I also got to work with colleagues that were very welcoming, extremely funny and equally helpful. Lastly, I met friends I never even thought I’d be friends with. They made me laugh, they chatted with me during and outside work, they taught me so much about life and they bonded with me over FOOD! (Have I not emphasized that enough? LOL). They all made my experience in a BPO company worthwhile and they helped me adjust easier with all their horror stories from their previous BPO companies and tips in providing great customer service.

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photos grabbed from Xuxa’s IG account!

Also, everyone was telling me I was very lucky to have worked for that company as it wasn’t the typical contact center with the strict KPIs, and all that shizzz I’m glad I never experienced.

Looking back, I didn’t think I’d reach such a low point in my life. I didn’t know I could go that low. I’m pretty sure it was my worst year, but like I said, it definitely was my best as well. It was a real roller coaster ride for me with all the ups and downs, but I’m glad that not once did I feel disregarded by God. I’m just glad that He was there with me all along. He made sure that it wasn’t going to be all bad for me so I’m even more sure now that He will hold my hand through the good and the bad times, in all the days ahead.

 

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TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE: I’m traveling back in time to write about those 2016 moments that I haven’t had time to in the past year. This is mainly for my own benefit as this blog has been my personal diary for the past 5 years. If you happen to have a chance to share in the joy or to empathize with me, I will be more than grateful as life is better lived when shared. Have a great 2017! Cheers!

Wine Wednesday 🍷

 

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Yesterday, I was feeling a lot bluer than usual but God is so good, He sends angels just when we need them the most.

I was blabbering incessantly to my friends, Jan and Nikki on Messenger all morning because I honestly felt like both my brain and heart are going to explode about the same old shit-uation I keep pulling myself back into.

I just happen to be so blessed with friends who have the wisest advice and the patience of this guy

to which I am most thankful for. They talk me back to sanity when I think I’m gonna lose it.

Remember the saying “Friends are angels in disguise“? This is definitely just one of the moments when I truly felt it manifest. Most of the time, I find it hard to listen to God’s answers to my prayers, so I’d like to believe that this is one way of Him getting through to me, by way of my friends’ kind and ever understanding hearts.

In the middle of our conversation, Jan suddenly thought of of dropping by our house, being almost free from corporate slavery herself. So she did and I was very happy that I got to talk to her over late lunch, wine and dinner.

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I like how sometimes, we both want just to hang out and have real, good, private conversations where we can just lie down and actually hear ourselves rather than fighting ourselves through crowded malls or places of some sort.

I barely go out with my friends anymore, so I’m glad that despite such hiatus, I’m still able to talk to them as if we’ve never parted. We never really hung out as often as we used to after graduating high school yet just like everyone else, our friendship remained the same. We still get to talk about the littlest and silliest things in between mounds of our adult problems.

Perfect example was just last night when we tried to name our grade school and high school teachers as well as some of the mild controversies they were associated with that we now find funny. We remembered some teachers and batch mates that have gone ahead. We even got emotional and teary-eyed over one of Karel Marquez and now hubby’s very smart pre-nup videos (thanks to Jan for letting me watch it!).

Late into the afternoon, we decided to finish a previously popped open wine. Let’s just say that we didn’t exactly have the fanciest experience, but the wine still worked its magic just fine to make us all woozy and giggly.

Here’s Jan seemingly back to junior year, Chemistry class. Apparently, we had to filter out the disintegrating cork out of our drinks and voila! Nothing a strainer and kitchen towel can’t fix!

And yes, we also had to improvise a wine ice bucket to cool the thing. 😛

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But all’s well that ends well…

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Nothing like a good laugh and real conversation with one of my oldest friends on a rainy, Wednesday night. My kind of chill.

Of course, we had to cap the night off talking to a rude and short-tempered Uber driver, but just the same, it turned out to be a perfectly good night, that should hopefully last me til I see them again.

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Life Lately / 8

Booohoo!! I didn’t get to write anything for March! I made myself a promise never to do this again because I want to be able to always look back on my life. Plus, I feel so OCOC with the archives list on the side of my blog. You see, if you scroll down, you’ll see that the months actually form a perfect wave and it looks pretty! Haha babaw!

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Anyway, I’ve been kind of dreading writing again and doing a whole bunch of other things I used to like doing and I’m not sure why. Maybe I’ve lost interest or the drive and it kills me because I seriously have been doing nothing but bumming around lately.

I feel so hopeless and it scares the heck out of me, but to be fair, my life has taken surprising, little detours these past weeks, which I’ve absolutely never expected.

For one, my grandma died on March 15 after 2 weeks of hospital stay and about 2 more weeks of being completely bed bound at home. I should write a separate entry for this. I still couldn’t believe it, but at the same time, I feel like I don’t feel anything at all. Weird.

I have also reconciled with my barkada and I’m eternally grateful to God and to them for loving me beyond I could ever have imagined. It just made me feel as if windows have been opened up for me when doors have been shut in my life.

Because of that, I have also started reconciling with some other friends I’ve lost touch with!

I’ve also started being more active on social media and this time, I don’t feel as jealous of my friends who have found success in their own individual careers, and that is definitely a good thing for me!

I’m still unemployed for about 2 months now, not to mention back to being single and my life is still nowhere near reaching any of my precious, big dreams (Do I even have those?) and I have no idea when I’ll get my life started. My life still sucks and it seems so much worse now that I don’t feel anything at all or that it seems like I don’t have any ambition anymore. It scares me.

I was reading Saab‘s little Q&A with her fans earlier and I was bothered with this very short but very scary reality check:

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Thinking about it, I’m like 2/3 of those things! Makes me wanna say “what the heck am I doing with my life?!?!?!?!” again and again!

It’s my father’s birthday today and this time next year, he’ll be retiring. My mom was doing her thing again, making discreet, little funny jokes of me retiring earlier than my father will. And even if I don’t want that to bother me and put more pressure on me, I can’t because it’s eating me alive inside!

So what exactly do I want?

I have no clue. I seriously used to have so many things in mind, I used to have so many dreams but now I have nothing. I can’t think of what I want to be in the future. I am hopeless.

I seriously need to do some soul searching this year!

Life Lately / 5

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I can’t believe 2015’s over in just a few hours. It’s been a scary, depressing but amazing year for me and I wouldn’t have been able to make it through without the people who helped me and the exciting new things I’ve got to try!

For this Life Lately entry, I’m listing down the things, experiences and people I’m really, really, really grateful for in 2015.

  • THINGS:
    • Film Cameras: This year, I’ve added a few more cameras to my collection, all of which I’ve used except for the Minolta weathermatic camera. So If I remember everything correctly, I got:
      • Yashica Electro 35G rangefinder in sexy red 🙂
      • Polaroid Land Camera 230 which is the most old school camera I’ve ever held in my hands in this lifetime
      • Olympus AM-100 Point and Shoot – didn’t think I’d enjoy using one!
      • Minolta Weathermatic underwater camera
      • Yashicaflex TLR – still trying to figure out which one it isIMG_20151204_220732
      • Olympus Pen EE-S – a half frame camera I never thought I’ll ever find IMG_20151219_152911
    • I also got myself a cheap film scanner. It’s not the best but it has been quite useful.
    • I’m also grateful to finally have started investing for my own life insurance. I would never have been confident in getting one without my former colleague’s help, Ma’am Donna and of course, my sister.
    • Adult coloring books and my own Daykeeper. Not so long ago, I saw a bunch of these adult coloring books online and I’ve been curious since it was on the bestselling list of the Book Depository, so when the fad finally arrived in the RPH, I jumped into the bandwagon, hoping to de-stress and unwind. My officemates also got me another one, coz my wrinkles might have given me away. 😛 Kidding aside, it was very thoughtful of them. I also got my own Daykeeper. Last year, I didn’t get to order in time so I made sure I ordered extra early this year!
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    • Hammock – How could I not be thankful for these cheap hammocks we got in Taytay? I could stay behind our house for hours just looking at the stars at night on these precious little hammocks. 000027
  • TRAVELS/EXPERIENCES:
    • This year, I got to travel more with my family and some friends and first time with B. To be honest, I would never have been able to do so when I was working in the hospital so I have to say, my current job really has its perks.
      • To start things off, this is not exactly far from us since we’re from Rizal, but my family visited the beautiful Pinto Art Museum in Antipolo. My father got the idea from my sister who just went there with her then boyfriend the day before. LOL. We had an amazing time. My heart exploded having seen so many lovely works of art in one place in 2 hours. I didn’t want to go home, but I’m glad it’s so near, I could go back when I want to, and also I need to make sure that my films are properly loaded! 10974402_10206310924117774_833056609924935684_o
      • We went to Pagudpud for the first time and visited a few of the landmarks in the region that we haven’t been to yet:
      • We stayed at the farthest resort in Pagudpud, Pannzian and it was magnificent. The food was great and the place is relaxing. There was no WIFI, no cell service and no TVs, so it was just us and the beach!PIC20150515220112
  • We also got to try the Sand Dune activities in Paoay for the first time! It was unforgettable! 000027
    • We also visited Cape Bojeador and got to try fresh seafood streetfood. I still cannot forget getting a piece of fresh grilled squid for P10. No wonder everyone’s stopping by the road to try them and the rest of their seafood choices. They were dirt cheap, but super fresh and yummy! I’d go back to Ilocos just to hoard these! 000011
  • In May, my sister planned another trip up north, to Bagac, Bataan. It was another first for our family and we got to stay at the beautiful Las Casas Filipinas de Acuzar. The moment we got there, I can’t express how we were so in awe of the reconstructed ancient houses in the whole resort. Even the hotel rooms looked as if they were literally transported from the past. It’s definitely one place I want to visit again, especially in Summer.11222305_10152807686751895_8834770626067608159_n
  • Also in May, my officemates and I went on a quick weekend getaway to Laiya, Batangas and I’m glad B was able to come with me. It was our first trip together and I was very happy it turned out pretty amazing. We stayed at the beautiful Blue Coral Resort000024
  • In June, B and I got to watch the UP Samaskom’s LIVE AIDS. I have to say it was one of the craziest and funniest shows I’ve seen in my life and we’re lucky because it was their 30th year and the it was directed by Tuesday Vargas herself!
  • B and I also got to visit UP’s Chocolate Kiss Cafe twice this year and these were 2 of our most memorable dates. 🙂 new000034
  • We also got to visit the beautiful Monasterio de Tarlac which is situated in one of the mountains in San Jose, Tarlac. We also squeezed in a bit of biking with our parents in the equally peaceful Tarlac Recreational Park before capping the night off at a karting place called KCT nearby. Did I also say that this was back in my birthday? image-9c0643ac995f80d759e09cd354f04222339391237d049ef3d3d49490a60776ba-V-01image-a791d6fe0d19bfff9d8524201f7f939b138041b024c7ca6e006719a86f7792a3-V-01
  • A few days after, we had a chance to visit Padre Pio’s shrine in Sto. Tomas, Batangas. The place was flocked by so many devotees and I’m glad to be part of that, being a devotee myself. new000025
  • Just a few days ago, we had the chance to visit the beautiful Laresio Resort situated in the Alligator Lake itself in Laguna. I’m really thankful it turned out well since it was a vacation that we, the kids, planned for our whole little clan. We got to try their resort attractions like their giant slides, vine swing, cliff diving and kayaking. It was also our first trip with my tito’s girlfriend whom he got back together with, years after it didn’t work out (I assume) between them when they were in college. Isn’t that crazy beautiful? image-a72c966c7092288cc66fb1ee3e20f7f3e1128dfa67cb431f583f24c41dcfa807-V-01
  • To cap things off this year, we got to drive around Clark, Pampanga and do a bit of shopping before finally ending the day back in KCT, this time with our brother. It was so nice to be back! FB_IMG_1451411875760-01
  • PEOPLE:
    • Lastly, above all of these, what I’m more grateful for are the people I’ve shared these moments with, this year. Without them, I don’t really know where I’d be now:
      • My family – They’ll always be the one I would want to come home to, travel with and spend amazing quality time with. They’re forever going to be the people I’ll love unconditionally. I’ll always be thankful for them for the strength, faith, love and profound happiness in my life right now.image-7d0f997e861b12b0d4cea667952fc51ac228c04f8eb68e4e613cf344cc2f9e72-V-01
      • Brianne – He’s beyond the best friend and partner I never imagined I could have. Apart from my family, he’s one of the reasons why I have never given up on life, no matter how ugly it has been. He’s been with me through the most trying times and through my worst days and he has seen the worst version of me. Thank you for holding on.
      • A few of my friends – I’m really grateful for those who stuck with me. I’m a mess and I’m to blame for losing the ones I’ve had, but I never thought that there’d be people who would stay despite my personal issues and I want to thank you all for that. Thank you for listening and just for making me feel that I’m not alone. I specifically want to thank 4 of them, Joey, Juci, Ina and Ma’am Donna for taking me out this year. Having spent time with you all was a breath of fresh air!
      • I’m also grateful for my officemates who have been really helpful and thoughtful and for making me laugh from time to time. Life in the office (and the constant changes in the office) wouldn’t have been bearable without them.
      • I’m also thankful for manang. She has been my dinner mate for the past year and we’ve been bonding over a lot of telenovelas, even though she’s a Kapuso and I’m a Kapamilya. 😛

This year has been really ugly, but looking at the bright side, I didn’t think it would be this beautiful still. Looking back at all of these things, it truly is a miracle that I have so many reasons to feel grateful for.

I’ve been through the worst this year and I don’t think I could ever go this low in life, but despite all these, never have I felt abandoned by God, not once. Even at the brink of giving up, I felt Him there and He always gave me a reason to hold on. So thank you Lord, for 2015. It was the most meaningful year yet and even though I’ve never been the best me this year, I hope I could make it right someday.

Here’s to another beautiful year!

P.S. I’m also thankful for:

seeing this:image-cfaed3c45744dd13dfb8b195d5a877453391d4daeea190f7139ab4255e59f08a-V-01

and this:

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Celebrating Life!

Hey Juannina!!! No I refuse to admit that I forgot your birthday AGAIN, because otherwise, I wouldn’t be writing this blog post now!

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I’ve talked a lot about you over the past years in this blog and I can’t deny the fact that you’ve been a big part of this from way, way back. After all, you’re one of two people closest to me who knows about this so thanks for being my virtual pal as well!

So let’s see, I can talk about how we met or how we became friends……………………………….naaaahhh I’ve already done that a couple of times before. But what I can write about though are the good things you ought to hear! So Brace yourself!!

You’ve been a really good friend to me for the past years. I would go to you whenever I have problems or questions about work or whenever I’d feel bad about myself. You’re also one of the few I can really share my passions with. I feel so comfortable talking to you about them because I know you’d understand and because we kind of have the same interests, artsy fartsy-wise.

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Well anyway, you do know that already too. So what else is new? Well, Jan, I want to tell you that I admire your wit. You do have a very gifted brain, thus you have a knack for making complicated things seem pretty simple. So this is why I probably like consulting you for a lot of things. You calm my mind in so many ways.

For a long time, I have also admired your relationship with Marc. You never seemed to have any problems as a couple so I really looked up to you and often wished to be as strong and as independent even with a boyfriend. When you told me you were going through something, it didn’t change the way I looked at your relationship. Call me a hopeless romantic, but I really believe you guys were made for each other 🙂

Lastly, I’d like to tell you that I also admire you for your weaknesses. You’re human too and you have your fears, but I know that no matter how you see yourself now, it won’t matter a few years from now because I know that you’re gonna get to where you want to be.

P.S. I wish that you could find time to do the things you’ve been wanting to. You’re always gonna be busy, so might as well squeeze in whatever those things are, in your free time as much as you can. DO IT NOW! Find courage, time and conviction to do as much as you can while you still can. Don’t hold back because for me, Life is all about taking risks and being happy. It’s as simple as that. Celebrate Life! Happy birthday! 🙂

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 P.S. #2 I know how scary it feels to turn a year older again especially when you’re turning 25. Being 25 seems and feels so much different than being 23 or 24 and not just because of the obvious, but because we feel pressured to achieve something big or life-changing when in fact we already have, we just don’t see it as big of an accomplishment especially since we always compare our lives to others’. One thing to keep in mind though, almost everyone goes through what they call a quarter life crisis (or so I think), but it doesn’t mean we’re not gonna get past it. 🙂