I’m Just a Girl, Sitting in Front of Her Laptop, Asking it to Write for Her

Char!

It took me a whole season of Bridgerton to finally put up a new post. It’s been a while and I’m pretty sure I was inspired by Lady Whistledown or by some strange surge of energy at 10 in the evening after a long, busy day at work. By work, I mean, field work. Yes! I am no longer trapped in the constraints of my bedroom and glued to my computer screen all day. I can finally breathe fresh, contaminated air again. Char! (again).

I wanna say I had a blast of a Christmas vacation, but toned down to about a hundred notches lower, but still, family time is all I wanted and I’m very glad I got it. Mama couldn’t bear the thought of having a Zoom party, so despite the risks, we still celebrated Christmas physically together! Glad everyone was healthy and happy even though the closest thing to a family holiday roadtrip we had was when my brother and I picked up our relatives in Novaliches. Oh, but we did get our quick roadtrip pala to Tagaytay a day before we went back here in Cebu and when my barkada celebrated our annual Christmas party at my friends’ place in Antipolo. Also got to meet my constant Christmas date, my good friend from college for lunch, at our fave date spot, Makati. Plus, I got tons of film rolls processed, so I must say, I am soooooo lucky I am still Covid-free to date.

Now, I am back in Cebu, but assigned in a different territory. Got myself a printer, finally, which I bought in less than half an hour due to limited choices (to which I am so thankful for). I’ve been printing, scanning and photocopying so much stuff during the first week. LOL. Also got an internet broadband installed so I’m looking forward to saving lots in the coming months! Got highlights for my hair for the first time back when I was at home and I couldn’t be more in love with my new look. Had a dental appointment last week and explained my situation to the dentist and she agreed to continue my treatment for the next 6-8 months as long as I get my old records from my former orthodontist. I’ve also been working out consistently since last year, so really hoping to trim my tummy a bit, with the help of our 15 RF + Cavi sessions. Got myself one of those laptop stands and a pair of 6-lb dumbells. Arriving in a few days are my Wheatgrass and Barley seeds, new Yoga mat and a resistance band, and my hydroponic seedling trays. I have got to write about my Shopee haul on a separate post and how I managed to control myself. LOL. So much happening these days, I didn’t realize til I wrote them all down now.

That’s my 2021 so far. Met a lot of people too so I am almost always talking to someone on the daily. Assigned to a new team and a new boss as well, which was a breath of fresh air. My new counterpart told me once that he has a good feeling about this year and I agreed, not just to agree, but because I genuinely felt the same way. Things are looking up for me and in writing all of these down now, I realize that I cannot let that one bad thing that happened to me this year at work pull me down. I have so much to be grateful for.

I have this pinned tweet on twitter dated January 3, 2020 and it says:

And it all went downhill from there. Lol. Kidding aside, I have been actually doing more this year rather than just telling myself to do them. And I keep this tweet pinned to this day as a reminder of the things that I still want to improve on.

I know we’ve heard a lot about TOXIC POSITIVITY in the past year. If it wasn’t the official phrase of 2020 then it’s probably Tiktok, Sushi Bake or Free Shipping; but knowing that it exists isn’t going to stop me from hoping for the best. I am still hopeful for a beautiful life, not because it will be picture or IG perfect but because I have learned a lot from the past and I am determined to keep my shit together and pray for grace, gratitude and peace pf mind for whatever is up ahead. I hope you do too!

Film photo by yours truly. Art inspired by Geloy Concepcion.

xoxo,

Celebrate YOU!

Often, we forget to celebrate the smallest things we achieve in life thinking that only those deemed applaudable by society’s standards deserve recognition.

Why can’t we be proud of the times, we stumbled and fell, but stood back up? of the things we courageously fought for despite having no one by our side? or maybe the little heroic acts we do with our sincerest intentions, and not just because someone is looking?

Note to self: Be proud of what you’ve done may those be for the people you love, or those you despise, for the people who don’t know you at all, for those who don’t believe in you, or for the God you believe in. Most importantly, be proud of what you have accomplished for yourself, for never giving up, for never getting tired of being kind even when the world is not! In the end, your life won’t be measured by the number of trophies you’ve collected, but by how much you’ve done to pull yourself up and the others around you! Believe that no accomplishment is too small, long as it is done from the heart!

P.S. this post was not triggered by the current apocalyptic events in the world today 😅.

SHOOT THE PEOPLE

It’s been a while since I fell in love with portrait photography. I remember how I only used to shoot mugs or all kinds of flora, or rocks by the beach because when I started this hobby, I was so scared to take photos of people. Back then, I was excited with what I thought was artsy photos of inanimate subjects (you know, with the shallow depth of field or in layman’s terms, yung portrait mode sa iphone or yung blurred yung background to make it look pro!).

RANDOM OBJECTS

00002872810010fc200036

2FC021

000031

20560035

13270016

132700102FC026

2FC018000013000030000018000011

2FC006dec007

dec026

fujicolor003

new000035

000025

2FS025

000009

2FS038

2FS023

2FC032

2FC028

2FC029

When I started shooting portraits and street photos, that’s when I realized that it brought me far greater joy and fulfillment. Although, the emotions, story and conflicts these photos portray can be a little heavy and discomforting, it only fueled my desire to tell more stories through photographs!

PORTRAITS

0000120000130000152FC031

2FC003d

20560014

 

2FC013

 

13270007

13270006

fujicolor017

new000031

dec031

dec029

29600022

20560029

 

 

2FC010

000016000009

2FC009

 

fc200026

Superia200000020

2FC009

 

Also, it gives me a deeper appreciation for life. It gives me a chance to sit down and reflect. It makes me feel more human and grounded. It lessens gaps. It brings people together. It creates a connection between people who have never even met before; because that’s how it makes me feel when I look at the subjects’ eyes.

So for this entry, I decided to round up some of my favorite photos of random objects, portraits and street photos I’ve taken over the past years and perhaps let you guys figure out the story behind each photo. All of these btw were taken using film cameras, and don’t you agree when I say, film made each of these photos SOULful?

STREET PHOTOS

000024

2FC0052FC0150000152FC008000031000022

0000102FS0062FC0322FC0292FC0312FC027000014133900082FC024Superia200000013new000025mfc200023fc200005dec036dec026dec028dec0230000310000380000250000182FS0322FS0362FC0142FC0102FC0082FC0072FC0062FC00500002388460004dec035

000007

This has been quite a journey! I don’t know what the future holds for me, but despite the unfortunate circumstances recently, I decided to continue shooting people [on cam] even if gets hard and to trust in God’s ultimate plan for me.

#FilmisNotDead #ShootThePeople For more of my photos, you can also visit my film photo blog!

2FS019

mars2

 

 

I’m being patient, am I not?

000040

I was looking for a good article to read on patience and why it is recognized as a virtue. The second one I came across online was this article on Christianity TodayIt’s pretty long and seeing that it comes in 7 pages/parts, I’m thinking of skipping the middle and just read the beginning and the end. Ooops! You’re probably going to think, why the heck am I even writing an entry on patience then?

Well, you’ll know. Just be patient. 😛

I like how they defined patience. It says that patience is enduring discomfort without complaint. Easy enough, but I reckon, it takes a lot of that endurance and self control/discipline to ever be patient in this lifetime.

Then they enumerated 3 types of impatience or patience, whichever way you want to look at it:

  1. when facing a nuisance
  2. when bored
  3. when facing great difficulty (physically or psychologically)
  4. when waiting for something important to come or simply waiting for something to happen

The fourth one, I thought I’d add because there are things we’re impatient about that don’t necessarily fall in any of the first 3 categories.

So lately, I’ve been really observing and trying to see how I’ve been or not been patient in certain circumstances in my life. I’ve been dealing with all 4 types (of things that make me go oh crazy impatient) every day, and sometimes, it bugs me when I or the people around me just lose it. I really hate it when my father loses patience when driving, but who can blame him when traffic has become a major, major issue in the metro today, and that’s even way before Christmas season came.

Then there’s the fact that I see life as a race and it doesn’t help that I often feel tired thinking and waiting for something to happen in my life, when I obviously am not doing anything about it. I also have been praying for something for the longest time now and I don’t know if God will ever grant it. So, you see, my patience has been tested countless times. There are even things I won’t even tell people and sometimes, it hurts to think that we can’t always get what we want, but knowing that something else must probably have been laid for us makes me hopeful still.

So apart from the really petty things like waiting for an online seller or a resort staff to respond (which can be completely irritating and terrifying at the same time) to my inquiries and requests for updates, there are far scarier and greater things I often lose patience with.

One thing I learned from all of these is that although, it may take great self-control for you to not lose yourself in all the things you’ve been waiting or praying for, it also helps (a lot) that you never lose sight of God and your faith, and to not blame or question God no matter what, because in the end, you’ll realize that through all the pain and trials, He never let go of your hand, not once, not even when you thought He did. I can attest to that!

I know this may be more than just about patience but I’d like to believe how it correlates to faith. I know I’m not the person to speak of these things, but in my own sufferings, I’ve learned to wait with great endurance and with better faith (I think) and to appreciate that God’s timing is truly the right timing.

P.S. After a whole lot of waiting (and a bit of prodding, if you can call it that) and of course with teeny bit of panic, I have heard back from the seller and the resort staff. It wasn’t the best and smoothest transactions I’ve dealt with, but I couldn’t thank God for never making me lose temper. I could easily have thrown ^#$%@^&@ at them, but they did get back to me and I’m thankful for that. I guess, it never hurts to always wait a few more before really losing it and I was really hoping I don’t ruin it for everyone in my family, so I had to take an extra dose of patience.

So do all of these make sense? Did I get the answer I was looking for? Do I see patience as a virtue? Well, thinking about it, in a way, patience makes people see life in a better way, which in turn makes them do good things, at least from my point of view.

“Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” – Psalm 37:4