How to Love (a birthday tribute)

I’m not sure what title to put in up there yet. Usually, I’d think of a title first and work my way through the whole entry, but I can’t quite name the post yet.

I could just write B’s name. That would work too since this is all going to be about him.

You see, I have written so much about him in the past 4 or 5 years (I was writing about him long before we got together) and that’s just because he’s only been a huge part of my life. So big, that if you read all the entries tagged under B or Bri or boyfriend, you’ll know how much and why I am so in love with him.

Today, he just turned another year older. Fun fact: he’s 3 years younger than me for a little more than a month, and 2 years younger than me for the rest of the year. haha! I secretly feel excited me when his birthday comes up coz it only means one thing, I’ll only be 2 years older than him, at least for the next 10 months!

The age gap between us has been my biggest concern, not so long ago. I would have totally turned him down if it wasn’t for the fact the he was so persistent and sincere. So yes, those were what made me fall for him (plus a whole lot more of surprises down the road).

 

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So is there anything else I haven’t told the world yet about him?

Well, maybe. Last night, we went out on a simple date to celebrate his birthday and something happened that really moved my cold, rock hard heart.

Well, we actually went on several dates this week, to start off the year right. I want to document everything here, so…

  • Monday, 4 January: He went with me to do some personal errands for myself, like shopping at the Common Room in Katips before having lunch at Hot Star Chicken, went to Fujifilm Sto. Domingo to have my 6 rolls of film developed, passed by Sto. Domingo church and had a short photoshoot, paid for the art e-course at BPI, had ELAR’s lechon for dinner before going home
  • Tuesday, 5 January: He wanted to go with me and get my films back so he did after I got out of the office, passed by Sto. Domingo church again, then had dinner at The Dimsum Place, had coffee and tea before going home
  • Wednesday, 6 January: Had a Skype date 🙂
  • Thursday, 7 January: Went around Cubao, had dinner at our favorite Japanese restaurant, Tonkatsu Taka, had tea along Manhattan Parkview before finally parting ways
  • Friday, 8 January: Had dinner at El Pollo Loco, then had coffee at this quiet nook which I forgot the name of, in building A of Mega before finally parting ways along Edsa Central

So here’s the thing, almost all the time, he makes sure he sees me off all the way to the tricycle terminal near my house before he goes on another 2-3 hour ride back home. If that isn’t heartbreaking enough, he has to ride 3 different buses to get home, along with hundreds of commuters late at night.

I never wanted for him to do that for me (at least not anymore), but he insists on doing so because he just wants to make sure I get home safe and sound, but it’s never the same for me. I end up worrying when he doesn’t get back to Cubao in time to catch the last bus ride home, or when we gets home so late at night.

So last night, when we went our separate ways in Edsa Central. I taught him where to get on a bus to Cubao. He didn’t have to take me home since I was going home with my parents. This puts me more at ease because he doesn’t have to go all the way to my house and it’s much easier for him to get home.

Normally, when we’re around the Ortigas area, we can’t be seen together (for the same reason why he still hasn’t met my parents). So we usually go our separate ways as if we’re total strangers. I’m unfair I know.

We had a fairly quick eye contact, sent him a text to go home and before I knew it, he was walking away. I was just looking at him as he disappeared into the crowd. Deep inside I wanted to go after him, but my parents were coming so I stayed. It took me a few more seconds before I decided I wanted to see him off this time. When I got to Edsa, I was shocked by how so many commuters were trying to get a ride home. At first, I thought he must have easily gotten on a bus, but I didn’t move hoping I could still find him in the middle of the crowd. I stood there asking God to let me see him before he goes home. Right after I told Him that, I saw Brianne walking just a few metres away from me. I didn’t call his attention because I didn’t want him to want to stay any longer. I wanted to see him off before my parents came, but when he failed to get on a bus, he walked back towards the sidewalk and that’s the time I went near him and called his name.

I was a bit teary eyed, but I’m glad I caught him before he got home. I couldn’t stay so I had to bid him goodbye before walking back towards our car. My parents had dinner, but the whole time I was texting Brianne, asking if he finally got on a bus. I was trying to hold back my tears because I was getting too emotional knowing that he’s out there trying to get a ride home, while I was comfortably sitting inside Yellow Cab with my parents.

Good thing, I got his text right before we went home that he was finally on his 2nd bus ride home (he only had to take 2 buses since he was already along Edsa). I finally felt so relieved.

On our way home, we were just texting each other super mushy stuff and I couldn’t help but realize how much he goes through just to be able to be with me. And he’s been doing that for the past 4-5 years!

While I’m reliving last night, which seemed like a scene taken straight out of a movie (kulang na lang ulan eh), and typing it everything in here, my tear ducts started to water again. I’m just so overwhelmed with happiness and guilt and love that I feel like the I really am the luckiest girl on earth.

I could only sigh at the fact that I love Brianne so much. I wanted so bad to be a better person for him and for us. He deserves so much more than our petty quarrels and my stubbornness so I’m really working hard to better myself this year, for him and for the people I love the most.

Thank you Brianne and thank you God for making me realize all these.

So that’s it. It got a bit longer than expected, but I just wanted the world to know how lucky I am to have this guy here in my life…

I love you Brianne, for everything that you are and have become. Just so you know, I love you so much more now than I ever have.

I once read that your spouse should be your best friend. I agree with that and it took me a few years before I realized how true it should be. You wouldn’t want to be living with someone you don’t want to connect with, or bond with or be best friends with. Otherwise, life wouldn’t be as good as it should be.

I’m not married to Bri (yet), but I would like to be, someday; and for the rest of our lives, I want us to remain best friends, apart from being overly weird and corny lovers. I want us to remain strong, to be friends even long after we get married and grow old. I want to keep this relationship for a really long time, if not forever.

I love you, B, even if I always say that I don’t really know how to love.

If I am doing it wrong, for sure, I’ll learn how to, with your hand intertwined with mine, of course.

Happy birthday again, my love, my favorite person, singer and 2nd favorite model in the world.

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Life Lately: Bumming Around

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Not that anyone else cares, but here’s what I’ve been up to lately…

I’ve filed for a 2-day leave this week and boy it was…not enough. I have to say it went too fast and now, I only have about 31 hours before I wake up and go to work again. How dramatic. Typical me.

I also went on a date with B twice. The first was last Wednesday, when he picked me up after work. It was so much fun. I’ll always remember that day as the first time I’ve laughed heartily in weeks (not including crazy, silly days with my family). The second date was just yesterday, which wasn’t as crazy as Wednesday’s but equally special, nonetheless. We were supposed to go everywhere, but ended up just chilling at a nearby mall, our favorite mall, actually (just like the old times when he’d pick me up from home or from the hospital). We went to see the Martian (coz I’m a Martian myself :P), which kept me on the edge of my seat and made me squeeze his arms and hands (yes, both hands) a couple of times.

I also baked soft chocolate chip cookies for B and his family (his personal request when I asked what he wanted me to cook or bake for him) and these chewy revel bars we’ve (B, my sister and manang) been eating the past days. Yes, I also let B try it and even though I might have flooded the whole thing with chocolate on top, it still turned out to be the revel bar I always wanted, chocolatey and chewy! Thanks B and family for being the best fans of my baked goodies! This is actually why we were ROFL last Wednesday.

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A post shared by M A R S M E D I N A (@marsymallows) on

I also posted several feetfies I’ve taken in the past year on film and uploaded them on my lomo wall (or whatever it’s called) and got about a hundred likes! I never thought I’ve accumulated so many, so I decided to put everything together and now, it’s my most liked album in there. That’s one big feat for me as I did not expect people to really appreciate #feetfies like I do.

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I also got a hair dryer through Lazada and it was delivered last Thursday, which was a good thing since I was at home. I really commend Lazada for not only getting me the dryer way ahead of the expected date of delivery, but also for giving me several updates on the status of my order through SMS and email. This was my first time and I have to say, I’m impressed! Good job!

So there, that’s the end of it! I’m looking forward to more chill days like this 2-day staycation, to making my own pandesal and Nanaimo bars (keeping fingers crossed), to getting my very own Daykeeper 2016 and to lots of scary features on TV because it’s that time of the year again, when Heidi Klum dresses incredibly to impress! Yay! Those should distract me from all these crazy introversion-ish thoughts I have! Yes, I now officially admit that I’m an introvert and I’m pretty content with that. More on that soon!

Ciao! I’ll finish this cooled cold jasmine green tea now!

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Goodnight!

The Sunday Currently, Volume 10

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I remember taking this photo as quietly and stealthily as I can
C U R R E N T L Y . . .
R E A D I N G  Regina Brett’s “God is Always Hiring” – I have to say, this book really has so many lessons to impart. I’m glad I was able to finally buy a copy during the 10-day National Bookstore Sale!
W R I T I N G  I haven’t written anything for a long time. Last time I did was probably a week ago and it was on my journal! Yay!
L I S T E N I N G  to Sunday Morning Playlists on 8tracks! Of course! (New songs I liked today were: Leonardo Agusto’s Willow Tree March and Benjamin Francis Leftwich’ Atlas Hands and this upbeat Jayme Dee’s Tip Toes)
T H I N K I N G  of buying this Yashicaflex TLR online. Huhu! This one’s pretty cheap for a TLR.
S M E L L I N G  Mother’s cooking breakfast, so that means I have to hurry! I have yet to edit a photo for this!
W I S H I N G  I could think of a really good business investment!
W E A R I N G  Shiny purple shorts (which I love wearing!) and a black tank top
L O V I N G  the fact that my tito’s cxr turned out to be negative for Pneumonia! I also love looking at our travel photos on FB. It has been a while since I last looked at them. I should really download them, right?
W A N T I N G  to get my hands on my Daykeeper 2016! I can’t wait!!! Finally, I got my very own copy!
N E E D I N G  to go on a photowalk!!!!
F E E L I N G  okay. I have to say, I’m starting to feel okay with everything. I really have to be more content with what I have. 🙂

Fresh Film Fail!

I wasn’t too excited scanning my own negatives, knowing for a fact that my scanner doesn’t exactly yield film photos as good as what its high-end counterparts do. However, there’s also this teeny-tiny bit of a reason why I chose to scan my own films, it would cost me a lot LESS. Yeah, emphasis on the less!

So being the cheapskate that I am, I took all 4 films (2 of which were taken during our weekend family trip) to one of the labs I usually go to (and used to trust too) and had them developed. It cost me a lot less than what I would’ve paid for had I let them develop and scan 3 films.

Once I got home, I scanned a strip of film, one with my mirror selfie on it and it didn’t turn out as I have expected the photos to look like. I expected a lot of grain, NBD, but what I wasn’t expecting were the dullest colors I’ve seen of photos taken with a “fresh” FUJIFILM C200 film! I couldn’t emphasize the word, “fresh” more!

I’ve had numerous, horrible experiences using expired films so I made sure I bought fresh films for our weekend trip, but I should’ve just bought expired films. Now I know how Aia felt when she got a bunch of poorly developed fresh films back from the lab.

I’ve been going to Picture City in Farmers Plaza to get my films developed (even though I purchased a Fuji privilege card already) and I trusted the same guy who has developed my films over a couple of times to get the job done right as usual, but it looks like he and his partner bit off more than they can chew, having too many customers that night.

Now with a cheap scanner to digitize my poorly developed film negatives, I couldn’t be more impatient in editing them all. How I wish I could still do something about these photos. For now, this was all I could do.

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What it means to be Creative?

I’ve always been drawn to everything handmade or personalized and that strong penchant for such things dates back to my late grade school years to early high school, I think.

We had a couple of home economics and art projects that I admit, up until now, I’d love to do again. There was a project that made us use these gold leaves that I absolutely loved, then there’s the pots that we painted, boxes that we covered with sand and a miniature tallboy that we had to decorate with wood-finish stickers. Every bit of project made my heart skip a beat, though I admit, I’m the type who doesn’t feel the need to make every masterpiece perfect, so I never did. That’s just an excuse to make myself feel better about my not so beautiful creations, but I’m still proud of those. 😛

Fast forward to the present day, that strong passion to make butingting and kalikot, to make things out of scrap or to create something that was inspired by another’s work of art or a happy memory or feeling has definitely become a favorite hobby and a way to release tension and even combat stress. I find it very therapeutic and relaxing and it helps keep the creative juice flowing!

I think that it also helps that when I want something, but can’t afford to buy it, I try as much as I could to create it. I’m a master DIYer (right) and an expert improviser (cool, there is such a word!) and there’s nothing in the world that little research on the internet can’t fix nowadays.

When I had the craziest craving for everything red velvet, I baked cupcakes and crinkles myself. When I wanted food, I find everything that I could put into the pan to cook it. When I saw creative wall art on pinterest or tumblr, I bought the cheapest materials I could find and voila, out came my imperfect but still lovely pieces of art on my so-called Wall of Weird!

Here are some of the things I’ve created so far. Some have been collaborations with my sister and mother (I don’t know how to use a sewing machine beacuse I’m too scared to use one actually).

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Craved bread with tomatoes, cheese and basil (fresh from our graden-naks!)

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I think this was the time when I made pancakes from scratch, no pre-made commercial mixes, and it turned out to be very simple and easy to do! I even tossed in some long-time stored choco-chips to make the morning sweeter!

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I’ve always loved my tita’s baked macaroni and I also loved how she used to baked them in these leche flan containers. feeling reminiscent of this lovely childhood memory, I made baked macaroni one time and I just added all the cheese we had at home (I think there were 4 types in there) and then topping them with nestle cream! Manang (who’s a bit choosy when it comes to food) actually liked it and I know it because she helped herself to a couple more servings after her first.

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We always make our own flowers for All Saints’ Day. This might be my least favorite thing to do, thus the eye-catching arrangement!

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I’m so in love with artworks inspired by the outer space. I wanted to make another piece with my zodiac sign on it, but I had only one canvas, so I put these two together. I think I also saw this idea of sticking in christmas/fairy lights into a painting on pinterest, thus the latest masterpiece I have at home.

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My sister and I loved kimono cardigans and when she found an easy tutorial online, we used the lovely fabrics we hoarded from divisoria to make a bunch of them.

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Here’s the first one we made and on the picture below is another one we made. My sister cut the fabric while Mama sewed them together.

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But before we made those kimonos, I cut a small piece from the fabric above to make myself my own camera strap. I couldn’t be more stingy and didn’t want to buy a real camera strap yet, so I made myself one instead. I just had to make it stiffer and stronger by adding a canvas fabric inside.

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Thank goodness for light leaks, otherwise, you could have seen how messy the ends of the strap turned out.

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another one of my breakfast creations using sexy chix Arabiata (yep this was way before Jasmine Curtis’ tvc came out). I topped it with basil (also fresh from the garden) for a fancy presentation.

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I think I just saw the movie, The Fault in our Stars which made me paint the iconic book cover a couple of times! It was also the time when I was doing some general cleaning in my room that I found my father’s lost watercolors. I knew I couldn’t hold back my excitement then so I just haphazardly finished cleaning just to stare at them.

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I also painted the TFIOS book cover on a small canvas that has now been put up on my Wall of Weird ever since.

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One of the latest projects I did was my own dreamcatcher. As usual, it looked weird because I added a small burlap ring in the middle of it to make it a bit different than the normal one. I bought the ring and feathers from this seamstress haven in farmers mall and the burlap and jute strings in my favorite place in the world, divisoria. 🙂

So what does it mean to be creative? Are those with talent the only ones whom we can truly call creative? Where and how does creativity emerge?

For me, creativity is part of human nature. Our earliest ancestors have been creating shelter, clothing and food (preparing food) from basic materials ever since they first walked the earth. Up until now, centuries after, people are still creating something new, mostly to make life easier, some for pleasure and others for artistic expression.

To create also means to undergo a process wherein certain factors such as passion and inspiration are both needed. So talent may be optional, as far I can see. Sadly though, people may find it confusing to differentiate between inspiration and copying when they create. I read an entry about this yesterday on GooglyGooeys and I was a bit scared that my so-called creativity is just a product of “copying off someone else’s work” especially those whom I idolize a lot. Good thing, after some thorough self-analysis and self-denial (LOL), it turns out that I may not be a copycat after all since I do have my own style, my own, weird ideas and concepts that pop up in mind upon seeing and appreciating other people’s work.

Lastly, as Ponggo pointed out, “Creativity is doing something everyone else is doing but in a new way” (Alex Alata). 🙂