Life Lately / 11

I woke up at 4:18am today and I don’t remember going back to sleep.

At 5:30am, just before sunrise, I went out to get some air, although a bit hesitant because of the cold.

Still, I sat outside in darkness and prayed.

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I’m getting anxious again for I know that in a few days, I’ll be getting on a roller coaster ride, I don’t even know if I’ll survive.

Then I talked to Him, like I always do–as if talking to a friend. I told him how much I want to be a photographer someday and I’ll do what it takes to get there.

I told Him even if He already knew that I recently spoke with someone who’s passionate about photography too and how in a way, that shook me out of a long slumber. I was wakened by his eagerness and enthusiasm. I was inspired to follow my own dreams just as he is.

For a moment, I was envious of him for he’s young yet he knows what he wants and he works hard to get it. For a moment, I wanted to go back in time and wish I could have been braver to do the same.

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I wish I could have figured this out sooner.

But regrets are useless to dwell upon. I value more the opportune chance I was given to clear my head and to see what remains constant and that is my dream. That is my heart’s desire.

I’m glad He allowed this to happen so I could see that this dream is within reach. I’m glad He helped me make up my mind and know for sure within the depths of my mind, heart and soul that this is what I truly want. I hope that this is what He wants for me as well.

I promise, that it will all be for Your glory.

Thank You for the subtle nudges You make. Thank You for sending angels time and time again.

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And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters”

– Colossians 3:17, 23

 

Wine Wednesday 🍷

 

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Yesterday, I was feeling a lot bluer than usual but God is so good, He sends angels just when we need them the most.

I was blabbering incessantly to my friends, Jan and Nikki on Messenger all morning because I honestly felt like both my brain and heart are going to explode about the same old shit-uation I keep pulling myself back into.

I just happen to be so blessed with friends who have the wisest advice and the patience of this guy

to which I am most thankful for. They talk me back to sanity when I think I’m gonna lose it.

Remember the saying “Friends are angels in disguise“? This is definitely just one of the moments when I truly felt it manifest. Most of the time, I find it hard to listen to God’s answers to my prayers, so I’d like to believe that this is one way of Him getting through to me, by way of my friends’ kind and ever understanding hearts.

In the middle of our conversation, Jan suddenly thought of of dropping by our house, being almost free from corporate slavery herself. So she did and I was very happy that I got to talk to her over late lunch, wine and dinner.

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I like how sometimes, we both want just to hang out and have real, good, private conversations where we can just lie down and actually hear ourselves rather than fighting ourselves through crowded malls or places of some sort.

I barely go out with my friends anymore, so I’m glad that despite such hiatus, I’m still able to talk to them as if we’ve never parted. We never really hung out as often as we used to after graduating high school yet just like everyone else, our friendship remained the same. We still get to talk about the littlest and silliest things in between mounds of our adult problems.

Perfect example was just last night when we tried to name our grade school and high school teachers as well as some of the mild controversies they were associated with that we now find funny. We remembered some teachers and batch mates that have gone ahead. We even got emotional and teary-eyed over one of Karel Marquez and now hubby’s very smart pre-nup videos (thanks to Jan for letting me watch it!).

Late into the afternoon, we decided to finish a previously popped open wine. Let’s just say that we didn’t exactly have the fanciest experience, but the wine still worked its magic just fine to make us all woozy and giggly.

Here’s Jan seemingly back to junior year, Chemistry class. Apparently, we had to filter out the disintegrating cork out of our drinks and voila! Nothing a strainer and kitchen towel can’t fix!

And yes, we also had to improvise a wine ice bucket to cool the thing. 😛

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But all’s well that ends well…

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Nothing like a good laugh and real conversation with one of my oldest friends on a rainy, Wednesday night. My kind of chill.

Of course, we had to cap the night off talking to a rude and short-tempered Uber driver, but just the same, it turned out to be a perfectly good night, that should hopefully last me til I see them again.

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