Life Lately: Keeping the Flame Alive

LL

I’ve been spending more time reading, the past couple of days or make that weeks, actually. It has come to the point where I’d rather read what other people have to say than get what I have brewing in my own mind out there.

I read these amazing essays and articles all the time, and I get overwhelmed by my own stirred up thoughts and emotions, so obviously, I do want to get those out too, but when I try to write them down, they all just suddenly disappear. Does that mean anything? I’m not sure. Did I lose motivation or inspiration to write or to even do anything? I guess. Am I too tired to even think that writing is therapeutic and that it can actually help me wind down and just clear my head of these thoughts? Definitely not!–which is why I’m getting out of this rut and doing myself a favor by putting into words what I’ve been meaning to.

Anyway, I decided I needed to finish the 30 Day Writing Challenge, no matter how ambitious it has become for me. I also want to start on this project (also related to writing) I’ve been thinking of doing for a long time now. I wouldn’t say it won’t be something I might lose interest in doing in the long run because I have been on this road before and you know where that led to. Looking on the bright side though, if this works out, it should serve its purpose, which is to help someone who may be in dire need of I don’t know, an anonymous friend? Any clue what it might be?

I also signed up for 2 courses this week. One is a free course offered by The Nectar Collective called Social Media Superhero, which I fortunately didn’t miss on my email (otherwise I would’ve been moping in a corner by now). Feel free to join too if you’re interested to “learn how to use social media to increase your income, grow your online presence, and build a likable online brand”.

The other one will be a 4-week course created by Sofia Cope called the Open Art School (which I was glad I saw on my email as well). Tagline says “IT’S TIME TO PUT YOUR PASSION FIRST AND START SHIPPING YOUR ART (WITHOUT SELLING YOUR SOUL).”

These should be intimidating but sure as hell as fun! I can’t wait! Last time I enrolled for an art course was 2 years ago (Stefano Mirti’s Design 101) and it was similar to Sofia’s, except that it took 3 months/101 days to complete.

I may really have lost inspiration to do something about my passion so I’m working hard to get that back one step at a time. I still owe Elle Luna a lot for igniting the fire in me to get back on track in pursuing what I believe my heart, mind and soul all thirst for. So big thanks and a pat on the back for that!

Then there’s Abbey Sy, who like most accomplished artists, created a way to share and teach her passion to aspiring hand letterers by creating her own book!

There are a lot more artists I really look up to like the lovely Googley Gooeys, the creative The Postman’s Knock, the inspiring Aida Azlin and Susannah Conway, the analogue ladies Katie and April, the hardworking Jim Black and the rest of them who have continued to support and inspire fellow artists through their work and passion.

I should write a separate entry for all of them as these words are not enough to acknowledge the hard work they do for their followers. They all deserve recognition for what they have done. Cheers! 🙂

It’s been 4-5 hours since I started writing this and I can’t say I didn’t miss this because I did! I’m so glad I still have so much to be thankful for despite having lost a lot. I’m terribly lost in life, but I’m glad I still get to find my way back every time I trudge a little further away from the path leading to where I need and want to be.

I’m also glad I have finally written something after so long!

I was watching the movie “The River Wild” starring Merryl Streep and Kevin Bacon and I remember watching this when I was younger than half my age now and I also did not forget how it felt as intense as it was when I saw it again earlier this afternoon. It was such an incredible, fist-clenching, teeth-gritting, old school film that I’m glad I’ve seen and would be happy to watch over and over again in the future. It was exciting as it was inspiring. I love good, old movies with stories that bring back broken families together.

Speaking of inspiring, I’d like to share something I read this morning that I couldn’t shake off my mind. It was from MEDIUM, written by Nic Haralambous:

“How do you know what you want to do if you don’t know what’s out there to do?”

I don’t know how this could work for me as I’ve never been anywhere out of my comfort zone in a long time, but I’m hoping it is the answer to what I’ve been looking for. I’m hoping I could go out into the world by myself and see how it could bring out the best in me and what I really want to do in life. #soulsearching 🙂

So that’s what I’ve been up to lately. Not that you care, I know, but I’m #justsaying.

P.S. I found it funny how Saab used one too many hashtags on an entry and I thought it’s actually a good idea, being a fan of OA hashtags myself. Ktnxbye!

30 Day Writing Challenge: DAY 19

Discuss Your First Love.

000024

This has got to be one of the most special entries I have yet to write about. I’m not sure whether to share how I met my first love or how we are now because a few clicks on the tags “B” or “Bri” or “boyfriend” will put the pieces of our story together. I have written so much about him since we’ve met and I don’t know what else to say now.

I have to say though, my first love is definitely an angel sent to me from above. I can’t forget how he always gave me butterflies in my stomach, the kind that made me feel nervous but happy inside. He made me feel like I was someone special when I’ve never even thought of myself as such before. I know how our parents make us feel loved and cared for, but this is different. It was a feeling I never even imagined I could have.

Did I say that he also has the most wonderful voice I have ever heard from among those who I know personally? When he speaks, you’d definitely gush at his manly, proper and calming voice, but when he sings, you might as well just pour a bucket of ice cold water on yourself and don’t say I didn’t warn you! You’d be swept off your feet in an instant and I’m not even exaggerating on this. His voice alone is so damn hot!

Since we’re on the topic, let me just say a few more things about how hot he is. You see, he’s the mysterious and the quiet type. He’s tall and handsome and the way he stares at me makes me melt like crazy. He’s a complete package, to tell you the truth and he’s definitely my type.

Part of this “complete package” I’m talking about is the fact that he’s more than just another guy who’s looking to hook up. Over time I felt our relationship deepened from a simple attraction to what I have come to learn as love. He has become not only my partner-in-crime but also my best friend. He knows everything about me—-my past, my insecurities, my problems, my fears, my imperfections, but those didn’t turn him off. He accepted me for who I am despite all the revelations and seeing the worst version of me.

Today, as I write this, I’m happy to say that I am still so much in love with him. It has been 4 years since we’ve met and even though our story doesn’t depict the perfect relationship we’ve always wanted, I know that I’ve found the perfect first love in him.

He’s my first and I definitely won’t mind if he also becomes my last. 🙂

000039

The Sunday Currently, Volume 7

tsc7

R E A D I N G
this self-help book by Francis Kong called “Being the Best You Can Ever Be“, which my parents brought home from their conference. Yes, there’s still hope for me and yep, I’ve always liked this person, mainly for being able to “move mountains” by way of his words and probably (or most definitely) faith too! I’ve been in one of his talks back in college so I know why he has been in demand over the years.

W R I T I N G
Nothing for today except this entry and another one for the 30 day writing challenge!

L I S T E N I N G
to a lot of Gospel and Worship songs on 8tracks. I was supposed to just listen to “Still” by Hillsong United on repeat mode but I might end up “turning on the waterworks” again like I did in church this morning when the choir sang this during the Holy Communion!

T H I N K I N G
of how happy I am today…

of how good our God is, being able to forgive endlessly…

and how lucky I am to have my family.

I’m content and I’m good, I’m good, I’m good, I’m good! 😛

I’m also thinking about tomorrow and how I’ll turn my zombie mode on again. Uuuugghhh!

S M E L L I N G
my father smoking cigarettes…

W I S H I N G
for the plans we made earlier today as a family to push through! I’m so looking forward to this!

H O P I N G
for the plans above to push through! Not to jinx it though, I really hope we could make it come true, together as a family!

W E A R I N G
my boyfriend’s shirt and comfy pair of bedroom shorts!

L O V I N G
this coding guide/suggestions I found on tumblr written by Devon Meyer. I won’t ever be patient enough to learn about dev stuff, but I can probably make time to study the basics and see where that can lead to… Is this really me, speaking…errr typing?

W A N T I N G
more VLs!!!!!

N E E D I N G
to learn more about make up, to make the next 5 months more productive and to just enjoy life as it is!

F E E L I N G
anxious, sad, happy, crazy and sleepy. I ain’t ready to go back to work yet! Can I have one more day off please??!?!

C L I C K I N G
on my 4th Buzzfeed’s Books Newsletter since I signed up back in June! I have to say that it made me want to get a copy of and read: Jane Eyre (I haven’t been interested since I’ve seen the movie, Definitely, Maybe), The Kite Runner, Great Expectations (not a fan of classic novels, but I’m really having great expectations this time!–no pun intended), The Boy in the Striped Pajamas (even though I completely abhor anything that has to do with the holocaust), Mansfield Park (I know right?) and The Virgin Suicides (and maybe watch the movie after too!) and Tiger Eyes (this one, I have a feeling that I’ll only want to watch the movie rather than read the book).

Fresh Film Fail!

I wasn’t too excited scanning my own negatives, knowing for a fact that my scanner doesn’t exactly yield film photos as good as what its high-end counterparts do. However, there’s also this teeny-tiny bit of a reason why I chose to scan my own films, it would cost me a lot LESS. Yeah, emphasis on the less!

So being the cheapskate that I am, I took all 4 films (2 of which were taken during our weekend family trip) to one of the labs I usually go to (and used to trust too) and had them developed. It cost me a lot less than what I would’ve paid for had I let them develop and scan 3 films.

Once I got home, I scanned a strip of film, one with my mirror selfie on it and it didn’t turn out as I have expected the photos to look like. I expected a lot of grain, NBD, but what I wasn’t expecting were the dullest colors I’ve seen of photos taken with a “fresh” FUJIFILM C200 film! I couldn’t emphasize the word, “fresh” more!

I’ve had numerous, horrible experiences using expired films so I made sure I bought fresh films for our weekend trip, but I should’ve just bought expired films. Now I know how Aia felt when she got a bunch of poorly developed fresh films back from the lab.

I’ve been going to Picture City in Farmers Plaza to get my films developed (even though I purchased a Fuji privilege card already) and I trusted the same guy who has developed my films over a couple of times to get the job done right as usual, but it looks like he and his partner bit off more than they can chew, having too many customers that night.

Now with a cheap scanner to digitize my poorly developed film negatives, I couldn’t be more impatient in editing them all. How I wish I could still do something about these photos. For now, this was all I could do.

PIC20150623190134

PIC20150623190151

PIC20150623190353

PIC20150623190427

PIC20150623191257

PIC20150623191518

PIC20150623191618

The Sunday Currently, Volume 3

sc2

R E A D I N G
on how to grow Zinnias and other flowering plants in the Philippines. I’m glad I found a Filipina blogger who bought the exact brand of seeds and soil mixture I got earlier! I’m really excited about this! 🙂

W R I T I N G
labels on the pots of my new babies 🙂

L I S T E N I N G
to One Direction’s “Cloud” which is included in this “HAPPINESS” playlist!

T H I N K I N G
of what to do with my life! Yes I’m still in that stage. I’ll probably be thinking of the same thing in the next few weeks so I’ll probably won’t include this on my next lists. I’m thinking of finally enrolling in a photography school (the one where my father goes to for seminars) and take up (what else?) Photography and maybe some graphic designing as well. I’m also thinking of a few trips we’re planning in the next few months. I can’t wait!

S M E L L I N G
Nothing.

W I S H I N G
for peace of mind and for more beautiful things to come in the future!

H O P I N G
to get back to planning for the remaining months of this year. I would really need to get back on track and to save, save, save more for some of the things I am currently brewing up in my mind! I’m getting more excited so I need to be more energized in order to put all these plans into action.

W E A R I N G
a pair of leggings and comfy shirt for my workout right after publishing this!!

L O V I N G
the milder weather the past days! Thank God for the rainy afternoons and the much cooler nights! And also BBC1’s and Capital FM’s concept of making artists cover other artists’ songs!

W A N T I N G
to book this trip so I could get my hands on films, cameras and art materials! Please Lord! Make this happen! Please? And also this incredibly refreshing and addicting wheatgrass juice in Antipolo!!!!!

N E E D I N G
more time to exercise, to bake that humongous near-expiry chocolate mix my tita gave us, to catch up on some online courses and to sleep!!!!

F E E L I N G
hopeful and content! 🙂

C L I C K I N G
on this Stuck In Love Soundtrack. Maybe I should watch the movie too!