Life Lately / 11

I wasn’t going to say something until maybe after the training is over and done with. It’s not like I’m scared of jinxing anything now, because, you know, I’m YOLO-ing all over again plus, I’m surrendering it all to the Big Guy up there, but I guess I just really can’t find the time at the moment to actually lay it all out and spill the deets on this great, big turn my life has taken.

So I’m back in college or at least it feels like it, except that this time, we’re taking a crash course on what some of us have studied for a semester or two all in just about 2 weeks or so. For the past weeks, my co-trainees and I have been getting about 3-4 hours of sleep on a daily basis to pull off the pre-tests, post tests, learning checks and discussions also on a daily basis. I thought I was done with this stuff when I graduated 5 years ago, but I guess that was just a pretty dream that I now have to put behind me.

So that pretty sums up the last 2 weeks, not to mention the added physical training aka walking in heels with a big bag of weights in tow everywhere we go, which is actually a mental training in disguise (coz’ it’s all in the mind and when there’s no pain, none will be gained, ain’t that right?).

Had I known I was in for a treat like this, I would have taken off to outer space or as far as I could in seconds! Juuuuust kidding! So there, so far, I failed 1 exam which bums me out big time because I know for a fact that I have written enough info on those essays (YES, YOU READ IT RIGHT, ESSAYS) to get me at least a passing rate, but I didn’t. Plus, I was trying hard to keep my grades up, now that 75 is just going to pull down my first 2 90+ test grades. That sucks and to think that I’ve never been this grade conscious in my life!

I knew though that this wasn’t going to be easy so I had to reevaluate my self, my life and my faith in order to get going. I know that there would always be tough days, days when all I could do is cry and pray hopelessly and times when I could just do this all day long:

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But I also know and believe that there’d be days when I could genuinely feel as if I’m not constipated and heavy at all! LOL! I’ll be light as a feather and I could leap into the heavens, saying I survived!

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Until then, I’m going to have to take studying even more seriously. Gone are the days when I could just slack off, add more weight to my belly and watch movies and blog all day.

Though I have to say, I missed writing a lot. I missed this! I still have a long way to go on my Trip Down Memory Lane series, but hopefully, I could squeeze in time to complete that by midyear.

That’s it for now! I’ll leave you be!

P.S. I made a little somethin’ somethin’! It’s one of my stress busters! Thank God for Art and Photography!

 

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Life Lately / 11

I woke up at 4:18am today and I don’t remember going back to sleep.

At 5:30am, just before sunrise, I went out to get some air, although a bit hesitant because of the cold.

Still, I sat outside in darkness and prayed.

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I’m getting anxious again for I know that in a few days, I’ll be getting on a roller coaster ride, I don’t even know if I’ll survive.

Then I talked to Him, like I always do–as if talking to a friend. I told him how much I want to be a photographer someday and I’ll do what it takes to get there.

I told Him even if He already knew that I recently spoke with someone who’s passionate about photography too and how in a way, that shook me out of a long slumber. I was wakened by his eagerness and enthusiasm. I was inspired to follow my own dreams just as he is.

For a moment, I was envious of him for he’s young yet he knows what he wants and he works hard to get it. For a moment, I wanted to go back in time and wish I could have been braver to do the same.

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I wish I could have figured this out sooner.

But regrets are useless to dwell upon. I value more the opportune chance I was given to clear my head and to see what remains constant and that is my dream. That is my heart’s desire.

I’m glad He allowed this to happen so I could see that this dream is within reach. I’m glad He helped me make up my mind and know for sure within the depths of my mind, heart and soul that this is what I truly want. I hope that this is what He wants for me as well.

I promise, that it will all be for Your glory.

Thank You for the subtle nudges You make. Thank You for sending angels time and time again.

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And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters”

– Colossians 3:17, 23

 

The Sunday Currently, Volume 10

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I remember taking this photo as quietly and stealthily as I can
C U R R E N T L Y . . .
R E A D I N G  Regina Brett’s “God is Always Hiring” – I have to say, this book really has so many lessons to impart. I’m glad I was able to finally buy a copy during the 10-day National Bookstore Sale!
W R I T I N G  I haven’t written anything for a long time. Last time I did was probably a week ago and it was on my journal! Yay!
L I S T E N I N G  to Sunday Morning Playlists on 8tracks! Of course! (New songs I liked today were: Leonardo Agusto’s Willow Tree March and Benjamin Francis Leftwich’ Atlas Hands and this upbeat Jayme Dee’s Tip Toes)
T H I N K I N G  of buying this Yashicaflex TLR online. Huhu! This one’s pretty cheap for a TLR.
S M E L L I N G  Mother’s cooking breakfast, so that means I have to hurry! I have yet to edit a photo for this!
W I S H I N G  I could think of a really good business investment!
W E A R I N G  Shiny purple shorts (which I love wearing!) and a black tank top
L O V I N G  the fact that my tito’s cxr turned out to be negative for Pneumonia! I also love looking at our travel photos on FB. It has been a while since I last looked at them. I should really download them, right?
W A N T I N G  to get my hands on my Daykeeper 2016! I can’t wait!!! Finally, I got my very own copy!
N E E D I N G  to go on a photowalk!!!!
F E E L I N G  okay. I have to say, I’m starting to feel okay with everything. I really have to be more content with what I have. 🙂

The Sunday Currently, Volume 7

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R E A D I N G
I’m on the last few pages of my Elle Luna book, “The Crossroads of Should and Must” and I’m trying my best not to finish it yet, but I’m looking forward to buying another inspirational book, this time by Regina Brett.

I’ve also been doing a lot of reading, thanks to MEDIUM.COM and to Elle Luna. I have bookmarked and recommended a lot of articles and so far, my favorite is still this one. Medium has thought me to read more. Of course, there are similar sites like Buzzfeed and ThoughCatalog, but lately, I felt like Medium has definitely stolen my heart and also, has blown my mind.

W R I T I N G
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I slept late in the afternoon yesterday and woke up at 10pm last night, so here I was doing stuff at 2 in the morning. 😛

L I S T E N I N G
I was singing The Beatles‘ “In My Life” and I was thinking, “Has any girl made a cover of this song yet?”. I went straight to 8tracks to look for covers and I found this instead, a whole playlist of Beatles covers and I couldn’t be happier!

I especially love “Two of Us” and “Golden Slumbers, Carry that Weight, The End” because I haven’t heard these two songs in a while, when I had been listening to them almost every day back in high school, thanks to my father!

Also listening to this Beatles + Disney Songs mashup playlist 😛

T H I N K I N G
carefully of what to purchase from The Craft Central! I’m drooling over so many things, but I’m doing this new thing of not hoarding too many stuff for now. While I’m on the topic of “not” hoarding, I’m also thinking of finally getting a pack of Quinoa, Chia seeds and Republic of Tea’s Get Gorgeous Tea since I’m about to run out of the Yogi Tea I bought last week!

I’m also thinking about the insurance plan sent by my friend yesterday. Looks like I’m finally doing this!

S M E L L I N G
nothing.

W I S H I N G
I could start doing what I must do instead of doing what I should do. #choosemust

All the best for my family, and loved ones especially for my lola!

H O P I N G
for brighter days in the next couple of months!

W E A R I N G
my boyfriend’s shirt, again! It’s my favorite shirt to wear at home and my favorite pair of shorts! – Was this the same thing I was wearing on my TSC6? haha!

L O V I N G
medium.com, Elle Luna, watercolor calligraphy, my Olympus photos (even though 60% of them were out of focus) and my mama’s Laing

W A N T I N G
Regina Brett‘s books and water brushes, Republic of Tea‘s Get Gorgeous Tea!

N E E D I N G
more time spent reading and practicing my hobbies!

F E E L I N G
even more awake than ever at 4 in the morning!

C L I C K I N G
on MLL 🙂 I’m thinking of doing this soon! I’m ready to make my own envelopes again!

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30 Day Writing Challenge: DAY 19

Discuss Your First Love.

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This has got to be one of the most special entries I have yet to write about. I’m not sure whether to share how I met my first love or how we are now because a few clicks on the tags “B” or “Bri” or “boyfriend” will put the pieces of our story together. I have written so much about him since we’ve met and I don’t know what else to say now.

I have to say though, my first love is definitely an angel sent to me from above. I can’t forget how he always gave me butterflies in my stomach, the kind that made me feel nervous but happy inside. He made me feel like I was someone special when I’ve never even thought of myself as such before. I know how our parents make us feel loved and cared for, but this is different. It was a feeling I never even imagined I could have.

Did I say that he also has the most wonderful voice I have ever heard from among those who I know personally? When he speaks, you’d definitely gush at his manly, proper and calming voice, but when he sings, you might as well just pour a bucket of ice cold water on yourself and don’t say I didn’t warn you! You’d be swept off your feet in an instant and I’m not even exaggerating on this. His voice alone is so damn hot!

Since we’re on the topic, let me just say a few more things about how hot he is. You see, he’s the mysterious and the quiet type. He’s tall and handsome and the way he stares at me makes me melt like crazy. He’s a complete package, to tell you the truth and he’s definitely my type.

Part of this “complete package” I’m talking about is the fact that he’s more than just another guy who’s looking to hook up. Over time I felt our relationship deepened from a simple attraction to what I have come to learn as love. He has become not only my partner-in-crime but also my best friend. He knows everything about me—-my past, my insecurities, my problems, my fears, my imperfections, but those didn’t turn him off. He accepted me for who I am despite all the revelations and seeing the worst version of me.

Today, as I write this, I’m happy to say that I am still so much in love with him. It has been 4 years since we’ve met and even though our story doesn’t depict the perfect relationship we’ve always wanted, I know that I’ve found the perfect first love in him.

He’s my first and I definitely won’t mind if he also becomes my last. 🙂

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