I Have a Thing for Leaves

So this nationwide quarantine has taken its toll on me. Don’t get me wrong, I love staying at home, but seeing all the sad and bad news online, it didn’t sit very well with me this time.

Last night, I was looking for more orgs to donate to as I couldn’t contain the guilt I was feeling having read the lockdown stories by Jah Rosales of the Business Mirror, forwarded to me by my friend, Jai on messenger. Apparently, he has been in the middle of the quarantine and gathering stories of those who were greatly affected by it.

One that I couldn’t forget was the story of this man, in his 60’s (if I remember it right), who walked all the way from Laguna to his home in Bulacan bec of the suspension of public transport in Metro Manila. He was burning with fever at 38.8 degrees celsius when Jah found him. Fucking terrible that the less fortunate always have to suffer.

Doing what I can to help those I can and hopeful that everyone who has money to spare, donates especially to the “no work, no pay” workers. Last night, I was literally begging friends, co-workers and my family to donate to the organizations I found online. Will share the link here too!

I am glad to hear though that some heroic souls such as Bela Padilla went out of her way to make sure the money she raised be given to those who really need them. We need more Belas in the world right now! Wish I have the influence to do the same, but every little thing goes a long way, so no effort and money is wasted!

Apart from these personal missions, our company has also been very… hmmm how should I say it, “pabibo” for lack of a more accurate term, these trying times. One of our clients even lost it and cursed the pharma bosses bec the bibo-ness caught them at a bad time. I don’t mean to offend when I say that, but my colleagues and I have been going out of our way, risking our health and safety on a daily basis to support our clients, aka the frontliners and our heroes in the battle against Covid-19. I am glad we are able to help them, but I hope and pray that we don’t catch the virus ourselves, in doing so.

Anyway, I am still glad the company I work for have been considerate and generous to support us as well especially at a time like this. Sadly, just as my friends say, difficult times also bring out the worst in people and we see that everywhere. So stay safe everyone and stay away from negativity as much as you can!

Speaking of avoiding negativity, I have been taking to twitter my dismay and disgust in all the rants, sad news and the Covid statistics that we wake up to every single day. I am tired, mentally, emotionally and psychologically so I have been meaning to take a break and paint again. I found it really effective in quieting my mind as I shut off the world around me. Glad that break finally came tonight!

I’m hoping that the title didn’t give it away too much, but I decided to paint another leaf tonight, something that I have long been thinking of painting…….a bananananana leaaaaaf!

Finally my Monsterra painting made a new friend tonight! πŸ’›πŸ’›πŸ’› Grateful for the tutorial I found online! πŸ’›πŸ’›πŸ’›

P.S. I painted this while binging on my new Netflix addiction, “The Kindness Diaries“. It’s the show that is apparently helping me move on from “Crash Landing on You“, which I have watched twice after watching it the first time. It needs a separate post btw!

Anyway, wherever you guys are reading this from, I hope that it’s in a safe and warm place! And no matter how hopeless these past days have been, it’ll all pass. I’m counting on the Big Guy up there☝🏻and on humanity!

If you guys are feeling extra generous, take time to check out the whole list on the link below and donate to whatever organization your heart chooses! Let us pay whatever blessing we have forward and let us take care of one another!


Bella Ciao: What I Gave Up for Lent

I don’t remember doing something meaningful for Lent last year. Heck, I don’t remember a lot of things in the past anymore 😝, but I wanna make sure I make this year’s Lenten season count.

If you check out my last blog entry, you’ll see how I have been religiously breaking bad habits and developing new ones, which I’d like to believe I’d benefit from in the long run.

Part of what I want to achieve this year is to develop a closer and deeper relationship with God. Obviously, I wouldn’t be able to do that with all the distractions around me. So, I did little reflection and came up with a plan, and that is to shun my addictions completely (well during the Lenten season, at least 😝).

Now what might you ask is that huuuuge distraction and addiction that keeps me so near yet sooo far away from God? It’s actually no secret entirely that I am guilty AF πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ™‹πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ™‹πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ™‹πŸ»β€β™€οΈaddicted…………… and forever will be to this virtual blackhole that is SOCIAL MEDIA, specifically, Instagram.

I cannot tell you how much of my daily phone fiddling comprises of purely Instagram scrolling, saving, liking and commenting. I don’t need any analytics company to tell me that the only time I spend away from my phone is when I am asleep or taking a bath, that is if I am not listening to a podcast or to my “dance in the shower playlist” – lol, I used to have one!

It’s probably safe to say that I spend merely 16 hours on my phone and maybe half of that is spent just for Instagram entirely. So, it wouldn’t take a genius to come up with a diagnosis that I am in fact, truly and beyond, heartbreakingly ADDICTED!

Now, I don’t want to use Lent only as an excuse for me to give this up. When I thought about it, I clearly would be giving up something that has become such a huge part of me, I don’t know if I can ever live without letting people know what song I’m listening to or what article struck me the most. To be fair, I also shared a lot about faith on my stories, but still, that wouldn’t be fair to Him.

Suddenly, I came to the realization that I might even be spending waaaayyy more time on this, rather than on reading the Bible or simply just talking to Him.

You see, I am not doing this merely for myself. I want to do it truly for Him. I guess it kinda defeats the purpose of Lent, if you still put yourself in the center of it all. For sure, you can do the NO-IG-FOR-40-DAYS challenge any time of the year and that is entirely up to you and should be beneficial for you. On he other hand, Lent should be a time of self reflection, prayer and sacrifice, and should benefit God.

Funny how I am just coming up with some of these realizations right now, as I type this. πŸ€” The Holy Spirit must be hovering over me at the moment. βœŒπŸ»πŸ™πŸ»

So anyway, I am almost a week into my Instagram hiatus. I bid my friends adieu a week ago πŸ˜… and deleted the app on my phone (okay, I might have just logged out of my accounts—and forgot my passwords entirely lol JK!), so I wouldn’t need to deactivate them and have people ask me all the time the reason for doing so. Apparently, people are sooooo quick to judge and think that the only time people go on a social media break is when they’re heartbroken. πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„ Geezzzz getting so tired of narrow-minded people who …okay, would probably also work on giving up ranting for Lent! It’s on my “Habit to Break” list after all! 😝

So far, I only unconsciously pressed on the Instagram icon on my phone about 3-4 times the whole week. Muscle memory, I guess; but on the past few days, I felt no urge anymore to share stuff online, which is little progress, but progress nonetheless! 😊😜

Can I get a what what???!

photo from meme generator

For now, I’ll only entertain withdrawals of writing (both long and short form, hello Twitter!), occasional bouts of 2am hopeless thoughts 😝, and of course, prayer time!

Wishing you, me and all of us well especially in these dark and hard times!

P.S. downloaded Medibang and made these marbleeeeeeeed messages for my last IG post prior to the big hiatus!