7 YEARS on WORDPRESS / The Sunday Currently vol. 15 / GGSS – Valuing Oneself

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7 years on WordPress yet I still forget when exactly my anniversary is because TBH, I’ve been here longer than that. Looking back, I just imported my previous wordpress blog on to this account, on this day, 7 years ago. More or less, I’ve been blogging on WP since 2010, but blogging on other platforms since 6th grade in 2002! You can do the math! LOL!

I was eager to write about How to Value Oneself and how to Value Your Worth after a long conversation with a friend early this morning, but since it’s my anniversary, I thought of adding something more………I need a new SUNDAY CURRENTLY post since it’s a Sunday!

Last time I did this was 2 years ago! I cannot believe it was that long ago! I used to do this all the time, and the last one seemed like I just wrote it yesterday!

Without further ado, here it goes…..

THE SUNDAY CURRENTLY / VOLUME 15

Again, this is a SIDDATHORNTON BLOG LINK UP. This series ended in 2014 yet a lot of people still continued theirs on their respective blogs. I was #76 on the list of blog links and will post my 15th TSC today as I missed it so much!

C U R R E N T L Y . . .
R E A D I N G  “Everyone Can Be Creative” by ex-nun, Merlee Cruz-Jayme. Will post a book review soon!
W R I T I N G  this blog post!
L I S T E N I N G  to the Coffeehouse Playlist on Spotify!
T H I N K I N G  of my tito who is currently in critical condition.
S M E L L I N G  Tol’s buttered chicken take out from yesterday and mothballs (which I scattered all over my room here in Cebu)
W I S H I N G  a lot of things right now. Wish it’s Christmas vacation already and that I end the year with a bang!
W E A R I N G  my sleepwear. Can’t specify since it might be a little too much (or too little) for some. Charrr!
L O V I N G  my current state as I have finally decided to let go of the past and be hopeful for the future! Also loving this Sunday in particular although it’s not really a good one for my family back home.
W A N T I N G  more time with my family—-will be going home in 2 days for the All Saints’ day weekend!
N E E D I N G  to do a lot of admin work, personal errands and pack my suitcase! Also need to have my car repaired over the holidays!
F E E L I N G  so many mixed emotions all at the same time! Feeling anxious about all the paper work and errands I need done by today, feeling excited about going home in a few days, feeling sad for my family, particularly for my tito and his kids, feeling grateful and accomplished for implementing the marketing activities and having done a lot of programs the past week!

 

Phew!!! That was quick! I need to do more of this!

And now on to my GGSS post!

I have been feeling less burdened lately as I was finally able to pull out THE thorn out of my chest just recently.

It was one day a few weeks ago, when I woke up from a very good night’s sleep that I realized that I can finally let go of the past! I even wrote about it here. Now, I can say that I’m finally opening my doors to new possibilities in life and love and that I am sending it out for the universe to devour and hopefully in turn, send to THE ONE!

It’s scares me still, but being scared sometimes means that I’m out to venture on to something good, right? I have given it proper thinking for the last 2 years (I think) and now, I owe it to myself to know my worth, my value as a person and also to my ex to be given the freedom and happiness he also deserves!

So why GGSS? As you all know, this Pinoy term/expression means “Gandang-Ganda Sa Sarili“, which in simple English translates to being narcissistic and completely obsessed with one’s physical beauty. People often use this expression when reminding their friends that they’ve gone overboard with the selfies or that they’ve been so annoyingly boastful with their looks. You get what I mean!

Using it almost always gives a wrong connotation and evokes a negative reaction, but for today, I am using it as a term of great endearment for oneself.

It’s annoying to be with people who are obsessed with the superficial a.k.a. their looks, but don’t you think that somehow, it is very important too? To be able to love yourself first among others?

A lot of us have insecurities and it isn’t healthy that we obsess over these too more than the good in us. Mahirap rin naman yung PPSS or Panget na Panget Sa Sarili diba? I admit, I am guilty of this especially since I have cooooountlesssssssss insecurities! I lack self love which is why I hate taking posting selfies for fear of rejection or negative reactions.

I envy people who have good smiles, pretty eyes, perfect skin, gorgeous hair, confidence, who are good in public speaking, and the list goes on.

Despite these, I still love myself a lot. I have learned to gradually love myself more as I grow old. I am not beautiful as per majority’s standards, but I do have my own charm, which I am not yet quite aware of, but we all do, right?

So in order to know our worth as a person, we have to dig deep into the concept of self love. It goes beyond loving only the good, our strengths, the pros, because whether we like it or not, we also have to accept our imperfections. Just the same, in loving another person, we have to be able to accept the fact that no one’s perfect and in loving, it doesn’t discriminate with the good things alone.

Hence, if we learn to fully love ourselves, we also learn to value our worth.

You love your books because you know how much they’re worth. You value blogversaries because they are important to you. You take care of the things that give you meaning and value as a person, and in the same way, if you know your worth, you will also know how to take care of yourself.

You should know when to step up, especially when you’re being stepped on. You should know when to stop when you feel you’re being taken advantage of. You should know how to stand up for yourself, especially when you know that you’re worth more than other people’s treatment of you.

To end this self love post, let us give importance and value to whoever we have become and to whoever we are, because deep inside each one of us, is our God. We value Him as we value ourselves! Now tell me, ain’t that right?

mars2

 

 

 

How to know if you’ve FINALLY moved on

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I’ve been really busy the past few weeks and I feel like my whole life  just revolves around work lately. Kulang na lang, sa doctors clinics na ako matulog….ooops, nagawa ko na pala yun, dun na ako kumakain at natutulog. Pathetic noh? haha.

Yesterday, it felt so wrong to go home before 7pm just because it was a Tuesday and on Tuesdays, we go home at around 9 to 11, but I thought, I owe that to myself. I need to give myself the time to rest because like what the successful people say, “HINDI NAUUBOS ANG TRABAHO, PERO ANG PASENSYA KO UBOS NA UBOS NA!” Charr!!! This is one advice I’ve heard from one of those career videos I watch online that really stuck with me, “Work is neverending, and it will still be there when you wake up in the morning, so give time for your family, for yourself and for all the other stuff called LIFE OUTSIDE WORK!” Syempre, binago ko na yan pero that’s mainly the gist.

So there, I just need you to know that I finally had a good night’s sleep last night and I woke up (still at 5am though — ganun na talaga eh! matanda na!) feeling well……..well rested. It was one of the best sleeps I’ve had in the past 2 weeks, which I think is the real reason why my brain has recuperated and thought “hey, maybe you’ve finally moved on!”. Ang random eh noh?

So this morning, I flooded my friends with messages that just came popping in and out of my head and I told them, hey I think I finally know why I am in this place and why I am in this job! I remember what one of my doctors told me, “YOU SHOULD ALWAYS LOOK AT THE THINGS HAPPENING IN YOUR LIFE IN A BIGGER PICTURE.” and I guess not a lot of us can do that consistently, but since my head was suddenly as clear as the glass faces of your Korean idols, I realized, maybe this is ONE of the reasons why I am so far from my comfort zone, to be able to feel alone (and lonely at times) for me to be able to find strength in myself and to grow! Pheeewwww!

To cut this whole post short, a light bulb lit in my head and I knew that maybe this is what God wants for me, to grow and mature and to help myself.

So the question is, have I finally moved on? 

Before I beat around the bush again, I’ll tell you now that I really do think that I can finally say, YES, I have.

I think we all cope differently in life and I can’t give one advice that will be applicable to all, but what I think helped me is the fact that I am so far from home, which is my ultimate comfort zone. Obviously, I have to tend for myself, look after myself and pick up after…(guess who!)………… myself!

I couldn’t even drive outside our village before I got this job. I couldn’t go home too late without my mother giving me the cold treatment the next day. I rarely cleaned up after myself before I lived on my own. I didn’t think I could do the things I’m doing now before I was on my own. So I think, it helped a lot to realize that you’re really ON YOUR OWN for you to become really INDEPENDENT and hopefully STRONGER! 

When I screwed curtain rods to the wall or bought and changed my light bulb in the bathroom, I felt really proud that I now could do all the things that I used to ask someone else to do before. I thought, “Hey, this is what growing up must really feel like!”.

My ex and I ended our relationship just like everyone else did……bad, like buildings-torn-apart-by-godzilla-BAD, but then eventually we became friends again. Until lately, I felt like we were growing apart. I can blame that to our really busy lives now. I used to talk to him a lot, sharing our horror work stories and somehow I felt like I needed him to still be a part of my life because obviously he’s one of my best friends. He really is, but because we don’t talk as much anymore, I realized that I can live without letting him know how work sucks or how bad I was feeling. I have my barkada to tell all those stuff to.

Recently, I felt the need to talk to him again about a really pressing personal problem, but in the middle of typing my message, I realized that I have to stop going to him whenever a problem comes up. So I erased the message. And that’s it! I am finally becoming independent!

To answer the title up there, I guess you’ll know that you’ve moved on:

  1. When you can finally say that your heart is full again. When you learn to love yourself despite your failures, your insecurities and your past.
  2. When you mature enough to realize that your love problems doesn’t even compare to the problems of the world or that starving orphan in Africa
  3. When you have spoiled yourself with all the YOU TIME in the world!!!! kapag nasulit mo na yung pagiging single mo
  4. When you are happy for yourself and for your ex moving on with your own lives and probably with your own new partners
  5. When despite missing having someone to always go with you wherever you want, you brave the world on your own; and when you don’t feel the need to depend on someone else to look after you or to shop with you or eat with you. You go those things on your own girl! Or perhaps your with your family and friends!
  6. When you have forgiven your ex partner and most importantly, YOURSELF!
  7. When you finally have the PEACE OF MIND you’ve been praying for!

WHAT HELPED?

  1. PRAYER. I tell this to everyone. Prayer can heal your heart from all the pain, the suffering, the heartache. God is closest to the people who are at the lowest points of their lives (my papa keeps reminding us of this!). Prayer can even help you with your depression!
  2. FAMILY and FRIENDS. Need I say more?
  3. Making time for the things you love doing! I had more time to pursue photography, art, traveling and mountaineering! You make time for working out too apart from pigging out! Get a tattoo! Dance naked! SLEEEEP for 16 hours straight! Do all the things you can’t do unless you’re alone!
  4. Traveling. It makes your heart grow bigger! (not literally though coz that’s baaaad!)
  5. Syempre, it helps to be ALONE, to feel ALONE and to maximize all the ALOOOONE time you can get! NAMNAMIN mo yung pagiging mag-isa! Treasure it before the next person comes trashing your life again! Charot! Kidding aside, it would really make you a stronger and independent person and you’ll feel that it’s not so bad to be alone after all! Again, love and treasure being single! It’s that golden period in your life that you get to know yourself again!
  6. Watch How to be Single! Lol! I’ll probably do again!

Hope it helped!

mars2