Today, I thought that I’ve gone too far with being someone I’m not. I used to be someone else. I used to be naive, hopeful, but ironically, a hopeless romantic.
I found someone special and to quote Gerry from the movie/book P.S. I Love You, meeting him “was the end of life as I knew it“.
Beautiful quote, isn’t it? I’m never going to get tired of watching Gerard Butler and Hilary Swank in the movie adaptation. They were awesome and they always make me cry, no matter how many times I watch the film. It is after all, my comfort movie. I watch it when I’m happy and even when I’m sad because it has its way of always making me feel better, whether I’m in a mood or not.
I watched it early this afternoon and as always, I broke into tears.
It really isn’t easy losing someone, let alone someone you care for so much; and you don’t realize how special and important he/she is in your life until he/she’s gone.
What makes this a feel good movie, even though everyone knows Gerard’s character, Gerry dies, is that it gives so much hope that no matter how tragic life can get, eventually, anyone can and will get back on their feet, if they want to.
I love how realistic they made the movie seem, how beautiful the twist was, how lovely Irish people and Irish music are, how husband material Gerry’s character is and how moving Holly‘s, Hilary Swank’s character, journey became.
**btw, I love how Gerard’s character’s name started with a G and Hilary’s character’s name started with an H! 😉
Going back, I also love how the movie always reminds me that life is short and that anything can happen. If you’re a softy like me, I know you’d feel as remorseful as I do, every single time I watch this.
Like in the movie, sometimes, life can really be unfair.You lose someone you just can never have back in your life. It’s irreversible and there’s just nothing you can do about it. Likewise, life ends there as you know it. There’d even be a time when you don’t even get to say goodbye. How much more painful can it get than that?
I’m much luckier to get the chance to say goodbye though. It would’ve been harder for me if I didn’t, but I’m still not over the fact that he’s gone as he’s been a part of me and my life for so long that I may have forgotten what it’s like to live without him.
I can’t keep chasing after him though and I can’t keep moping around, at least not for long, so I decided to write to him instead. Writing is very therapeutic for me but I can’t keep putting down everything in here so I thought I’d write to him through another way, through letters. Everyday, I’d write to him until I don’t feel so bad anymore, or maybe until I have finally and fully accepted that he’s gone forever.
I don’t have to give the letters to him though because, duh, he’s gone. I just want to do it because it would seem as if I’m able to talk to him again.
It sucks that life hasn’t been easy for me for the past year and that I had to learn things the hard way, but again, I’m not blaming anyone but myself. I know what I did and I know what I could have done, but didn’t. I’m not wishing for anything right now except that we both get by and find peace in going our separate ways.
So that’s it! I guess it’s time to write him letter #1.
Here are two of my favorite scenes and favorite songs in the movie. One makes me cry and the other makes me feel so giddy.
Love you til the end