I see people reaching the peak of their lives at such a young age, while I find myself struggling to find the path to where I’m supposed to be.
I’m currently watching Project Runway: Threads, which is very timely and also like a very big jab to the gut seeing contestants as young as 10 sewing and creating their own clothes! I can barely stitch a straight line using a sewing machine! These kids are geniuses!
What I’m saying is, how did these kids realize what they’re supposed to do in life at that age when an adult like me is having a hard time figuring out my purpose in life? At 25, I’m supposed to have savings, a car or a house, or my whole life planned out. Well, to be fair, I’ve made plans my whole life, but that’s it, nothing seemed to have fallen into place, yet.
As I grow older, I become even more scared that it’s also getting too late for me to be still on the stage of figuring out a life that I’m supposed to have. I’m scared that the world has no more room for another human being with dreams of becoming another photographer or writer or an artist. I’m also scared that all these fears would soon eat and swallow me whole into an abyss where I couldn’t get out of. I’m just going to drown in misery and regret with no future and nothing to hold on to. I’m scared that I’m just existing, and not really living.
I’m struggling with all these fears in mind, but there are still times when I see a light at the end of this darkness, finding hope and positivity just when I need them the most.
I definitely have these guys to blame! Oh, what a messed up crew I have up there!
Kidding aside, I’m still wishing, dreaming and hoping that a few years from now, I’m gonna be reading this exact entry and think, “I’ve definitely come a long way since that unfortunate day!” 🙂
I love this list! Hmmm, I definitely have a lot in mind, but the top 10 are (still not in any particular order):
Don’t Say Goodbye, Say Goodnight – Binoculars
Unsteady – X Ambassadors
Premiere – Sophia Black
Nothing Hurts Like This – SLO
Gold Rays – Vinyl Pinups
Night Changes – 1 Direction
Shut Up and Dance – Walk The Moon
High – Young Rising Sons
I Wanna Get Better – Bleachers
Dont’ Dream It’s Over – Miley Cyrus and Ariana Grande’s Happy Hippies cover
I love listening to ALL of these lately. They’ve all been very catchy, even the slow songs like #1, #4, #6 and #10. If I were to make a mix-tape, then this would probably be it! I got 8tracks to thank for the indie songs though.
These are not necessarily in any order. Whatever comes to mind first, comes first. Here we goooo:
1) 35mm Films – I’m going gaga over films and where to buy them, especially the rare and expensive ones. This is probably one of the best ways to win my heart, buy me films, if not more analogue cameras to add to my collection. It’s tangible though, does that still count?
2) trips with my loved ones – It doesn’t matter if it’s just an hour-drive away from home, as long as I get to temporarily escape from all my worries and be with my loved ones, it’ll be worth it!
3) FOOD – Lately, I’ve been gaining weight and noticed my love handles getting not so lovable, all because my appetite just got a little bigger. This doesn’t mean I’m hating on food though. In fact, it’s actually the other way around! If you wish to win my heart, then let’s get started on food! 😉
4) Make me something personalized or practically ANYTHING – As long as you made it yourself, it’ll surely win my heart! I love anything handmade, artsy and personalized.
5) More time with B – It doesn’t matter where we go or where our dates would take us as long as I get to spend more time with him without me worrying about curfew (i know, I’m too old for curfews) or my parents wondering where I’m at. I just want both the world and time to stop when we’re together.
I was in high school when I first read about UP Samaskom LIVE AIDS (read more about it here and here) and since then, I’ve always wanted to see this show. I’ve told some friends about it then and I know that we’ve made plans to go and see it for ourselves, but those plans never pushed through, until this year!
I almost missed it again, actually, so I’m really happy to have stumbled upon a blog or their page on Facebook just a couple of weeks ago and when I found out that we could still make it, I reserved seats for me and Bri, paid for them the next day!
Come Thursday of the past week, 11th June, we went straight to UP right after work! We also planned to go around the university but we could only have time for dinner at the Chocolate Kiss cafe, which wasn’t bad at all. We plan to go back and try out the rest of their menu anyway and to do a real tour of the uni on a more convenient time.
A little segue on our short but literally sweet food trip, we read online reviews days before our UP date and found out that most people really loved the cafe’s Chicken Kiev and their Hickory Spareribs, so that’s what we ordered that night. We also had a taste of their famous Devil’s Food Cake and Kahlua Butter cake for dessert and we both loved them, though I’m a bigger fan of the latter, while B loved the DFC. We also tried their iced tea with the syrup and calamansi and loved it. If you haven’t realized it yet, well, I’m saying that I loved everything, even the interior and ambiance with these beautiful artworks that I’d love to have a closer look at next time. It’s my kind of date place with B, being very simple, relaxing, and with not too many people (at least before 6pm). I think they also have musicians playing that night, but we could only stay until right before the Live Aids show started. It would’ve been more romantic for our first date at the cafe!
After dinner, we had time to take photos of each other and walk back to the Abelardo Hall. CMC was packed with people mostly from UP and I was getting scared that the show was exclusively for alums and undergrads, but it was a relief to see a lot of outsiders who came to see the show too!
Now I know why people from all over come to see the show every year, because people were literally rolling on the floor laughing. It has been a long time since I had a good laugh, the kind that really gets me out of breath and would make me tear up (although I know I always do when laughing) and not care about how people around us would react with the accompanying squeals I had to let out when I couldn’t take it anymore. It was such a fun night. All I could say is that I’m still hungover and I would really go see this show every year to get my fix of a wonderfully put together event.
My favorite parts were the “Panggatong Sayo” sketch, the scenes of the lola and the pretty gay clad in the Miley-Cyrus-in-her-teen-years, shimmery outfit, in the Lavinia Bus skit, their grand dance productions and the last skit by the director herself, Tuesday Vargas.
I also loved their portrayal of Dra. Beki Below (and her whole sketch/monologue-she easily brought the house down), Claudia and Tumor Powers (the whole cast of this skit was applaudable, but the showdown between these two were very much anticipated and they didn’t disappoint), the lola and the gay in the shiny dress that I mentioned earlier (both of them delivered well), some political figures whose names/status are very much resonant/controversial today. I also loved their best actor (who was the gay in shiny dress I kept mentioning above), dancer (who was laudable and always had her game face on) and singer (that gave a really beautiful, but short solo performance) all of whom were named in the end! I don’t want to spoil it too much as they still have their last show which will be happening tonight!
All I can say by the end of it all was “Ang galing!!” and “Ang sarap tumawa!!!“. I’m glad to have seen it the first time on their 30th year! The show was spectacular, well-thought of (syempre) and well-put-together (as I kept saying).
P.S. other photos to follow on my other blog (still for developing and scanning hihi)