Lately, I have been busy doing a lot of things and nothing at the same time. I have been living a routine that can really get taxing, not to mention deadly.
Days have become routinary wherein I look forward to weekends and ignore the rest of the week. Well, that’s how it used to be until I started dreading Fridays too because lately, weekends tend to fleet almost as if they don’t exist anymore. The next thing I know, it’s Monday again and unlike weekends, the other 5 days of the week feel more like years than days, especially when I’m at work. I know what’s in your mind, “she’s become a zombie again!“.
Don’t get me wrong, I feel like with my work schedule, the pay and the fixed weekends off, I get to do more and spend more time with the people I love more than I have ever had in my entire adult life. I can never be more thankful for that, but I know that this is still not the life I have been dreaming of.
Whatever it is though, I still haven’t figured it out. I’m 25, lost and directionless, but I cannot give up now. Not when I get to do more of what I love.
Take for example, the photo above. I could never afford to buy a camera to take that photo and get it printed and paint the exact image with watercolors had I not left my old job. I finally got that “privilege” which I think has brought more inspiration for me to work on my hobbies and passion even more, but I know there’s still something lacking in my life.
Like what I said, I still feel lost. Talk about quarter life crisis. When it feels like everyone I know right now has found their place in this world, it makes me feel envious but it also excites me in a way thinking that one day, I can be in their shoes too, and I believe that.
For now, I’m trying my best not to put aside my hobbies especially not because I’m too tired to do so. I’ve once been told that
“If you’re having a hard time finding motivation in doing what you so called “love doing” than maybe you don’t actually love it? When something is important to you, you make time for it. So if your having a hard time doing that, you may need to reevaluate what you actually enjoy doing. People evolve and so do their interests. It’s natural. “
I still get giddy whenever an opportunity comes for me to get creative and to be able to get down and dirty with art stuff. It is the glucose to my blood therefore making me instantly pumped up and before I know it, my workspace explodes into a mess again!
On our recent trip to divi, I splurged 95% of my money on craft materials. We bought paper mache letters (finally) and when my sister asked me to paint on the ones she bought for an officemate’s birthday surprise, I did it minutes before I went to bed at 2AM. It didn’t matter if I had to wake up only 2 hours after, I cannot not paint on it.
She also asked me to wrap a birthday gift for another co-worker recently and I convinced her that I use my recent finds to cover it up and here’s how it looked like in the end.
So there you go, I am happy to say that “I’m back baby” and so I’m cutting short my sudden hiatus to the artsy fartsy world!