My Own Little Sacrifice

The past weeks, and as I have mentioned in my “Currently” entry, I have been having tiny bits of “suffering”. Yeah they’re not major ones like what Jesus endured during His time on earth but it’s been bothering me for a pretty long time.

  • There’s the little issue with the boyfriend
  • Then my lola’s hospitalization
  • Then there’s my tita’s scary cervical spine injury (she had to stay with us for a while)
  • After everything, came my cholelithiasis/appendicitis scare

In the midst of all these, I was just grabbing hold of Jesus’ hand (trying hard not to let go). I went to St. Pio chapel a couple of times. I even brought my sick tita and cousin there, a week ago. I’m being hopeful and positive still that these are just part of our own little crosses (compared to Jesus’ cross) that we do have to carry, especially since it’s the Lenten season. I was just trying to convince myself to offer everything to God especially in these most trying times because every bad thing will eventually come to pass, right?

True enough, my lola went home and is currently back on her feet (makulit na ulit as of this weekend), my tita didn’t need surgery and is just having therapy thrice a week, my HBT ultrasound was entirely negative and my pancreas, liver and gallbladder are all working fine. B and I are still making it work despite some issues. I’m finally able to breathe again and to cap of the Lenten season, we (my sister pala) booked a 3-day, 2-night stay in Pagudpod to spend time together as a family.

Then came the heartbreaking news, super typhoon Chedeng has just entered the PAR and making it’s way to the north west part of Luzon.

I know it sounds selfish but I’m half-wishing that it would be strong enough to make our trip today worth cancelling, or at least worth a refund of my sister’s money, or perhaps a rebooking or rescheduling? Although, I might not be able to request for another VL, at least not anytime soon.

We were all looking forward to this trip. We’ve been to Ilocos a couple of times the past years because we’ve all just started meeting and catching up with family there. Who knew right? But this was going to be our first time in Pagudpod because no one really liked driving too far up north, in the past. My father has been even having second thoughts days before because he feels like travelling that far by car is whole body pain just waiting to happen.

I want to still be positive on this but I can’t think of anything that can make me feel okay right now. It’s our first Holy Week in our entire lives to go on a vacation. Every year, we’d go on Visita Iglesia without fail. Maybe He just doesn’t want us having fun this week like the rest of the world or at least the rest of the beach loving kids do? But we’ve put it on our itinerary to visit churches in Ilocos, can’t that be valid enough for us to go on to this trip? 😦

Well, I just hope that the storm will spare everyone’s life and homes this week. For now I think, we’ll all just stay at home and rot (not bitter). Kidding aside, I’m still praying for a good time well spent with my family. After all, it’s what this vacation leave is for. I also think that God’s trying to make papansin, asking us to read the Bible or pray. I know I haven’t been reading the Bible lately, though I’ve been praying/asking for a lot. I admit I haven’t been able to thank Him for a lot of things too. Maybe it’s His way of getting our attention, right?

These are my own little sacrifices. I’ve never been this sad about Lent before, but maybe this is how it should truly be observed.

Last night I was tumblr-ing and I can’t help but stop and reflect deeply about this specific post by Spiritual Inspiration:

insp1

“…And in an instant, suddenly, you shall be visited and delivered by the Lord of hosts…” (Isaiah 29:5–6, AMP)

Throughout the Bible, we have examples of how God suddenly showed Himself strong on behalf of His people. But sometimes when we’ve struggled in an area for a long time, it’s easy to just give up and accept things the way they are. One of the enemy’s favorite lies is to tell you that nothing is ever going to change. He’ll tell you that you’re never going to get well, that your marriage isn’t going to work out, that you’re never going to break that addiction. But I want to tell you today, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been in those circumstances, God can change things in an instant! In a split second of time, He can turn it all around. One touch of God’s power can heal your body. One touch of His favor can promote you. One touch of His goodness can solve that problem. Just one touch from Almighty God can instantly change your life.

I encourage you today, keep believing, keep standing, and keep hoping. Don’t let the enemy drag your thoughts down because God is working behind the scenes. Your time is coming, and I declare that your breakthrough is going to happen suddenly — in an instant!

and by this one too…

insp2

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