1 down, 11 more to go

January is almost up and now, we’re transitioning over to the love month! Did I get that right?! Time indeed does fly so fast these days, we can barely feel it pass by.

So about a month ago, I promised myself to finish or at least start the challenges I’ve gotten myself into. So how did it go, you may ask? Well, let’s just say that I’ve been pretty successful with the money challenge, however, I gave up on the AB challenge on the first day and just about to go back to squatting after stopping on the 4th day (105 squats/day) **take note, I’ve miscalculated the number of squats or increments/day so that makes me an advance squatter right? That didn’t sound right, but you get what I mean.

The AB challenge, I underestimated, so I can forgive myself for failing that. The squat challenge, however, I really need to finish since I kind of gotten the hang of it or it’s gotten pretty much bearable after a few days of getting my body used to it. So, give me another month or so to complete it.

A few more things I have been obsessing on over the past month:

  • making my own planner – failing to win the last Daykeeper 2015 giveaway made me just want to make my own, after all, I’m a DIY queen, or princess or jester! Whatever!
    • Therefore, I’ve decided to buy my very own scanner/photocopier/printer in one to help materialize this vision (the film scanner would just have to wait)
    • Subscribed to youtube DIY wizards on how to bind books!
    • I’ve been studying InDesign as well!- since a few hours ago
    • might be buying liquid gold and metal stamps just for the cover – not that I’m copying the whole concept of Daykeeper
  • Buying my own Film Scanner – at first, I was just obsessing over the cheaper CD-R-KING stand alone scanner, but I convinced myself to invest on a more reliable one (i’ll probably get the cheaper Epson V600 first)
  • Iphone 6 Plus – This one, I should be able to get only when I become a regular employee (obsession rating 11/10)
  • this playlist – been playing this for weeks since I discovered it. This is my kind of playlist, songs I’d love to listen to forever and to think I’ve never heard of most of the songs in my life.
  • Slip on Sneakers!!!!! – bought a pair of black ones and although it’s not my size, I love wearing it! (my mother hates them though!) I’ve been scouting online for a pair with snakeskin or gray or leopard prints on them! You can wear them with anything – pants, formal wear, skirts, dresses and even shorts!

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Challenge Yourself Endlessly

I’m no champion in challenges. That is a fact, but it’s not something I won’t be able to work hard for say maybe in the next few years! Chos! Kidding aside, this January, I’ve decided to start 2 or maybe 3 challenges max, since after all, it’s a time for new beginnings!

First on my list is one for the whole year. It is the Pinoy version of the 52 week Money Challenge! This was initially brought up/introduced by Jan last year. Unfortunately, I didn’t get a permanent job until September and by that time, it would’ve been too late to still do it.

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This year, when I have long forgotten about it, someone brought it up again and thinking that while I’m still earning, there’s no reason why I shouldn’t give it a try this year. Plus, it’s not too late to start since we’re just on the 2nd week of January, or still on the first, maybe? Now that got me confused!  Never mind! I’m still doing it, come what may!

Now on to my next 2 challenges: Presenting, ehem ehem The 30 Day Fitness Challenges!!! Boo Hoo!! I know this might be way, way more ambitious than the first challenge, but we all got to do it, one way or another! We aren’t getting any younger and I tried on and bought a pair of bikini earlier and I need to look good in it or else, I’d look like a grade schooler with no chest and big tummy! Boy, I look so awful, I need to get Coleen Garcia‘s abs so baaaaaad!!! Yeah, it’s pretty much what I’ve been blabbering about when I got back to work after the holidays! Her abs! I know right?! Some people might not get it or get turned off by it, but dayuummm, it’s like the phase when I was obsessing over flat abs on women is totally over! Now, I’m into that semi-toned/muscular abs (but definitely not the soooooper doooooper scary and manly ones) plus toned body! I need to have them on me!!!!!!!! OA alert!

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Not a big fan of her, not after the whole Bikki (or whatever fans used to call them) break up, but goodness, you cannot not be a fan of her abs! Need I say more? (I’ve said a lot already actually! :P) That’s what you can truly call a #fitspiration or #abspiration. But more than her abs, I admire her (and other celebs’ —-Solenn, Ellen) endurance and discipline.

I got myself a few more things on my list of what I’d like to achieve or invest on this year like send a child to school, get a life insurance, run every night, buy that cheap, film scanner from cd-r-king, buy a printer and scanner in 1, get new hair (maybe this week!!), buy a decent tablet and lots of other artsy stuff, so I’ve got to learn how to keep myself focused and disciplined this time!

Not sure if those are resolutions because that’d only make me hate myself more (not really good at resolutions!). Maybe I’d just think of those as just assignments that I’d have to finish by the end of the month/year. That way, it would sound more realistic and feasible. 🙂 —Hold on, ain’t that what resolutions supposed to be? FAIL!

Anyhow, this year, I’d be challenging myself endlessly. In fact, I’m challenging myself to sleep now, so I could challenge myself to wake up earlier than usual and challenge myself to start the 30 day Ab and Squat Challenges! Boy, those are a mouthful of challenges! Phew! Maybe I need to challenge myself to rise to these challenges!

disclaimer: photos link back to their owners!

New Year

Yes, this looks exactly like my new year post on my photo blog, having the same title and photos, but I wanted this to be more heartfelt than the other post already is!

I was pouring my heart out to someone earlier that it made me finally write something after a long time! I couldn’t get myself to write that year-ender entry I’ve been meaning to since November because of all the Christmas preparations and holiday celebrations.

I still haven’t organized my thoughts to do that yet so I’m postponing it for another week. Right now, I just feel like I should, in Taylor Swift’s words, “shake it off”!

Everyone gets a little hopeful every time a new year starts, including me. New Years give you hope of having a completely clean slate to start life anew; like it’s acceptable, only for that fleeting moment between 11:59-12:00 am, for anyone to just leave the bad behind and look forward to anything that can make the previous year better.

This year, tried as I might to shake off all the fears, negativity, guilt and sadness, I couldn’t! It’s been bothering me for the last few hours that I couldn’t help but vent it out to a friend. Maybe that’s why I’ve been painting in breaks between preparations yesterday, to calm the nerves!

I know I was such a terrible person last year and I couldn’t tell if I still am or not, and now I’m afraid that despite everything I’ve been through last year, I’m bound to fail again this year. I’m afraid that there wouldn’t be anything good for me anymore after all the bad things that 2014 has given me. I’m pretty sure that 2014 was one of the most challenging and heartbreaking years of my life, not to mention the lowest point in my life. Just thinking about the choices and decisions I’ve made makes me want to cringe. What’s worse is that I don’t know if I have learned anything from all my failures. It feels like I’m still the same, old me!

One thing I’ve done though before the year ended is patch things up with the people I’ve been in conflict with, all of which are friends. Though it still didn’t feel right and I guess things wouldn’t be the same as before, but I’ve already accepted that fact long before I decided to apologize to them.

So what else am I looking forward to now? What are my resolutions? What am I leaving behind?

Honestly, I’m still very much overwhelmed by fear, but it helps that I’m still alive to think that I do have a purpose that I need to fulfill. Only God knows how messed up my life really is right now, and I’m thankful that He never got tired of me, a sinner, not even once and the blessings I got this year are evidence to that.

09960005Right now, I feel completely stripped off of everything, like I’m naked, with no one else to get inspiration and strength from but from the people closest to my heart, my family, a few friends and God. So for now, all I want is to get back up and maybe, just maybe take baby steps to fix my self and my life. After all, the sun still rises and I still wake up to see it!