My Mad Fat Diary (People I Can Talk To The Most)

So I have been hooked to this show since this afternoon last week (late post, but still it was mind-blowingly, teeny-boppery good!), thanks to my good friend, Denise who insisted (really insisted) that I should go watch the shows she’s been hooked to as well. She’s in Japan right now, working and it’s really nice that we haven’t lost contact ever since she went there. Back in college, I can remember how we talk about this show (which she also introduced to me), Everybody Hates Chris. I enjoyed it a lot and even got myself a copy of the series. She’s also so good at speaking the lines from shows and movies, you’d die once you hear her say a few ones from her favorite, Mean Girls.

Anyway, since I’m already at it, and since I’m really loving the show, I had this idea to list down the people that I can talk to the most as well (yep just like what Rae did in S01E05, i think). I have about a few ones in mind and boy, just thinking about them makes me giddy inside.

So let me see, there’s Nikki, my best friend, Jannina, my good SR kabarkada, Nicole, a friend from my former job, Joey, a close friend from college, Ma’am Donna, one of my senior staff nurses, Denise, another friend from college, Fenil, my first ever college friend, Carlo, my other college friend and of course, my boyfriend, Brianne. These people are the few ones I can constantly talk to, about almost anything and what’s going on in my life now, good or bad. These people are the ones I’ve grown really close with over the past years, and still get in touch with every now and then.

Let me start off with Nikki. Our friendship dates back to 4th grade because although we first met back in 2nd grade, I never really think we’re already friends back then. I can remember back in fourth grade how my best friend then was her classmate and hers was in my class so we’d always see each other from time to time. We have this thing in grade school where you couldn’t always go in a different class room all the time (well not if you’re the shy type) so you’d have to ask someone to call the person you want to talk to at the door. So I’d usually call her best friend then so they could spend recess time together. There was also this time, which also happens to be one of the most unforgettable ones I had with her when my father picked us up from school and she went all the way to our car with me. When I was bidding goodbye, she just blurted out “wow may driver!!”. I still think that it was because my father’s company uniform back then really looked like a driver’s uniform. I felt really terrible for my father back then, to think that I was only about 8 or 9 years old. Although we’ve been friends ever since, our friendship has been on really rough patches the past months and I admit, there were times that I felt like it was going to end, but thank God, we’re still here and I found myself talking to her again about a lot of things lately. I’m really glad that we have sorted out our differences and that she’s starting to feel so much better lately. Our last long conversation was on viber, but even so, it was so pleasant, I found myself smiling or even half laughing at the random topics we came across. I like talking to her because she’s my best friend and it would just be wrong not to tell her everything. Whether it is about my relationship drama, or an illness symptom (she’s also a nurse/soon to be doctor) that I get paranoid about or job interview jitters, she knows it all. Plus she knows the right things to say even those that are painfully and annoyingly true.

Then there’s Jannina. I think I’ve already told her before that I never thought we’d become close, not in a million years at least. I even used to get intimated by her because I always thought that she and I wouldn’t get along and she wouldn’t really get me. I really, really looked down on myself especially back in high school and although we were already in the same barkada back then, I just wasn’t at ease talking to her. Not that we’re close now, but I’d like to think so. I think it helped that she’s the friend that I can really talk to about my dreams mostly. She’s very encouraging and she thinks big, which inspires me to do the same. She’s also into a lot of things that I’m into like calligraphy, film photography/lomography, stamp carving to name a few. We bond over arts and crafts. Who wouldn’t be ecstatic about arts, right? I also find her really, really wise. This girl is deep. She’s the person to go to when your thoughts are in a mess. I feel like by the end of each of our conversations, I learn something new. Like Nikki, she’s got all the right things to say. I like talking to her because she’s got the knack for making you see things in a different perspective. Plus, she’s become one of the people I’m very comfortable in approaching and like I said, she calms my big mess of a head.

Next on the list is another good friend of mine from where I used to work, Nicole. She was the first ever girl I talked to outside my small group back during our training days in the hospital, and you know what she said the first time we met? “Kamukha mo si Lara Quigaman!“. That caught me off guard. I seriously didn’t know how to react because first of all, I do not look like that beauty queen, not even a bit (so I thought she was just messing with me) and second, it just came out of nowhere (yep she was really just messing with me, although she never admitted doing so). I don’t think we talked again after that, but then came our ER days when we were temporarily split up from our respective duty buddies and were partnered for a week. Our duty days at the ER (nightshift) were very boring. We barely had any patients so we  I tried my best not to fall asleep by swigging buckets of coffee and by talking to each other all night! There were times when I couldn’t bloody(sorry, been watching MMFD the whole afternoon until now) keep my eyes open (and she took lots of evidences of it), but those were also the days nights when we really got to know each other and from then on I knew that we clicked! She laughed at all my jokes and I had fun just being silly with her. To cut the long story short, we became really good friends and even more when I was transferred to their unit and became part of that family. My life in the hospital wouldn’t have been bearable and fun without her there. I like talking to her because she’s one of the few who stayed in contact with me after I resigned so it’s like we never parted ways.

Another person that made my life bearable up until now is Joey! Since we had block(ed) sections in college starting second year, she and I stayed in the same class together for 3 years. Our class really bonded, but since she and I were also in the same RLE group (class subgroup), we became really good friends. We bonded mostly on Korean drama at the beginning, until our friendship became much deeper than that. I think I’ve never told her this before, but she’s one of the people in school that I really, really found intelligent. I know people back in college were ALL overachievers in high school, but this one’s also really humble so that makes her way, way worth more looking up to than all of them. Also, she’s the type who can explain perfectly almost anything, you’d think she was a walking Med-Surg book. And it wasn’t just any explanation, she also spoke in a very calm manner, almost as if the patho-physiology of cancer was music to our ears. So there, Joey, if ever you’d visit this again, you know how I really think of you 🙂 I like talking to her because she’s also one of the few college friends whom I never drifted apart from and she’s also someone I know I can count on.

Ma’am Donna is only a year older than me, but I think that she’s way, way more mature than a lot of older people I know. She’s also one of the few senior nurses that I looked up to and I know I opened up a lot to. She opened my mind to a lot of things about life and I really admire her for being so strong and ambitious. Plus she’s also very honest and straightforward. I remember the first time we met, the unit was closed because there weren’t many patients at the time, so we just spent time getting to know each other. She made sure she reached out to the newbies so she broke the ice by giving an advice, a very odd one at that. She said “Ok lang naman mabuntis kasi nasa right age ka na naman” or something like that. If that wasn’t huge enough for an icebreaker for you, then I don’t know what else is. Of course, I didn’t really take the advice seriously (although I think she was serious about it), but it made me loosen up. After which, we became close, but it wasn’t easy getting there, mind you. I hated her a few times, but in the end, I believe that we really became good friends. I learned so much from her, from changing Oxygen tanks (and removing the gauge using a monkey wrench) to much more complex life issues. Although, she’s become busy the past months and I think she might have gotten tired of my rotten life, and I might have ceased to talk to her lately, she still made it to this list because, just like everyone here, she’s one of the few ones I’m comfortable talking about anything to.

I’ve talked about Denise at the beginning of this entry so I’m just going to skip past her right now……just kidding! Well aside from bonding over film cameras, I’d also like to believe that we bond over everything else, from cute furniture to former batchmates to the Peralejos. Also, she cracks me up, bigtime! She’s one of the few who can really make my stomach hurt after laughing so hard. Plus, I like that she can talk sh*t about people and not feel sorry for it in a harmless and funny way. It doesn’t even feel so wrong when she says it. I know it sounds bad, but trust me, she doesn’t mean any harm, plus those people aren’t really angels, so you get the point. I guess she’s just very honest about how she feels and very straightforward. Nothing serious. I also like how encouraging she is and how she dreams really big as well. I honestly think she’s very much like my other friend, Jannina who also made it to the list. I guess, I like talking to her because well, we have a lot in common and I’d like to believe our personalities really jive well.

Fenil, another college friend and doctor in the making also happens to be my first ever college friend. We met while looking for this well-hidden chemistry lab on our first day, freshmen year. She was kind enough to make me tag along during our break when she met up with some high school friends who also went to the same university. We became friends ever since. I was able to relate to her the most in college because we considered ourselves the average type of pupils swimming in a pool full of outstanding, cool geeks. We had our fair share of school drama and one we could really call our one, big fight (literally), but I believe that it really made our friendship stronger. She’s also one of those girls who can make me laugh heartily. She’s got this amazing wit and natural talent for cracking people up. Also, this girl is one of them who’s got the purest of hearts which is one thing we have in common (hahahaha). We would always feel guilty back in freshmen year when we would see homeless people along the sidestreets of our campus, so we’d give them our food most of the time. If i remember correctly, our plan (together with Denise and Carlo) to give free meals from one of our favorite carinderias along Asturias to the street dwellers before Christmas vacation actually pushed through, or not!! Even if it did not, well, it’s the thought that counts! hahahaha! I like talking to this girl because I can really say that she’s one of those real friends I found in college!

Second to the last is Carlo! He’s one of the few guy friends I had in college, if I would include my male RLEmates whom I never really bonded with as much as I did with this one. I met him freshmen year and together with Fenil, we were the trio who remained close until we graduated, well until now actually. He’s also one of those average students that can really be above average after all. I always liked reviewing with him because he would always give out questions (and answers) minutes before exams that I try to squeeze in to my brain. Another thing I like about him is that he laughs at all of my jokes (well except for the really, really lame ones). It makes me feel good to make fun of him (haha!) and to make him laugh because he could give out this really loud laugh and this “you-shouldn’t-have-told-that-joke-look” when I say something pathetic. I like talking to him because like the rest of the ones on this list, we still get in touch from time to time!

Last, but most definitely not the least is my boyfriend and 2nd best friend, Brianne. Would it be weird if I tell you he became my boyfriend first before becoming my best friend since usually it’s the other way around? Nonetheless, he really has become one of the best guy friends I never had. I don’t know how to start because it just feels overwhelming to think of how our friendship has evolved through our relationship the past 3 years. I guess I could just describe that and leave the love story out of this for a change. One reason he’s on this list is because he’s always been a good friend to me ever since we started going out. I keep telling him this in the past and it still feels the same up until now, I feel very much at ease with him. I’m not sure how or why it happened especially for someone who’s got trust issues, but with him, I felt like it was always okay to spill everything out even my deepest and darkest stories. I felt like he’s never going to judge me no matter what, so why hold back? We would stay up all night just talking and we would never run out of stories to tell and even problems to share, but it wouldn’t matter because it comforted us. He became the person I can talk to about anything and everything. Today, there isn’t anything that I haven’t told him yet, at least none than I can think of. He knows me inside and out. He has smelled my fart and my breath, he knows what time I eat dinner these days, he knows how to make me smile in the most unexpected times. I know we haven’t had the best days of our relationship in the past weeks or even months, but I know nothing will change the friendship that we have. I miss him terribly and even though we only get to talk to each other every once in a while now, I still like talking to him because he’s got the most amazing and soothing voice (speaking or singing) on the face of this planet, and he just makes me feel better just by assuring me that he’s not going anywhere. So there, you might tell me that being in a relationship first and becoming good friends later seems weird and impossible, but that’s how I know we have become and I’m proud of it. 🙂

I may only have a few people that I can really open up to, but I know, like Rae, I’ve got people to run to and to talk to about mostly how my life turned upside down and still manage to keep going, and never get tired of it. Well, I’ll make sure I won’t always get all sappy all the time, because that can be very irritating and not to mention tiring. But still, knowing that I have people I can count on no matter what makes me feel better already. So there’s my own big, fat mad diary. Yep, I’m crazy and I love it!

P.S. none of my family made it to the list because I kind of have a very odd relationship with them. We’re a tight knit family in a different way and though I wish I could be as open and as mushy to them as I am towards my friends, I just can’t. Maybe there are things you could tell your friends but not your family, right?