No Goodbyes

My family is not very showy nor very verbal when it comes to our affection for each other. We’re not the openly mushy type. The mere line that everyone uses, “I love you” doesn’t come too often in our household. It’s a bad thing, I know, but that’s just the way we were raised, probably. But there’s no need to feel too sorry for us. We’re not the family that you think we are. We’re not the family who eats in silence. In fact, it’s where we bond mostly, over food, just like the rest of the normal world. Despite our allergic reaction to a simple “ILY” even in a text message, I’m pretty sure, we make up for that through our warm hugs and the simple favors we do for each other. I know I said we’re not too showy, and that’s true, when we’re around other people. At home, or on our family trips, we make sure that we make each other feel cared for…… in the most elusive way possible ;). Yes we’re not mushy, but we are very soft-hearted people and we love each other despite the subtlety of it.

It’s just not pretty obvious, but we’re a tight-knit family too and the thought of someone leaving the house to venture on a new life makes me cringe and throw up or whatever. The first time someone left is back in college, when I stayed in a dormitory and went home only during weekends. It’s a tough life, yet it’s very liberating. I’ve had my bouts of homesickness and depression especially when my roommates were not around and when I’m having a tough time in school (nursing can make you go cray cray), not to mention during my first few days there. Eventually, you get the  hang of everything, of bringing your laundry to the nearest and cheapest laundry service, of finding a cleaner laundry service, of eating out and going on a food adventure (especially around UST, where my dorm was), of going grocery shopping, of buying stuff to hold your other stuff, of having quick twice a week trips to DIVISORIAAAA or QUIAPOOO, of cleaning the room, and of building great relationships with your roommates and with the people who stayed in the other rooms and the nuns who ran the dorm as well. Eventually, you get used to the normal routine and before you even know it, it’s time to go home again.

That was just me, but it’s a lot more different this time because it’s our bunso who’s leaving and he’s going a few regions away and we’re not going to be seeing him, not for a couple of months (that is if I get a good-paying job within the month! Plan is to visit him, KKB!) at the least. Yeah you read it right, my only and little brother is going away for his job. He was assigned in ten-nen-nen-nen Ormoc-Cebu! I know most will just say, “it’s not like he’s gonna be leaving for Dubai or Qatar or the like”, but still, it’s going to be a bit tough for everyone in my “tight-knit” family. Maybe this time, we’ll learn to squeeze in a few “ILYs” in our texts or FB chats every once in a while. Of course, we knew this was gonna happen. When he signed that contract to be a PSR for the same company where my parents are currently working for, the very first condition was first and foremost, willing to be assigned anywhere in the country. My parents somehow knew that rules changed a bit and PSR’s were assigned in the areas near where they live. So we assumed that he’s going to be assigned in Rizal (booooooring! we wanted him to be assigned somewhere new but still in Luzon), then a few weeks after, assignments were given and he told us that he’s going to be designated in Iloilo/Dumaguete. It was a bit surprising, but we were more excited than shocked. We were already planning trips before the year ends, then came the shocker when assignments changed. Cebu is a beautiful city, plus, we  have family there so he can stay with them every now and then. It’s just that some doctors can be very discriminating especially when PSR’s don’t really speak Bisaya, but just like what Denise Laurel said on a shampoo commercial, it is a CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! So here we are, counting down days to his departure. I know he’s already tired of everyone giving him lectures and tips, but that’s just family, you look after each other right? Told you we love each other! 😛

My brother and I, we’re not that close (he and my sister are much closer), but I’m glad we outgrew the never-ending fights with accompanied flying kicks, punches and a few karate chops we used to have on a daily basis. We still get into some heated arguments which bring me back to those days when I cry when he says something really hurtful or when I simply cannot answer back (he was a very badly-behaved, pilyo and maangas type of kid when he was young), but now, I saw how he has changed into a mature, responsible ehem man! He’s still maangas especially when he drives (which is gonna be a problem when he’s already living alone), but I’m glad and surprised he became a good person still. He’s much closer to my sister, but I’m glad that we have bonded a bit more now that we’re all grown up.

Missing him might be something papa, mama, Kat and I would all have in common in the next few days, weeks and even months. The house just got less manlier! I have no one to play Grand Theft Auto and Left For Dead with. I have no one to open the gates for me when I get home late or no one would ask me to wait for him until at 2 in the morning. There would be less of us singing “Thunder” at the top of our lungs while in the car. There’d be no one to drive for us, especially my sister when they go out on Friday nights. No one would ask me to make Mango Graham cake again and again. There’d be no one to order Carbonara in every single restaurant we go to. There’d be less of us in family trips and group photos. Kat will be all alone in facilitating their (with our younger cousins) drinking sprees on vacations. Last but not the least, I’d miss listening to his playlist whenever he drives for us.

I’d miss our litol brotha, but he’s gotta to do what he’s gotta to!


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Here are songs that I now couldn’t get enough of, thanks to his playlist:

Lastly, the infamous, “THUNDER” 🙂 brings back happy memories. Listening to it now, and no those are not tears in my eyes…

2 thoughts on “No Goodbyes

  1. Bwiset, the part with flying kicks and punches almost made me spill my drink! (Yes, I am drinking water while reading this.)


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