Love and sacrifice: Not always a bad thing

Happy Easter everyone and in light of this special event in all our lives (other religions included), I think it would be fitting for me to express my own perspective on love and its partner-in-crime, sacrifice!

It’s true what I said about sacrifice not always being a bad thing. I don’t know if it is just a good vibe kicking in or a post-holy week bug, but it still probably differs on how one takes it in. Take for example Jesus‘ death on the cross. It was both a sacrifice in His and God’s part (although They’re one) and a bloody one at that. A not so positive person may take it as a sad thing, but a more optimistic one can look at it as a gift from above. Although they may have different views on it, one can’t deny that either way, the act itself can and would evoke a positive realization for both of them, and that is a sense of gratitude. 

This holy week, my boyfriend wasn’t spared of my ever changing mood swings. It was supposed to be a part of my sacrifice this Lent to save him of all the drama, unfortunately it didn’t happen……….until today! We fought again early this morning (at around 1 am) over the phone and it wasn’t until I decided to read “The Fault in Our Stars” did I realize how lucky we are to have each other. Right then and there, I sent him of the most malambing text message I could compose at that moment, suddenly realizing how sacrifice is always going to be part of that pretty thing we call L-O-V-E. 

Our love story isn’t much of a secret, not to my barkada and FB friends at the least. There’s no one to blame but us. I guess we owe it to the public……….(CHAROOOOOOOOOT! artista lang?) Kidding aside, it started as an open book for everyone to see (I guess I felt it was so much more special to share it with the people who were ever as supportive from the start), which is why most if not all were also witnesses to our fights (which we took to twitter all the time, for a long time). It was only recently when we started “growing up” that we decided not to be too public about our relationship. No one really cares anyway and it makes us look cheap and very, very immature. So going back to my point, our relationship, being too “social” and too out in the open, most if not all of our friends must know how we have way too many fights, more than any other couple in the world could have in a lifetime. 

This explains why I often break up with him. OFTEN doesn’t even give justice to the million times I did, but you get my point. Our most recent one was about a certain dream of his that I just couldn’t get myself to accept. It has been a problem of ours for a long time, but one day, I decided that I love him too much to give our relationship up just for that. So for the longest time, I put on my supportive girlfriend plaque and cheered him on countless times. Then came a time wherein he was given another opportunity to be one step closer to his dream (although it was more of a step closer to “something related” to his dream, not exactly his dream) and I acted up and made the decision for him and it wasn’t a good one. To cut the story short, he sacrificed that chance for me and he lied to my face to save ourselves another argument. When I learned that he passed the chance just because I said so (even when I half-heartedly urged him to get it already), I got mad and burst into another “topak“. 

I could be a real, big pain in the butt, I admit, and somehow a break up is all I could think of whenever I feel like I’m holding him back from being the person he dreams to be. Isn’t that a good point and something a good person could have done if he/she were in my position? That is a big enough sacrifice to make me a modern day saint! Not funny, I know, I’m sorry! Then again, I realized that this guy has been one of the most wonderful people in my life right now and I could not afford to lose someone like him. I have to keep him and I have to think of a way how to and at the same time, not let him lose himself. There’s only one way I could think of and that is to love him. How exactly do I do that? Well that’s where the big S comes in. 

Just thinking of it makes me sick to my stomach, but that’s how love works. It’s not always all fireworks and dreamy starry skies. It has to be able to sustain through the stormy weather and excruciatingly torturous fights. That’s when I saw Jesus’ image being nailed to the cross. He loves us that much that despite Him being omnipotent, chose to be HUMAN and powerless against us, sinners and gave His own life for us. I told B a lot of times that I could sacrifice my own life for him, but how can I not accept his dream, the only thing that makes him hopeful for a meaningful life? That’s a rather much smaller sacrifice than giving up my life for him, isn’t it?

So you see, this not so unusual tandem of love and sacrifice is a power couple all along! It is the Brangelina and Jay-Z-Beyonce of the virtues and it isn’t always a bad thing! 

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Role Models

We look up to a lot of people in our lifetime. Some we may admire for their works, their successful lives, their careers, their families, their talents or for their passion. We may even admire random people for their simple acts of kindness, but these girls that you are about to see are not exactly the typical role models that one may particularly pay tribute to. I mean, they’re crazy and sexy and hot and as much as I feel that being really drawn to them feels awkward (coz I’m straight as hell), there is no way I can deny that I really, really admire them.

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Yep, that’s right, these girls are some of my role models!

The very first Victoria’s Secret fashion show I’ve seen was in 2006 and among all the shows I’ve seen including this year’s, I still very much like this one because of Justin Timberlake’s hot performance! I may be biased since it was the first show I’ve seen. It may only probably be that way because as they say, first love never dies. I don’t know if that makes sense, but you get what I mean. Another reason why it’s still my favorite is because of the old angels were still there. I admit, I have no idea who the other angels are nowadays. I only got to know a few thru my sister, who is very much updated in all things fashyowwwn! Lastly, I liked the finale! It was like its theme, very WINTER WONDERLAND (i looooooove white!), plus the choir behind and the song they sang (you know how I am sooooo into choirs) were both amazing and i definitely loved the angel that was slowly brought down via harness at the end. It gave me goosebumps and still does, thus it’s very unforgettable. Truly one of the best VS finales for me!

(2006 show finale, see it for yourself, if you still haven’t)

After watching this annual and most anticipated show for the past years, I’ve come to admire them for their bodies! Like what I said, I’m not gay or anything but looking at them makes me wanna be like them! In college, I’ve even met a classmate who happened to love the show too and since then we created this joke that in the future, we would get to walk down the runway with humongous wings behind us and in those tiny strings called lingerie! Seriously, I’ve imagine myself being taller than I really am and with a really perfect body walking flawlessly synchronized to a really good song in front of a loooot of people! That would be a dream come true!

Among the angels and through the years, I’ve had my fair choices of the most beautiful for me. First is still and definitely Gisele Bundchen. I’ve never really seen or known her like I’ve known Rosie (yes close lang?), but whenever I remember how she walks down that runway, it’s like all eyes are always on her. She’s got that fierce look which no one can miss! Why would you? She’s one of the best in VS history! Next on my list is Miranda Kerr. She’s also one of the senior models and like Gisele, she also has a child now. What I like about her is her fresh and young-looking face. It’s almost as if she’s still a teenager! It’s so unfair. Contrary to Gisele, Miranda is sweeter-looking and always smiling down the runway. Last on my list and probably my most favorite even out of the VS industry is ten-ten-nen-nen, Jason Statham‘s girlfriend, Rosie Huntington Whiteley! Back in the day, I’ve never really noticed her that much, but her face was very distinct and her look was very much in between Miranda’s and Gisele’s. She looks fierce, sweet, but deadly. Yeah that’s what she is, but she’s very much giggly and sweet outside of the show (as I’ve seen in her interviews). Of course, I only got familiar with her when I learned that she and Jason were dating (big fan of Jason kasi), and it was already too late when I did because she was already acting by that time.

I told you I only know I few, but a faces like Adriana Lima, Candice Swanepoel, Chanel Iman, Anne V, Molly Sims (I’ve known her trhu movies only) and another batchmate of Lima whose name I couldn’t remember, Oooops I already know—-Alessandra Ambrosio, also caught my eye! In general, I feel like I admire them mostly for their confidence and their physical attributes and the way they carry their selves. The show wouldn’t be as successful if not for them so they are the stars, well aside from the fantasy bras and wings that they strut around carrying on their shoulders!

So aside from really, really inspiring and lovely people and heroes in history, I admit that these girls are definitely also worth an entry in my blog. After all, they have been a part of my life for the past years and they inspire me in so many ways! Of course I don’t see myself as beautiful, which is why my self confidence is way, way down, but people like them somehow makes me feel hopeful (not that I would really become an angel one day) that one can really feel and look special if they want to.

P.S. Here are the other moments from the show in 2006 and last year that I really love because of the songs, the performers, the theme, the set, lingerie and grand performances!

This part, I really cannot forget because if that iconic pink door behind and the song, “Beware of the dog”

I particularly liked the new arrangement in Taylor’s song and how she stole the show from the angels! I loved it! I loved her outfit, her attitude, her voice! I love Taylor!

Sweet Rosie!

love her laugh!

Nostalgic Flower Four

Abs-cbn just started showing their first ever Foreign/Asian drama series, Meteor Garden again after 10 years of its first airing back in 2004. Of course I couldn’t catch it since I started working again, but thankfully, today is a holiday that’s why I was able to watch at least an episode. I couldn’t help but love the characters all over again! Their clothes, their hairstyles and the songs took me back to high school when I first saw this!

I would never forget how our house help, who just came back from Taiwan then and worked for us again kept talking about this teleserye she watched religiously every night while she was staying there. Of course anything she says that I cannot relate with didn’t really capture my attention so even though she was very excited to share the whole thing, I never really got it, until ABS-CBN introduced it in April-May 2004 (if I’m not mistaken). I think it was only a few days or weeks after our help went home when we saw the teasers on tv that obviously made her shriek uncontrollably, as in bigtime!

So when it was first shown, I admit that I was definitely one of the other million viewers who were hooked! As in, person who knew all the lyrics to the songs, downloaded their whole slumbook info, bought posters and stickers and wrote the series name in Chinese-hooked! I researched everything about the series and even more on the stars who portrayed the roles of those 4 spoiled brats and that poor but fierce Shan Cai!

I was in high school then so that explains why my life turned upside down when I first saw this. Fastforward to 10 years after, I’m not surprised why I still know the lyrics of their songs and why I still remember the scenes so well. Unlike my friends who bought VCD’s of the series (di pa masyado uso ang DVD’s), I wasn’t able to afford buying the whole thing. When the cheaper DVD versions came out, it was a little too late since I already got hooked to lots of other Asianovelas. When the news came out that they were going to air it again, what struck me more is the fact that it was exactly 10 years ago when it first aired on Philippine TV! Isn’t that amazing?!?! When I watched this video earlier it’s almost as if it was yesterday when I first saw this! I could even remember watching this on MYX and now you’re telling me that I was only 14 when this video came out? These guys must be really old by now! HAHA!

Boy I’m glad that I got to watch even just a single episode because these guys definitely dented my heart and it would forever be there until I get to have grandchildren of my own to whom I would be passing this on to (I gotta buy a copy!!!!).

P.S. I cannot believe how more than half of the giddy girls including me fell for Lei when Dao Ming Si was so much good looking and appealing even when his hair was up in its pineapple style! No one likes the bad guy I guess!

So that’s it for now! I’d be singing this to sleep tonight! Everybody sing…..OH baby baby, my baby baby Wu Je Bu Neng Xi Qu Ni!