I might really be just overthinking/overanalyzing things but you can’t blame me if the thought that I can’t truly be happy without getting depressed in the end keeps popping in my head. I might just be worrying too much pero it’s what happens to me all the time. It’s not that I plan on getting depressed by the end of the day just to make sure my theory’s foolproof because I don’t. At first I thought that it might just be a coincidence that my being too happy should be counteracted by a lot of worrying/crying after. That’s what I thought, but after having experienced it several times, I can’t help but think, maybe it’s not coincidental after all, maybe it’s the law of balance (if that’s what it’s called), of yin and yang, of black and white. Everything has to be balanced out, whether good or bad.
And talagang hinanap ang definition ng LAW OF BALANCE eh. This struck me the most:
“If the pendulum swings too far one way, it will inevitably swing back the other way.”
Does this have something to do with KARMA?
To tell you honestly, this theory of mine is getting on my nerves already. It’s crossed the line (it’s way, way past the line, actually) and now, I am getting really frustr ated that sometimes, I think I have to force myself not to become too happy because as expected, something bad will come along to take that happiness away. The bad thing is, most of the time, I can’t really help but be happppy! Bakit ba? Eh sa I’m naturally a very cheerful person that it’s such a big feat for me to suppress a laugh or a giggle even at a tiniest, corniest joke. I cannot let a day pass without smiling or laughing coz I’m surrounded by all too funny people. I cannot just NOT react at the kwentos or chikas people share just because I’m too afraid that soon after, it’ll all be over anyway, and something bad shall take over. I can’t have that mentality (even if I already do have it already), can’t I? That’s a bit pessimistic, in a way. I know I’m just babbling nonsense and I might not even have a point here, but all I really wanna say is that I wanna be truly happy without having to worry about a catch in the end! ALAMO YUN? Yung walang kapalit. Minsan kapag out of control na yung tawanan namin ng friends ko, may magsasabi “uuy tama na, baka umiyak na naman tayo mamaya…” Kita mo yung mindset na ganun? Can’t we just ALL be happy now and forever and ever, and ever, and ever and ever?
Anywhooo, I’m getting a bit sleepy coz I was in school since 7 this morning (bakit di ba ganun on normal school days?), plus I just ate lunch so I kinda doze off every once in a while as we speak. Anway, I’ll probably catch up on the much needed sleep habang may fan pa sa room! Please Lord, take all my worries away!
P.S. yesterday, we already got our togas so time for picture picture naaa! plus, today, I got my DR/NURSERY prc forms re-checked and re-signed, completed my OR cases and had my scrub folder signed as well! So all I need to prepare for is revalida on friday! THANK YOU LORD!!! I love you! Malakas talaga ako sayo! HAPPINESS!