I keep on thinking of myself as a huge failure. I am a failure as a student, daughter, friend, best friend, Catholic and whatever else you could possibly think of. It’s true that many of us may think in the same way (for various reasons) but not in the same level (‘coz we go through different problems and issues). Like say for example, I may be too hard on myself for being such a lazy, careless student whereas others may be beating themselves up for not getting a certain quiz perfect. In a way, even though we may all think of ourselves as losers, I still feel like I am on the lowest rank of all losers in the world. As I’ve said before, it’s hard to keep up with people I don’t level with, but I try to, as much as I can and want, to squeeze every juice of knowledge and wisdom I still have left in my brain in order to get by. But sometimes (or most of the time rather), I just want to give up. Like I don’t care anymore whatever they want to think about me or however they see me as (through my performance in school) because in the end, I keep telling myself that I would find something amazing to do after I finish school. I keep dreaming that one day, I’ll find that job that’s perfect enough for me, for my interest and for my passion. It doesn’t necessarily have something to do with the course I’m taking up right now, however, if that’s what God has planned for me to do, then what reason do I have to make to get out of it, right?

In as much as I’d like to keep going, ranting about how much of a big loser I am (bigger than the biggest loser on tv! cornets!), I still have this ounce of inner strength and faith in myself that I am the opposite of everything I just said above… meaning, I am a WINNER! Even though I know (and I admit, <–yehes humble!) that I am not as smart as the smartest person in our batch, I know I have my own strengths, talents and abilities that no one else can take away from me (unless I allow them to). So for now, I guess, I have to maximize these abilities and the time (privilege!) that we were provided with in order to make the most out of the last 3 months (more or less) that we have left before graduation!

So I pray to God that whatever happens, may I be ready to face and be responsible for whatever price/consequence or reward it entails. May I end up crying in full tears of joy at the end of this journey! And may you, yes you who’s taking time to read this may learn the value of hardwork in order for you to avoid committing the same mistakes I did! So, GOD BLESS US ALL! Thank you Lord for the successful report we had! LOVES IT!

and for my final words…


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