No More Wasted Nights

I don’t remember falling asleep last night; although I am sure I went to bed early as I was dead tired from the equally excruciating weather and job of mine.

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I woke up at 2:30-ish this morning and I realized that I didn’t take a bath before I went to bed, just as I would have wanted. I heard the water still running in the bath. Oooops, I did it again!

I couldn’t stand the heat so I had a quick bath, yep in the wee hours of the morning and I haven’t slept since.

As usual, I went to scour my phone for likes. I posted another film photo on my gram. I watched Chris Evans and Elizabeth Olsen on Ellen. I looked it up to see if they were dating. I was relieved to find out they weren’t, but who can prove that? Then, I began thinking whether I’d ever get myself my very own Chris Evans with America’s ass. JK.

I put down my phone for a bit, but I still couldn’t go back to sleep.

So, I decided I’d read my Neil Gaiman book, hoping it would eventually get me sleepy, but it didn’t. I got it from the Book Binge Bazaar of National Bookstore here in Cebu. I finished chapter 9, which is his “MAKE GOOD ART” speech for the graduates of University of Arts in Philadelphia. I ended on page 495 this afternoon while waiting to cover an oncologist, not knowing that the chapter ends in page 496. 

I went on to read the next chapter, “The View from the Cheap Seats“, which is also the book’s title. It was eye-opening and a little amusing as it talks about his Oscar’s experience, with all the celebrities he did and did not know. After that, I proceeded to reading the introduction. Just as he said in it, I was right in thinking that this book can be read in no particular order, as it is a collection of his speeches and essays. It is very engaging. It didn’t make me want to go back to sleep.

Instead, it made me want to make good art and to write this entry.

1 1/2 chapters into the book, yet I’ve already got loads of takeaways from the book.

I like what he said on how to focus on a goal and how not to get sidetracked by doing work that pays but isn’t in line with your objectives. I also like the way he sees making art as a lifesaver, because it would get you through good and bad times.

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It also is very timely that I got his book at this point in my life as I am faced with a crossroads once again. Just as he didn’t, I also don’t want to be stuck in a position that would lead me further away from my goal, so I need to make decisions may they make or break me.

I am turning 30 this year yet I feel like I might as well retire from work, just because I’m tired of doing something I do not love. It is pathetic.

Good thing though, I have a good support system as ever. I did get over my little dramatic moment with my boss a week ago and I’m choosing to fight this battle as courageous as possible, with the help from God and my loved ones of course. 

I had to get out of the house quickly and early this morning as my landlady warned me that people are fixing our street today. I am stuck in my car in the hospital parking lot because all of our clients are in Manila for the PCP convention. So I guess, I’m gonna make that art now!

P.S. I am so in love with my photos that were scanned by Sunny 16 Lab!

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P.S. 2, I am so in love with Avengers Endgame. I watched it alone, and I’m glad I did!

P.S. 3, No more wasted nights is from one of my favorite songs to date by ONE OK. And yes, I’ll keep doing what I want, I want, I want. No more wasted nights!

Off to make good art now!

 

 

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Filmmaking and Deliberate Living

FILM MAKING

Last Saturday, I attended another Colours Foto event here in Cebu. This time around, it was sponsored by SONY PH INC., which is why I was so excited! They offered free cleaning services for the first 15 attendees! Did I mention that the seminar itself was also free (with free snacks) and the speaker was none other than the the great, Pepe Diokno!

 

 

 

 

The talk ended earlier than planned as there weren’t a lot of questions from the participants; but it was packed with lots of amazing takeaways on filming documentaries and travel videos, I had to take notes!

What struck me the most at the beginning of the talk was the story behind his successful career in the film industry. I guess every great person had something to struggle with before they got to where they are now and Mr. Diokno was no different. He shared how he struggled to find his voice at the start of his career, not to mention how he went through a couple of mishaps, which I had to admit were terrifying but inspiring at the same time. It made him a bit more relatable and a little less infallible, at least through my eyes.

Another important takeaway from this talk was (of course) about filming documentaries. He taught us the 3 golden questions to ask before deciding if a documentary is worth doing or not:

  1. Who is the story about?
  2. Who is telling the story?
  3. What interests you the most about the story?

Simple, but these questions are the deal breakers as these would align all the other elements of the film to your plot.

Apart from these, he also shared a lot of tips, from evoking answers you need from the people involved in the story, to the camera set ups, to the pre, post and production of the film.

He also showed a lot of his works, most of which brought a lot of the attendees to tears, me included.

His award-winning films include “Engwentro“, “Above the Clouds” and “Kapatiran“.

 

 

 

 

He’s also known for tv ads that could make even the toughest men cry.

 

 

In the middle of the talk, I remember I had an epiphany! Well, it’s either that or I just got carried away so bad, my emotions were playing tricks on me! So I realized, I’m not meant to pursue nursing (despite having a license and hospital experience) nor am I destined to be successful in a corporate world, because my heart will truly beat only for ARTS and MEDIA. Though I know it would be hell to pursue, I feel that it is something I should go after, may it be in the near future or not.


DELIBERATE LIVING

Speaking of epiphanies, I must be on a roll this weekend as I had another one while watching this documentary on Netflix called MINIMALISM.

I watched it twice yesterday and I felt like it was speaking to me knowing that in my heart, I yearn for a life in simplicity.

I have struggled with depression and eternal quarter life crisis, not only because I used to constantly compare myself to my peers and social media made it worse, but also because I didn’t know how to fill the void in my soul, heart and mind.

This documentary and the Minimalists, Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus helped me understand why people remain unhappy despite having everything money can buy.

After watching it twice, I felt the need to follow a minimalist lifestyle to be able to save up money this year, to live a deliberate life rather than a compulsive one and to be content and happy.

That is the goal and that is what I want for my life from now on.

Right now, I wanna learn more about living a minimalist life and how to declutter my life so I could let go of the excess stuff, not only the physical but as well as the emotional and psychological baggage that burdens me.

Boy, am I glad to have found a new PODCAST to follow and 173 episodes to indulge myself with!

 

I know the first 3 months of this year went by so fast, but I’m committing myself to continue with boxing for a stronger me, to pursue my real dreams and to live a more minimalist lifestyle. I have never been more excited!

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Essence of Life

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I remember falling asleep in the middle of watching “Isn’t It Romantic” last night. Don’t get me wrong, I liked that Rebel Wilson played a fresh new character who wasn’t as obnoxious as all the other characters she played in the past. It was cute, however, I just came home dead tired from work and my body just automatically shuts down especially when there’s work the next day.

Then this morning I woke up from the scariest dream! I was in a BEAUTY PAGEANT!!!!!

I remember walking along other competitors looking literally minute, or they were all just gigantic! I also remember listening to the answer of contestant #1 (I was the 6th and the last to answer and I don’t know why we were all watching the first girl to answer her question).

The question was about politics, education or something related to both, then when I learned that I was the last to answer, I snapped out of it and woke up.

Then I asked myself a few questions before I concentrated on one which was “WHAT IS THE ESSENCE OF LIFE?

After practicing a few times, I memorized my answer, if ever I would be asked this in the future.

Of course, there is the “thank you for that profound question!”
then off to “I believe that the true essence of life lies within our purpose. We all have different definitions of success and I believe that no amount of money, fame, glory and power can ever give you the fulfillment that living a life with a purpose can. Purpose will serve as the fire we ignite within our hearts and keep burning throughout our journey that is life so that even in the darkest moments, we can find our way back to the path that would lead us to our goals….Goals that shouldn’t revolve around achieving personal gains but in making a life beneficial for the people around us and the world we live in. And that my friends, is the essence of life…………AND I, THANK YOU!”

Then a few seconds after is where I go krumping! LOL!

Kidding aside, I concocted this answer in my brain a few seconds after I asked myself that question to see if I can easily formulate the answer had I been in a real pageant.

I also would love to answer how can you help the world with:

“I deeply believe in the fact that everyone who has attained any level of education all had hopes and dreams of fulfilling their duty to the world. And that duty is to give back to the world that has provided us with resources to attain our current statuses in life. What better way can we give back than to support environmental efforts and children’s dreams of education so that we can pass on these ideals to them and in turn continue to sustain a better world for the future generations.”

Sabay hiphop pose!

I was just proud to have thought of these answers that I practiced saying in my most articulate way in the dark early this morning. Then I was interrupted by 2 cats flirting outside my window, which I thought was a drunk neighbor or even scarier, a creature of the dark. Good thing, it was already 6 in the morning! My room was just too dark without the lights on, thanks to my soooooper opaque curtains!

Anyway, it’s ASH WEDNESDAY today! I should be able to go to Church today coz it’s mingaw day in Cebu, especially with the FMs attending the PAFP in Manila! And I’ll probably continue watching Isn’t It Romantic and the Umbrella Academy on Netflix!

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Tiger

To the person I almost loved.

When I met you, I didn’t like you at all. I thought, I wouldn’t even wanna talk to you, even if the world ends.

But you changed my first impression of you in a way that I wouldn’t have expected, just as our first meeting was. Unexpected.

When I got to know you, I kept telling you, you were too good to be true. You were slowly unfolding into the real you, letting me in to the person that you truly are, and again, I thought, you’re weird, but I like it.

Never a day went by that you didn’t brighten my morning with your “go get them, Tiger” texts. For the longest time, I never thought that someone would dare break down this wall that I have built, so no one could come close, until you came into my life.

When I talk to you, my mind opens up to a world that I never thought existed. You constantly test my beliefs, my wisdom and my limits in a good way.

I craved for your attention, for your time, for you and slowly, you became part of my life I wouldn’t want to end. I didn’t know if I was falling in love. I didn’t know if it was love that I was feeling. All I knew was that I care about you just as you care for me.

You ask me a lot about future kids. You talk about building [our] house on a hill top. You tell me things that make me like you even more. Maybe I was falling, all thanks to you, the person, I almost loved.

I like how good looking you are and how brilliant your mind is. I like how you are so good to the people around you. I like how you let your sad past mold you into a good man that you are now. I like how your mind works. I like your insights on life. I like how you take care of yourself, and your family. I like that you know yourself well and that you have planned your future. I like that you stand firm with your decisions.

Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for opening up to me. Thank you for kissing me and hugging me and holding my hand. Thank you for pigging out with me and for working out with me after. Thank you for worrying about me. Thank you for taking care of me when I was sick. Thank you for being disappointed our beach trip got cancelled. Thank you for listening to my worries and for making them go away. Thank you for making my faith in God stronger. Thank you for teaching me Bisaya. Thank you for getting in to the photobooth with me even if you didn’t want to. Thank you for getting into my car that day where it all started. Thank you for all the beautiful memories.

I’m sorry if I was impatient or paranoid. I’m sorry if I was a bit selfish. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to wait for you.

If tomorrow, we meet again, I would like to let you know that you have inspired me to be a better me. You made me braver and stronger with your Buddhist mantras. You made me smile with your dog videos. You made me love Cebu even more.

You taught me things I would treasure forever.

I told you most of these things. I thanked you a lot for them too. I just hope that I would’ve told you I am lucky I met you and that I loved you and I miss you.

Go get them, Tiger!

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The Sunday Currently / 16

Again, this is a SIDDATHORNTON BLOG LINK UP. This series ended in 2014 yet a lot of people still continued theirs on their respective blogs. I was #76 on the list of blog links and will post my 15th TSC today as I missed it so much!

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C U R R E N T L Y . . .
 
R E A D I N G  “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” still not done with this coz I started reading other books, but I’m almost done with this one! Hoping that I won’t run out of Mark Manson wisdom, but it is what it is! Read a really good chapter while at the laundromat earlier today.
 
W R I T I N G  this blog post and maybe something on my personal journal. I saw “Definitely, Maybe” again today and I was inspired to write a handwritten entry on my journal!
 
L I S T E N I N G  to the Mars Chill Hitzzzzz playlist on Spotify! haha! Latest addition is LFO’s “Summer Girls” because I thought about it while posting our 90’s themed photos online!
 
T H I N K I N G  about commuting to work tomorrow. I want my car baaaaacckkk!!!
 
S M E L L I N G  my chicken noodle soup!
 
W I S H I N G  I could finally rest from all the corporate work and just open up a snack shack at the beach!
 
W E A R I N G  my plain gray shirt and undies! Oooops!
 
L O V I N G  the fact that I jogged, did my laundry, went to church, went grocery shopping and had a big Mongolian bowl for lunch all before 2pm and without a car and without riding a trike!
 
W A N T I N G  peace of mind and more competency in my line of work!
 
N E E D I N G  cuddle time, intense skin rejuvenation and detoxification!!!! I’m so stressed about the small bumps that appeared on my face and back!
 
F E E L I N G  grateful! I just wanna be grateful to the Lord all the time! There’s so much we need to thank Him for, we just forget to because our whole being is clouded by so many worldly worries!
 
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